


When Two Worlds Collide

by nattycookies09



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Brothers, Character Death, Child Abuse, Closure, Death, Deep Dark, Depression, Diary/Journal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Heartbreak, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Physical Abuse, Slice of Life, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Violence, Winkboy, Winkdeep, idk anymore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2018-12-10 14:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 76,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11693706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nattycookies09/pseuds/nattycookies09
Summary: Jinyoung, an extremely troubled high schooler diagnosed with depression, decides to end his life and heads to one of the most dangerous neighbourhoods in the process by accident. Once there, he meets a certain Park Jihoon on a rooftop of a seemingly abandoned and dilapidated building, and they soon find themselves crossing each other’s paths more and more after that. This story will showcase their slightly haunting, but beautiful friendship and how they help one another through their individual hardships. However, they soon realise that their friendship was never meant to last, and perhaps, never meant to be.





	1. The Wish To Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! ^^ It’s me again and I am back with another fully written fanfiction with regards to one of my favourite OTPs and that is none other than Winkdeep consisting of Bae Jinyoung and Park Jihoon. When it came to writing this scenario, it did take quite a bit of research, considering that this was a fanfiction that was pretty intense to write and as you guys read on, I suppose it’s easy to tell why my internet history is a little bit wonky now. :’) I have actually come up with all the key points of the story and hence, this would be a series that I would actually be determined to finish! Happy reading (wow the irony) and I hope you guys would enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :) 
> 
> Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicide, bullying, swearing, side character deaths, depression

It was a typical Tuesday morning, 8am, or at least that was the time that showed on the digital clock by my bedside with huge green numbers. The shrill ring of the alarm did give me a shock but I only tossed and turned, refusing to get up, before I gave in to the annoyingly high pitched ring to turn it off.

However, I continued to lie in my bed, staring at the ceiling and taking occasional glances towards the window that my study table faced. I could see that the sun was up in the midst of a cerulean blue sky with the sightings of scarce white and puffy clouds. The birds were chirping melodiously and I could also hear the sound of the howling wind as it blew against my windows. Indeed, I could have fallen asleep once again with the calming sounds of nature, which always seemed to put me at ease.

As one could probably tell, it was currently the summer break for all the students who had spent countless hours cooped up in their rooms, classrooms and even homes for the examinations. They would use that time to do a seemingly endless number of examination papers and revision material in order to remember and apply the facts of the subjects that they would probably never get to use in the days to come. As a high school student, it was pretty apt to say the least.

Hence, after all the hard work and effort they have put in, it was their time to have fun, see the sun and attain all the Vitamin D that they had been lacking for the past few months. They would come back with sun-kissed skin (or burnt for that matter), new friends and wide smiles on their faces as they spend time with their family members and friends whom they have not seen in ages. Most schools did have examinations across the same period, which hindered frequent meetups with friends and loved ones, especially when the society was so competitive, it was uncommon to see teenagers not socialising at all due to their own self-interests by hiding notes from their friends and adopting the mentality of independence; no one was going to help you and you’re on your own now.

Indeed, it did sound like another happy day for all students, especially after all the stress that they have experienced, but not for me.

I did not know whether it was my depression acting up again or was it just the fact that I was too tired to do anything. Therefore, I just laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling, even after my alarm had already rang. My mind was blank and all I could do was to focus on a point on the ceiling, generating all the energy that I felt in one spot. I sighed as I did so, but continued, before my eyelids felt heavy once again and I was back asleep in no time. At this point, I should have taken my anti-depressants because those feelings were trying to consume me all over again.

Feelings of anger, hurt, guilt and sadness came like a tidal wave and it felt as if a monster was residing in my own head. It was not very active, thanks to the strong medication that the psychiatrist had prescribed me with, but when it chose to be active, it always came at the wrong moments, hindering my daily life greatly because it prevented me from doing things that I had taken the slight interest in. I would be too busy thinking of how I was simply a burden to society that nobody really wanted. I was kicked out my own home, taken in by the kindest stranger that I have ever met and was soon passed on to her successful, brilliant son when she passed away.

I would laugh bitterly as I reminisced about the time when I was chased out of the house for one simple reason- gender identity. Yes, it was that trivial, and then again, I would realise that I did not necessarily come from the most accepting of societies. Then came Mrs Hwang, a widow, who picked me up from the convenience store and invited me to live with her and I was introduced to her son, Hwang Minhyun. Both of them had a passion for the Arts; she liked painting and he liked photography and theatre, which soon got me into modern art. It did not help that I came from a strict, pragmatic and simple family, which made me even more clueless but they helped me along the way, never giving up on me and adapted to my once pragmatic nature as well.

Minhyun was like the older brother that I never had and it was clear he actually did adore me a lot. When I went to school, he would send me a text at least once throughout the day as a form of encouragement and if Mrs Hwang was not at home due to her frequent travels, he would take care of me; helping me with my homework, cooking for the two of us and even preparing lunchboxes for me to take to school. It was almost bliss, for a lack of a better word, and that I was given another chance to live again.

Sadly, all good things never seemed to last.

News got out that I did not conform to the social norms of gender and from then onwards, everything else went downhill because I trusted people a little too much. Sometimes, it would just be judgemental stares and whispers about my identity or if they felt like it, it was physical violence, saying that I should not be in the male’s toilet if I was going to be turned on by boys at the urinals. One can possibly name all the tactics that they had used and I had probably experienced most of them. If not, all. The boys would beat me up in the toilet (most of the time) or in the back alleys until my ribs hurt and blood out of my mouth just because I was different.

“What happened to you? Jinyoung-ah, did you fight with someone? You are bleeding, limping and don’t you dare tell me you fell into a drain.” Minhyun would ask with wide eyes and concern laced in his voice before he would ask me to sit down on the couch so that he could tend to my wounds.

“So… Are you going to tell me? Or do I have to find out on my own?” Minhyun would ask while applying antiseptic cream on my open wounds.

“Uh… I fell into a manhole and then a drain.”

For most of the time, Minhyun would stop and look at me with furrowed brows, clearly not buying what I just said. It just came way too naturally for me, until I realised that it would definitely not explain for my torn uniform sleeves and my swollen face from the punches that they had given me. There was no way one could have fallen into a drain and got a swollen and red face, unless one fell in face flat and that was very highly probable.

There would be awkward silence for a few moments as Minhyun stared intensely into my eyes, like he was going to burn a hole through my skull, but he only sighed and continued to tend to my wounds and ice my swollen ankle.

“Jinyoung… I just hope you’ll open up to hyung one day. When I’m done, take a warm shower. It’s going to sting a little but I will try my best to keep your wounds dry with cellophane wrap. Before that, leave your uniform outside and I will stitch it up for you and I will try my best to make it as good as new. Please be careful next time okay?”

I would nod silently and find myself fiddling with my fingers while looking down at them. Sometimes, I could feel the tears cascade down my cheeks and I tasted the saltiness of my tears simply because of the guilt that I felt for lying to Minhyun. He was being genuine in showing his care and concern for someone who is not even his biological brother and here I was, lying to him out of fear of what he would do if he found out. Nobody messed with Minhyun and for good reason.

“Aigoo… There’s no need to cry.” He would say and he would tilt my chin up so that I was facing him, and I was greeted with a gentle and warm smile from Minhyun as he wiped my tears away with his thumb, “You have to be strong Jinyoung-ah. Whatever happens to you, you need to show that you will not be affected by them. You may be different, but that’s okay. Everyone is.” And he would envelop me in a firm embrace as I cried into his shirt.

Then came the day when Minhyun did not come home a few days after another incident that took place a week after that.

Being a university student from Yonsei majoring in Visual Art, it was typical for students that age not to be home because they were either with their friends or crammed up in the library preparing for their semestral tests. It was typical for Minhyun too and he had also sent me a text that he’ll be late. However, I could not get rid of the uncomfortable feeling that settled within me, especially when I did not hear from him and it was already an hour passed the time that he had told me of

When I was getting beaten up once again in another alleyway, I had given up all my wills to fight by then. It was okay. I could handle the pain and I felt it no longer. I was kicked hard, punched, slapped and was probably choked once or twice till my lips turned blue. Until a shout resounded through the alleyway and my eyes opened wide when I recognised it.

It was Minhyun. What was he doing here at this time?

“What the hell do you think you young boys are doing to a fellow schoolmate? Aren’t you all supposed to be in school preparing for your examinations?”

I heard the questions get louder, which meant that Minhyun was walking nearer and nearer to the scene and I closed my eyes, preparing for the worse situation possible when he finds out that I was the victim being beaten. Minhyun was not only book smart, but also street smart or incredibly observant and he could probably recognise a friend across a busy street.

_Hyung, please don’t come here. Don’t. Just don’t. Please, go home. Run along and don’t look back._

“YAH JINYOUNG-AH.”

_Shit._

“Oh my god. You are bleeding again, your uniform is a mess, the stitches gave way and you have bruises all over. Jinyoung-ah, respond to me please. I know it’s hard to keep your eyes open now, but look at me and smile or I don’t know. Can you hear me?”

“H-hyung…” I stuttered and it honestly hurt to breathe because only the Almighty would know how ruined my ribcage was now. I was surprised they were not broken after all the beatings I went through, but it was probably accurate to say that if I had taken one more hit, I would have broken at least one.

“And where the hell do you think you are going?” He asked in a fierce and authoritative tone towards the bullies, “How dare you leave my younger brother here after everything you’ve done to him?!”

It was clear that he was fuming now and if I were the bully, I would have steered clear of him.

Nope, they were more stupid than I thought. Indeed.

“Yah, pretty boy, who are you anyway to mind in OUR business? He deserves to be beaten up and probably dead for that matter. He’s gay and we just cannot stand it so why not? In fact, he’s nothing more than trash right now. It’s dirty, disgusting and putrid, just like a certain Jinyoung who doesn’t have a surname. He doesn’t belong anywhere so why the fuck should we even care about what happens to him? He’s just a waste of space and an eyesore. In fact, we are probably nice enough; all we do is beat him up. He should be grateful that we have not asked him to suck our dicks yet. That would be cool, won’t it? I’ll gladly ask him to–”

And that was when I heard a hard punch that was probably given by Minhyun and if I was not hearing things yet, I could hear the sound of a bone being fractured, but it did not stop there. There were heavy pants, shouts and more kicks given and so I turned my body to see that Minhyun had successfully taken down 4 of the strongest boys in the group. All of them groaning in pain while the other 5 ran away. He stood tall now, fists clenched till his knuckles turned ghostly white and his shoulders moved according to his breathing. It was not rapid, but one could tell that he was still seeing red.

“And you,” he faced the leader who looked a little terrified now, “I’m not done with you yet.”

He grabbed the leader’s collar and pinned him hard against the brick wall and inched closer to his face, “Look asshole, just because Jinyoung is different, that doesn’t mean he’s an animal. Just because he’s gay, it gives you no right to express your desire on how you want to be fucked by him because I will fuck you up if you say that again. I dare you to. He doesn’t have a surname, so who are you to judge? You yourself shouldn’t even have a name when you treat others like that. I can give you a chance to run along now with that fractured cheek of yours. Go, and if I see you again, I might just choose to kill you.”

And with that, Minhyun let him go, throwing him against the ground like a rag doll and he cursed under his breath, before the rest clutched onto their stomachs and ran for their lives.

“Come on Jinyoung-ah. Let’s go home. Can you stand?”

I nodded and he pulled me up, before kneeling down in front of me, saying, “Get on my back. It’s clear you are too disoriented to walk and you’re too badly injured. Come on, let’s go home and I’ll fix you.”

As I remembered the events while I continued to stare blankly at my notes, the ring from my mobile phone snapped me out of my reverie and it was not the ringtone I was familiar with. It was an unknown number and I panicked even more, before answering, “H-hello?”

“Hello, is this Jinyoung?” A calm voice responded and it sounded nothing like the bullies, which was a relief.

“Yes, this is Jinyoung. W-who i-is t-this?”

“Hi Jinyoung. I am calling from Seoul National Hospital and you were listed as the second point of contact by my current patient, Hwang Minhyun. Could you come down to the hospital to meet me? I will be waiting at the lobby and I will explain everything to you then. See you.”

And he hung up, but my hands shook as I kept my phone in my pocket, but I changed to a simple pullover and jeans before heading out of the house and running as fast as my legs could carry me for a taxi that zoomed past the apartment block.

Luckily, the taxi driver had seen me and stopped for me, waiting for me to run after him just so that I could jump in and slam the door (a little too hard).

“Where to, young man? Take a breath first, calm down and tell me where do you want to go.”

“Seoul National Hospital. Please hurry. It’s an emergency.”

********

“HWANG MINHYUN.”

“Sir, could I ask for the purpose of your visit?”

“Cut the crap and just tell me where the hell you guys have kept Minhyun. A doctor called me just now and it’s an emergency so could you please tell me where he is kept NOW?”

“What is your name sir?”

“For the love of God, my name is Jinyoung and I do not have a surname. Now would you KINDLY tell me where the fuck you have kept Minhyun? I need to see him now.”

“Ah… Is this the certain Jinyoung that I was speaking to on the phone just now?”

I turned around to the voice, only to be faced with a tall young man with light brown hair and a relatively muscular build. He had broad shoulders, fair skin and it was a little hard to imagine him as a doctor in real life, especially if he was without the white doctor’s coat that he was wearing now.

“Y-yes sir. I need to see Hwang Minhyun now. Please?”

Tears threatened to fall by that time and the doctor only nodded before giving me a few encouraging pats on the shoulder.

“Follow me. We will talk on the way there.”

We were standing in the lift now and heading to the 10th floor. The furnishing of the hospital was extremely grand and it was unlike anything I have seen before. When I had arrived, I nearly screamed at the taxi driver for bringing me to the wrong place because it seemed too much like a hotel or a shopping mall for that matter, until I read the signage and the green cross in front of its name. It had marble flooring, chandeliers and extremely high ceilings with open air corridors that faced each other on both sides. The glass windows extended from the floor to the ceiling and it was actually a beautiful place to be in, day or night.

“Doctor, why is hyung here? Is he alright?”

He did not turn to look at me, but I heard him let out a sigh before saying, “He was beaten up by some gangsters and his condition, when he arrived, was pretty bad. If he was not brought here in time and given 2 bags of a blood transfusion, he could have died. We have sent him for bodily checkups to see whether he has faced any internal injuries and will receive the results shortly. He is resting now under an IV drip but please don’t worry. I assure you that he will be okay under our care.”

I gave a loud sigh and bolted to the door the moment it opened and I was surprised that the doctor did not stop me from causing such a ruckus in such a peaceful place.

“Turn right twice and he will be found at Room 28.” The doctor said in a louder voice so that he could be heard even when I was running, having no chance of giving any more hoots about what else the doctor had to say. I just needed to see Minhyun and make sure that he was alright with my own eyes. I had to convince myself that he was okay without all the bombardment of information that I had just received.

When I reached it, I was tempted to open it without a second thought but stopped myself and knocked twice, before stepping into the room. Indeed, he was linked up to an IV drip and his chest rose and fell in a calm manner. At that moment, he turned around weakly, wincing in pain with a grimace before greeting me and the doctor.

“Hello Doctor Kang and hi Jinyounggie. I’m glad to see you are okay.” He said with a smile and honestly, how was he still smiling in such a situation?

“Hyung, what happened to you? It looks bad. I was so worried that I rushed here and I nearly burst out crying when the annoying receptionist won’t give me your ward number before I gave her my particulars.”

He only chuckled at the statement and lifted his arm, which obviously took a lot of effort and ruffled my hair, “Aish, hyung is okay. Just happened to run into some unfortunate circumstances and here I am now. Still happy to see you though and one thing’s for sure, I’m glad to still be alive, even if I’m not exactly well.”

“Doctor Kang, his results are in.” A nurse said quietly and Doctor Kang nodded before receiving the file and saying a short thank you to the nurse. She left as quickly as she came, shutting the door gently behind her and walking away, perhaps to help out another patient.

“So,” Doctor Kang spoke again, “In total, you had been slashed 25 times on almost all parts of your body especially your fingers and your back. Lucky for you, Mr Hwang, you had been brought here early. Before I go on to the news, I would just like to inform you that we had done some bodily scans and have given you all the necessary stitching and fixing up needed. All you need now is to eat plenty of iron-rich foods to replenish the lost blood, even when we have already transfused into you 2 bags of B blood.”

Minhyun nodded in understanding and Doctor Kang continued, but his tone became more solemn and slightly more apologetic, “I’m sorry Mr Hwang, but I do have some news for you that you might not want to hear.”

“It’s okay, please continue. It is only right if I know what happened to me. And besides, Doctor Kang, anything is better than being in a casket at this point.”

“It has been found that the nerves in your fingers, especially the thumbs have been severely severed. Your thumbs got the worst impact, followed by your middle and index fingers. That simply means that you would be unable to use your fingers adeptly until long term physiotherapy, which would be held 3 times a week to aid in the movement. It will never be perfect, but it will get better.”

“Doctor,” Minhyun sighed and I could tell that his world had crashed down on him and tears were threatening to stain his milky white skin, “But I am majoring in the Arts in Yonsei for photography, pottery and painting. Does that mean I would have to quit then?”

His voice was shaking now and Doctor Kang just sighed in dejection. In fact, he has probably seen many cases like these, where people had to quit their professions or jobs because of an injury or an illness. It was hard to watch, definitely, and it was rare to see Minhyun feeling this way. He did not show much expression, but it was clear from his eyes that the spark within them had dwindled when the news was broken to him.

_See? If you hadn’t been such a weakling, Minhyun would not have to face an issue like this. Look at how sad he is, just witness how much suffering you have caused him. He is no longer able to produce the pieces that he once did and you know how hard he must have worked to secure a place in the university itself, regardless of the course. You are so selfish Jinyoung-ah, you really are._

“I will see what I can do Minhyun-sshi. For now, please rest while I consult the rest of my team, especially the physiotherapy department. We will try our best, we truly will. We know how it must feel but you must give us some time as well and we really do seek your understanding in this matter.”

And with that, Minhyun only let out an exasperated sign of acknowledgement at Doctor Kang’s claims and the latter took his leave with a bow and a “Good night”, before closing the door behind him gently as well.

Hence, that left Minhyun and I in a tense and awkward atmosphere. The tension was so thick in the air that one could probably slash it with a knife easily. I did not know whether to sit down or not and it seemed beyond rude, especially when I had become the indirect cause to Minhyun’s injury. In a nutshell, my mind was blank of any thoughts and I just stood there, staring into oblivion and occasionally looking around the room without meeting Minhyun’s gaze.

“Jinyoung-ah, why do you look so tense?? Take a seat right here on hyung’s bed.”

He patted the spotless white sheets and motioned for me to sit down but it was as if my legs had grown roots of their own. The feeling of guilt was way too overwhelming to say the least and before I knew it, the tears fell once again. I attempted to look up to stop it from flowing, before looking back down to hide them from Minhyun. Then a series of choked up sobs followed, before I decided to bury my face in my hands.

“Aigoo… Jinyoung-ah… Don’t cry anymore.”

“I-I’m sorry h-hyung. I really am. If I had been stronger and had enough courage to fight back, you would not have to protect me, get injured and risk your coveted spot in the university. If I found some form of will in me knowing that you would be in danger, I would have done something. I really would have. Your mum is going to hate me. What do I do hyung? WHAT DO I DO?”

“Jinyoung-ah, come here. I can’t stand so do me a favour, will you?”

I mustered up the courage to take the first step and when I was close enough, it was clear that Minhyun had used his utmost strength, pulling me down towards him and eventually enveloping me in a firm hug, like he always did. With that, the tears fell for a second time, just as much as the first and I buried my face into Minhyun’s shoulder. He might have not said anything much, but he continued to rub small circles on my back as I sobbed and told me softly that he was going to be okay. He hugged me tighter at some points with his chin resting on my shoulder.

“Jinyoung-ah…”

“H-hmm??”

“Look at me. Don’t worry, just look at me.”

And I broke free from Minhyun’s embrace, only to be met with puffy eyes from Minhyun too. As he had hugged me, he was breaking on the inside too, but he hid it well with another of his reassuring smiles. Placing a hand on my shoulder and massaging it gently, he said in a calm and gentle tone, “Jinyoung-ah. I’ll be okay. Coming to think of it, I’ll have some time before I need to get to the real aspect of the Visual Arts. It’s just going to be theory for a good 6-7 months before I apply some hands-on application to my projects. Only God will know how long I would need to get back to what I was before, but don’t worry now, you have school and you have a life too.”

“Don’t spend it worrying for me anymore because it would just make me worry about you more. Hyung will be fine and so will you. All I need from you is your support. No more guilt, no more sorrow. I just need you by my side. It’s going to be hard but stay strong for me okay? Promise?”

His hand was wrapped in bandages so there was no way we could do a pinky promise so he stretched his hand out and I did the same by holding onto his hand lightly as a sign of our promise. On the outside, I nodded and seemed acceptant about the fact that it could not be helped but on the inside, I was fearful, worried and regretful, because I might have just made a promise that I could not keep.

_I’m sorry hyung. I will do better next time._

The months passed and Minhyun went for his physiotherapy sessions, amidst his busy schedule, diligently and I would accompany him as a way to show my support for him. It was understandable because Mrs Hwang was hardly around and it was only right for me to be there for him throughout this difficult time.

As I observed him, it was evident that he was determined to overcome his handicap. He followed the physiotherapist’s instructions diligently and even brought it home to regain the much needed strength in his fingers. Of course, it was not always a bed of roses, given the fact that I have witnessed him dabbing his eyes with a tissue as he attempted to pick up a paintbrush and pour the paint into a palette. He would stare at a blank canvas, with drying paint in a white 5-colour palette and his back would face his door, which I happened to walk past a couple of times.

All the smiles that he wore when he was around me was a way of masking his pain. He had mentioned time and time again that it was never meant to be my fault and that everything would be okay. He would assure me not to worry about him and would simply request for accompaniment to the physiotherapist. However, who knew that with such positive energy came such darkness from within? It was clear that he was not truly happy anymore but he wanted to remain strong for my sake as well as Mrs Hwang’s. He wanted to show that he could still accomplish whatever he wanted to, creating miraculous art pieces tenaciously and sending them for art festivals and biennales. He knew it was not perfect and sniffles could be heard from his room when the house was of pin-drop silence after a competition.

Sometimes, I wanted to run in and give him a hug, telling him that it was okay to cry in front of me but I did not have the courage to. In fact, he probably did not want me to feel any form of negativity. I had to remain strong for him if he was going to get through his own stage of depression. When Mrs Hwang found out eventually, she was disappointed to say the least, but Minhyun promised that he would make it big, just for her and to prove that he was going to make it. Luckily, Mrs Hwang was a very forgiving and understanding woman, further showing her support for the both of us through the ways of art.

Things were starting to get better and there seemed to be the light at the end of the tunnel that all of us could finally look forward to. Minhyun had taken baby steps since the injury and was soon able to paint decently for subsequently longer periods of time. For me, I too got better in the art form, but took a liking to pottery crafting and designing and surpassing the love for the canvas sometimes. We had made Mrs Hwang proud and Minhyun was soon seeing some form of hope after winning awards of special mentions at the art fairs that he had participated for his impactful yet beautiful pieces of modern art.

When we were coming home from an art exhibition that we had participated in, Mrs Hwang had remained at home, saying that she did not feel well and had to get enough rest to rush off to the Paris Fashion Week held the following day. We were excited to bring the news that Minhyun had received an early internship offer for art management and I had followed Minhyun’s footsteps in attaining a special mention of my own. We celebrated first with Minhyun treating me to a barbecue feast with the prize money that he had won from a photography competition and I returned the favour by buying coffee and bingsoo for the both of us to share. It was not exorbitant like Minhyun’s but he did not mind at all, and only motioned for me to eat more of the bingsoo because I deserved it.

Little did we expect to find Mrs Hwang on the floor in front of her open luggage, unconscious with her eyes closed the moment we opened the door. She had probably been packing for her trip before that and either slipped, hitting her head, or fell unconscious all of a sudden.

“EOMMA!!!” Minhyun shouted, dropping everything and running to her side, “EOMMA!! Oh no… Eomma, wake up please?? We are home and we have news that we want to share with you. Please eomma, you need to wake up. We are home—”

Meanwhile, I stood there, frozen once again and drowned out the sounds of Minhyun’s voice as he spoke to his mother with fear written all over his face before shouting in a loud and urgent manner, “Jinyoung-ah, call the hospital please. Eomma is in danger and we need to help her.”

********

“I’m sorry Mr Hwang, but your mother has passed on. She suffered a stroke and internal brain haemorrhage, which probably caused her nausea and headache like you mentioned. We conducted an EEG brain scan and found a severe blood clot on the left side of her brain, which caused the blood vessels to rupture and this disrupted the flow of oxygen to her brain, which caused the deterioration of her organs. Once again, I’m sorry Mr Hwang but this was all we could do for your mother.”

And ever since then, Minhyun had fallen into a slump. Sure, he was still taking care of me, making sure that I ate all my meals, made sure that I did not get bullied anymore by getting me transferred out of my old school and kept in contact with me while he stayed at home to mourn the death of his mother. For me, only the Almighty knew whether my parents were still alive, but seeing the relationship between Minhyun and his mother, it was clear they were extremely close. He had already lost his father at the tender age of 16 and now he loses his mother, 6 years later.

It was extremely difficult for Minhyun and despite the inheritance that he had managed to attain, he only took a portion of it and kept the rest in the bank for the money to grow on its own. I asked him why he did so and he only replied that it would be what his mother wanted him to do and especially for my sake when it came to my education. He knew I wanted to pursue contemporary art, so why not start saving now?

Unfortunately, it took a toll on him eventually and one can say that he nearly lost his mind when he thought that things were not going to work out. Sometimes, I would be awakened by the sound of things being thrown onto the ground or the smashing of glass in the middle of the night. I thought it was my neighbour, until I realised that it was 2am and being a relatively peaceful neighbourhood, nobody was awake by then. It was soon followed by a shout of frustration and what sounded like a strangled cry.

“Why can’t I do anything right? I have my education to take care of, my bills for physiotherapy and Jinyoung?? No, you cannot blame him, you idiot. You need to stay strong for him. I’m his only hope and his only inspiration left. I need to take care of him, just like the good old days, but this time even better. Time to start looking for good recipes I suppose and a way to manage my finances better. C’mon Minhyun, you need to get your shit together. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay.”

And that was when I could not fall back asleep that night, tossing and turning about the words that Minhyun had said. I could tell it was of no harmful intent but it was hard on him. He had lost a lot of weight despite staying at home and going through a phase of simply eating instant foods as a way to get by. His paintings and artwork became more cynical, darker than usual and his write ups became a whole lot more depressing. I was not meant to look at his artwork or his reports or his writeups, but there were times when he was a little careless and left his work around the house.

There were paintings mostly associated with death, family, issues with perfection and societal problems, including one that struck me about the LGBTQ community. I could not find the write up for it, but that’s okay, a picture spoke a thousand words and all I knew was that he had sent it in as a project piece and came home with a genuine smile on his face when he had gotten an A for the module.

As this cycle continued, I started to see all the things that I had caused for the Hwang family. When I first came, I could sense that it was a family of peace, love, harmony and hope. It was as if they were the rays of sunshine that I had been searching for. They welcomed me so warmly and even treated me like their own son or younger brother. I had not known them beforehand and was simply able to catch the attention of Mrs Hwang. They fed and doted on me, even going out of their way to teach me the beauty of their profession and exposing me to a colourful and beautiful world.

Now. it transitioned into something that was the complete opposite. There was still care, but it just was not the same as before. Minhyun was caught up with his projects while I struggled to keep up with the school syllabus and I soon started to question my identity, purpose and realised that I have only been causing pain. I was too young to see it then, but as I grew up, I’ve seen and remembered how much they had sacrificed for me, a stranger who would probably not last his first winter out in the streets with nothing but a black duffle bag and a shelter using the roof of a convenience store.

Perhaps it was time to go. Leave this world, never come back. I have caused enough trouble for him. He deserves to be happy and it would sure do him good when the biggest burden on his shoulder is gone right? He can become successful without having to worry about finances and a depressed high school student anymore. And besides, we are not even related by blood. What matters then?

“Jinyoung-ah… Wake up.”

I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder and groaned, realising that I had fallen asleep again despite the fact that I had already woken up 2 hours ago and I was faced with Minhyun who wore a wide smile as usual.

“Aigoo Jinyoung-ah…” He would coo, before ruffling my hair as usual and putting my loose black strands away from my face, “Were you studying till late again?? I made your favourite food today so go wash up and I’ll prepare the rice and condiments okay. It’ll be a good day today, a feast for you and I. Let’s start our day right okay? Come on, get up already!”

He then took my arms, pulled me up and led me to the bathroom while I was still struggling to open my eyes fully to adjust to the sudden brightness of the room. I stumbled a few times but with Minhyun’s firm hold on me, it was impossible to actually fall.

“Baejinnieee you need to wake up already! Take a shower and freshen up okay!”

And he closed the door before I proceeded to lock it and all I did was stare at myself in the huge mirror for a few moments, before brushing my teeth, washing my face and taking the lukewarm shower that I needed to calm the nerves that soon started to surface internally when I thought of the plan to put an end to my misery and Minhyun’s especially.

_You are such a weakling Jinyoung. You can’t even make up your mind, be a man and tell Minhyun about your problems. You just want to run away and like they always say, “Kill the things that scare you the most.” right? So what if you are scared of bringing more pain to others and adding to the burden they already carry? Isn’t it suicide? Simple, but why is it so hard at the same time?_

Proceeding to switch the tap to an icy cold shower instead to silence the thoughts in my head before I caught a cold. I wanted to leave the world healthy and well physically and if I was going to end it today, I might as well plaster a smile on my face like I have never done before and convince myself that I have lived it to the best of my ability.

I picked up a simple grey t-shirt and coupled it with a black pair of skinny jeans before heading out to the dining table where Minhyun was already sitting on the opposite end of the table and when he said he prepared a feast, he was definitely not kidding. There were dishes like spicy octopus kimchi soup, grilled mackerel, beef short ribs, fried rice with an egg on top, homemade kimchi, anchovies, rolled seaweed and even more egg rolls filled with Spam. And that was not even half the dishes.

In total, there were 12 dishes sitting there, still steaming hot and 2 bowls of fried rice and I was surprised to say the least, before Minhyun mentioned that he had actually left for the market early in the morning to cook something like this for me.

“T-thank y-you hyung.” I stuttered and he motioned for me to sit down, before signalling to me that I was free to start with whatever I wanted to.

Soon, the house became one of a relatively comfortable silence, only filled with the noises of us relishing in Minhyun’s cooking, scraping for rice at the bottom of the rice bowl and the occasional slurps of soup. It was a scrumptious meal to say the least but the feeling was a little bittersweet, especially when Minhyun had asked, “So… what are you planning to do today?”

“Uhhh….”

_I want to end my misery._

“I’ll be staying at home for a while and then I’ll probably head out later to get some fresh air. It’s been a while and perhaps get more inspiration for more art pieces to beautify my profile?”

_Ha, like I would ever get to do that once this whole ordeal is over._

“That sounds good,” humming in agreement before continuing, “I need to go back to the university to prepare for my upcoming exhibition—”

_That’s nice._

“And I’ll be there until 7pm. I should be back by about 7.30pm and since it feels like a nice and good day today, let’s go out for something nice. We could really use some cold noodles from our favourite store in Gangnam and our favourite bubble tea and bingsoo from Apgujeong. Sounds fun right?”

“S-sure hyung. I will be home by then.”

“That’s good! Attire shall be smart casual for the night and perhaps we can do some shopping as well because it’s been long since we’ve hung out together and I miss those days really. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to spend much time with you so I’ll buy everything today okay?”

I chuckled at the statement and he did the same, before he continued to chew on his rice while humming one of his favourite songs with a huge smile on his face. He was clearly grinning from ear to ear and was definitely looking forward to the evening.

“Oh, and don’t forget the routine. Text me when you leave and if I don’t respond, please give me a call okay? I need to know that you’re going to be safe and okay on your own.”

“S-sure hyung. R-relax, I’ll definitely do that, don’t worry. I’ll be okay.”

_I’m sorry for lying hyung but I can only do so much. I might no longer be around anymore by the time you come home. Thank you for everything that you have done for me and it gives me comfort that you were the last person I would see before I choose to take my life and only then would I be able to leave this world in peace. All fled- all done, so lift me on the pyre; the feast is over, and the lamps expire._

_Goodbye hyung, for real this time and I will miss you dearly. I am sorry for all the pain that I have caused you and may you be happy even when I am gone. I have no choice anymore. I must end it because there’s no hope left and once I die, I promise, I’ll be at peace._  


	2. Of Colours, Hope and Post-it Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I am back with the second chapter of this Winkdeep fanfiction! ^^ Thank you to all for the positive comments and support, whether you are a reader or even a writer yourself. :') I am happy and ever grateful to note that you guys actually enjoy the story so far, as well as my writing style, which is something that I've never really heard of. :') You guys really make my day and I hope that all of you would enjoy this chapter too! ^^

_Can’t run from it,_

_Always a step behind._

_The worst is I’m trapped in my own mind._

 

_The end is near,_

_I can’t keep trying,_

_Stop asking if I’m okay because I’m tired of lying._

 

 _My fake smile is getting heavy,_  

_Eyes can’t hold back._

_My mind has won_

_Done living in the black._

 

_Going through the motions,_

_It’s almost time to quit._

_Most fear death,_

_But others pray for it._

And with that, I heaved out a sigh before putting down my pen, folding the letter in half and placing it in a random plain white envelope that had been lying around on the coffee table in the living room.

I thought that the feeling of fear would go away as my mental checklist decreased figuratively in length. I had said my goodbye in person, I had written my letter to explain my foolish actions and now, all I had to do was take a change of clothes (old ones preferably), step out of the house and walk until I was too tired to carry on anymore. Then, as a conclusion, find a building taller than 7 stories with an accessible rooftop, sit at the edge of it and finally, take the leap of faith.

Indeed, it was probably easier said than done. Was this how everyone felt before they died? Probably not. I was a coward anyway; a weakling which caused pain to the people who treated me the kindest; they fed me, clothed me, introduced me to their passions and even went so far as to fund my education for the near future. Sadly, my presence had also caused Minhyun’s relatively permanent handicap, both physically and mentally. He too suffered from depression, despite it getting better over time, but who knew when it would act up again?

I had already seen him on the verge of losing his mind once, because of me. Now, he spends his life worrying about my well-being and tries his best to spend time at home with me, at the expense of his social life. He was a popular kid, but it was also rumoured that he did not have many friends either because he never had the chance to spend much time with them outside of school. Furthermore, Minhyun was a homebody. He never seemed to mind, but I did wish that he would go out more, especially when he had a particular interest in photography.

_Then again, it was all because of me._

After dressing up in rather dull colours despite the summer season, it was time for me to head out of the house with my phone in hand and my headphones to drown out my fear and worries through music. It was the only way I found comfort and solace in times of difficulty by calming me down and clearing my thoughts, but for now, I only had one end goal in mind.

_You have been a weakling all your life and you will always be. You could never fight back for your own sake, or even approach others when they themselves were hurting behind closed doors. You feared the reaction that they would give you when they were blinded by their own emotions. When you cried, they forgave you and said that everything was okay; that it was not your fault but when they cried, you stood silent without even trying. They tried so hard for you, but they never got anything in return. Indeed, you could at least have been a grateful human being. Even when you are walking to your death, you are still a coward as the thought about ending your life scares you deep inside._

_You could never do anything right anyway, so why not make it right? Get rid of yourself for the greater good. Trust me, you’ll do yourself a huge favour and the rest of the world too. They don’t need a depressed high schooler to take care of. The world can’t afford that so just do it while you can. If you want to prove yourself one last time, do it once and do it right. No more hesitation, just take the leap and you will return to where you rightfully belong._

********

As I continued to walk, I began to lose track of my surroundings and honestly, I had no idea where I was going. At some points, it was like walking down a memory lane as I reminisced the best moments that I could ever have. When I recognised the areas and associated it with memories of my smiling self, it too would bring a smile on my face. It gave me a warm and comforting feeling, easing my nerves as I continued my way down the streets under the scorching sun.

_At least you experienced some good things here. Now, it’s time to end it all._

And that was when I realised that I was no longer in the busy, uptown neighbourhoods that I was used to. In fact, it looked more like a ghost town and the sound of any passing vehicle would probably have been from a street or two away. The colours here were dull and old, with paint peeling off the walls, revealing their original state of grey when they were first built. Similarly, the roads were also different; we had smooth tarmac roads but this place had plenty of potholes and one could easily sprain an ankle if one did not watch where he or she was going.

There seemed to be no sign of life here either with grass that looked like it had withered too, together with the rest of the city and even the trees had leaves falling off of them. Sure, it had a couple of shrubs, but even they too looked like they will not survive the scorching heat of summer in the months to come.

It was quiet, peaceful and all I could hear was the howling of the wind and the rustling of the drying leaves and I took in a breath of fresh air again as the cool summer breeze caressed my face, easing the tensions in my shoulders once again. To others, this neighbourhood was probably an eyesore to say the least, full of buildings that did not seem to be occupied at all and houses that were falling apart, held together with pieces of plywood and ready for demolishment. However, this place gave me an odd sense of calm because of its haunting beauty. In fact, it looked like it did have some reputation back in the old days, but now, it looked like nothing other than a huge pile of derelict land with tall buildings that looked like empty hollow shells, poorly maintained areas and very abandoned spaces.

I kept walking, trying to find a perfect place to finish what I had started but the fear in me grew when I realised that I was not alone. Occasionally, I would come face to face with some senior citizens who looked me at me strangely from head to toe with unforgiving and disgusted gazes. Sometimes, I would come into contact with what seemed like the local mafia; a group of burly young men with tattoos of dragons and Chinese phrases decorating almost every inch of their body. I was not sure whether they had caught me staring with wide eyes or not, but I could feel them probably wanting to burn a hole through my body with their intense and intimidating gaze.

Shivers ran down my spine at the thought and I quickened my pace as I walked further into the town before coming face to face with even more buildings than before, except they were built closer together and much taller, but they were also more dilapidated and it was also chilling enough to notice that they had high fences with barbed wires surrounding the perimeters of the buildings. Furthermore, some of them simply had an open entrance way for people to walk in and out of, while others had a huge metal sliding gate as an entrance way and only the Almighty would know why this part of town looked like that.

Sure, there were definitely people living here as seen by the clothes which hung across the buildings (yes, they were that close) but a certain line of clothes did catch my eye amongst all the torn and tattered rags. It consisted of 3 flannel shirts of 3 different colours and extremely bright coloured t-shirts; one of them being a certain mustard yellow and I figured that it was going to be the place where I was going to say goodbye and one could say that it was probably for the simplest of reasons. Firstly, it was high enough of approximately 15 to 16 stories tall, had no obstructions to break my fall, an accessible rooftop and a floor of dirty and huge concrete tiles. The other buildings had plenty of debris stored on the first floor consisting of old furniture and wooden planks, which was something that I preferred not to land on. With the huge concrete tiles alone, it was sure to be a quick and relatively painless death, or at least I would not get the chance to feel the impact either.

With that in mind, I made my way deeper into foreign territory and realised that these buildings did not come with lifts accessible to every floor and hence I resorted to taking the stairs instead. It was going to be a long way up and it would be slow, but it is the only way to get to where I wanted to go without attracting too much attention from this particular community.

Once again, I had lost all track of time while climbing, but I just kept trudging on despite the fact that I was clearly short of breath and was already swaying from side to side due to the fatigue. I took in deep breaths at a steady rhythm and pushed myself to keep climbing. I was almost there and as I saw the numbers increase, I already knew that there was no time to turn back now. I could only let out a breathy laugh before making my way up once again to the 16th floor and I did, opening the door to the rooftop with ease.

It was nice to be greeted with the unforgiving daylight once again and I closed my eyes initially before opening them up slowly just so that I could adjust to the blinding afternoon light. I looked around, realising that this was unlike the rooftops in an uptown neighbourhood. Back home, some of them (if not most) had installed fences to prevent people from killing themselves or high railings which were pretty difficult to climb over. Here, the ledge was low, barely reaching my waist and there was absolutely nothing to hold on to if one wanted to change their mind and slipped off unintentionally.

_I suppose it is only the brave and resolute who come here to kill themselves. There’s no one to stop them and no one who would probably care if you jumped down or not until you actually did and someone had actually found you lying on the ground 16 stories down. The city’s too noisy and it will cause too much commotion. Here? One could die quick, painless and quietly, so why not? It’s a better place indeed by tenfold. The deed is almost done. You just need to get over the fear and accept the fact that you have prevented anything from possibly getting better._

_Then again, how could it get any better from here? The damage has been done and it is clearly long lasting. It’s too late to fix it now. It really was._

And hence, I made my way to the ledge while leaning against it and looked down to the cold, hard and unforgiving ground below. This was the final step but why was it still so difficult? I should be happy. I should be relieved. I should feel… free, but it was the complete opposite that I felt. The closer I came to my death, the greater the burden I felt on my shoulder. My heart was heavy and I closed my eyes, steeling myself one last time before I was ready to climb the ledge and simply push myself over it.

“Here to end your life too?”

The voice made me jump out of my skin; my heart probably skipping a beat as I gasped in shock. I turned around to meet the voice, getting a whiplash in the process, only to be met with a boy that had auburn brown hair. He was shorter than me, had relatively chubby cheeks, doe eyes and heart shaped lips that were on the chapped side. Indeed, he was pretty cute face wise, but in terms of fashion, I figured that he was probably the owner of the colourful clothes that had caught my attention earlier. This time around, he was wearing a blindingly bright rainbow dyed long sleeved shirt and acid washed jeans, showing his white socks beneath and (thankfully) white sneakers.

In a similar fashion, he too looked at me, perhaps studying my facial features as well, before looking down to my dressing and furrowed his eyebrows in the process as his gaze shifted from my head to my toe.

“You are not from here. Nobody around here owns things like these. Judging by that alone, I’m surprised you have not been attacked, mauled or robbed yet, either by the occasional homeless, beggars or even the mafia themselves.”

The boy came closer now and for some reason, I stood rooted to the ground. To me, he might be smaller, but there was something about him that I could not put my finger to, but for now, he was quietly intimidating as he walked over and joined me soon afterwards, leaning over the ledge as well and enjoying whatever view there was of this dilapidated and run down neighbourhood.

“Relax, I’m just an 18-year-old boy who has absolutely nothing to do with the mafia or anybody I had just mentioned. I’m not here to attack you and besides, why would I even want to attack someone who has already thoughts of ending themselves? I live here, just down below on the 9th floor, and when I’m stressed, worried or just needed some fresh air without venturing too far, I would come here to relax and take it as an escape from the reality that I experience daily. It calms me; funny how it does not for everyone else.”

_Who is he and why is he telling me all this? If he was not here, I could have easily left this world. Why do you have to come now?_

“What’s your name anyway?”

_I asked you first!_

“I’m J-J-Jinyoung…”

_Not again and why the heck did you just answer such a “rude” stranger? Have you lost your mind?_

“And where do you come from? Like I said before, most of us here can probably differentiate you from a mile away. You are not one of us and you clearly don’t fit in into such environments. By the looks of it, you are decently rich, like all the people I have met up here.”

“I’m from… Sinchon-dong.”

With that reply, a loud gasp escaped from the other’s mouth and he turned to look at me with surprise written all over his face. His eyes were the size of golf balls and his jaw looked like it had dropped to the floor.

“To me, that is miles from here,” He emphasised, “So how the hell did you get here? Also, did you not watch where you were going and how the environment was changing around you? If I were to put it figuratively, you are a lamb recklessly making its way to a predator’s den. There are so many types here and all you need to do is take your pick; you could be the victim of a wolf, a fox or a lion. I suppose you have never stepped foot into anywhere near this area.”

“B-but… It looked pretty peaceful to me so… I probably n-never thought m-much about it then.”

He only turned away with that response and scoffed with his gaze returning to the view overlooking the building on the opposite as well as the road which I had come from, “I cannot believe that all of you are the same. All of you, for the past 7 years, have fallen for the same lie and believed the same facade of this neighbourhood’s hidden beauty. There’s a reason why the authorities don’t come here anymore because it’s way too dangerous here and we do have a reputation for policemen not being able to see the light of the following day.”

“If you were to ask me, this rooftop was probably one of the safest places in the neighbourhood. You’ve walked far enough and probably came to realise that a building with an accessible roof is so hard to find, and besides, these buildings are not tall either. Here, it’s the furthest away you can get from the hell down below. The best part? If you come up here at night, you get to see the city lights, including the Namsan Tower. It really is a beautiful sight.”

However, his tone became more solemn as he kept on talking. One thing I had learnt from this boy was that he can talk _a lot_ and was basically the opposite of me.

“Sadly, I never got the chance to share the beauty of it all with everyone who came here. They were probably more determined and less scared of death than you were and barely spent any time contemplating their lives. One moment they were by this very ledge and at the very next moment, they were gone, followed by a deafening sound in the pin drop silence as they hit the ground below.”

Truth be told, I had expected myself to leave right then and there but I found myself wanting to listen more to his rambling. It kept me distracted and for some reason, I had almost forgotten why I had made my way to this part of town. I’m not sure what was it about this stranger that I had just met, but there was something about him that I could not really put my finger to. It was just… nice to be with someone at this point in time.

“There’s just too much bloodshed here. I mean, my neighbour murdered his sister’s boyfriend 2 days ago and there was also a gang fight here last night. The police came and from what I could see, 4 of them were taken to the hospital and the rest were arrested and taken in by the police. Last week, 3 people jumped to their deaths from this very ledge. I bet you yourself would hear the alarm clock more than you hear the sirens of ambulances and police cars.”

I remained quiet the entire time, and he was probably wondering I was so passive throughout the situation. Firstly, I had nothing much to contribute, considering the fact that I clearly knew absolutely nothing about this place and its seemingly dark reputation. Secondly, I did not know how to respond either. Was I supposed to give my input? Was I supposed to nod my head? And lastly, it was probably out of fear; goose bumps started to appear on my arms as he spoke and the more he explained, the more I felt like I was going to turn into a chicken soon.

_I think the real question is, what is a boy at the age of 18 doing in such a place? Shouldn’t he be in the city schooling or at least hanging out with friends? What was he doing here in such a dangerous place? In fact, why would he still be here?_

“You are a little on the quiet side I see,” and that made me snap out of my reverie, “Perhaps you are nervous? Afraid? Scared?”

I turned to meet his gaze, but looked away again quickly. He had adorable, child-like features as a whole but if he wanted to be fierce, it was clear that he could be, especially with such an intense gaze. I nodded my head quickly to answer his question, still slightly afraid that he might actually do something to me.

“Don’t worry,” He said with an assuring tone, before putting a hand on my shoulder and massaging it lightly, “You’ll be perfectly safe here. And besides, you are the only person so far whom I would actually get the chance to share the beauty of the world with. It’s been 7 long years and who knows? You might just change your mind.”

Suddenly, he actually let out a small smile that lifted his cheeks, and it was actually one of the cutest things that I have ever seen, just because wanted to squeeze both his cheeks at that point in time. He looked away shortly after with a small laugh and cleared his throat as his face turned a tinge of pink.

And with that, we stopped talking for a while, just listening to the howling of the wind and the rustling of the dry leaves from the trees that lined the sidewalk. It was no longer awkward anymore really, and it became gradually comfortable. In fact, it was as if time had slowed down at that point and I actually felt a sense of calm for once; as if all was right in this world.

“By the way, did you happen to pass by all the post-it notes that I had put up by the staircase?”

_What post-its? And besides, the stairwell was so dark and for something so small, who would?_

I shook my head lightly and he only chuckled, “Hmm. I thought so.”

That was when he whipped out a little post it pad from his pocket as well as a ballpoint pen from the other, scribbling some words on the pad. He was incredibly focused as he wrote down some words and I tried to peek over, but he would only squint at me, signalling that I should not be peeking and would turn away to continue writing.

“Here you go.” He said, and kept the pen and the post-it pad away, before sticking a piece of it on my forehead playfully, giggling shortly after.

I was utterly confused to say the least, and removed it from my forehead where he had stuck it, reading the content that he had painstakingly prevented me from seeing what he wrote. It was short, but it was definitely impactful, surprising me a little, especially when it came from a clearly playful soul who, ironically, resided in such a dismal place.

“Suicide doesn’t take away the pain. It only passes it on to someone else.”

When I had read it, the memories, together with its various memories, came back like a tidal wave and I could only think of Minhyun at that point. He had already showered so much love on me and this came at the expense of his social life, and most importantly, his own personal happiness. He took it upon himself to become not only an “older brother” but a parental figure that I could keep looking up to as I grow up. He could have spent time with his friends; shopping, hanging out at the arcades or even the bars for a drink or two, but he was always at home whenever he was free, and if we went out, we went out together with him always by my side.

When I was diagnosed with depression by the psychologist, he was clearly upset, but only forced a smile and enveloped me in his warm embrace as I cried the moment I left the doctor’s office.

“We’ll get through this, Jinyoung-ah. I’ve been through this. Hyung knows how much it hurts so just cry, let it all out. Let’s open up to each other more alright? I promise, I’ll always be here for you.”

And he really did. Sure, he did cry on his own in his room with the doors closed when things got tough, while I sat outside his room to listen to his cries; too scared to go in and too afraid to try. Despite that, he would pick himself up and go as far as to take up extra jobs and send me to school like any parent would before he heads off for his own classes. When I was either found crying or just too emotional to do anything, Minhyun would sit by me in silence and place an arm around my shoulder so that I could rest in the crook of his neck. He would hug me shortly after, assuring me that everything was going to be okay.

Indeed, he was the one who had kept me together for so long as I fell apart and I could not help but get a little emotional at the thought of him going through another phase of depression because of me. He had invested everything in me, tangible or intangible, and I guess this stranger was right; it would only cause Minhyun more pain and heartbreak if I were to push myself off the ledge (without his intervention, or should I say interruption?).

“Based on whatever little knowledge I have on the world out there, I do know that we have the highest suicide rates in the world. Everyone goes to the ‘suicide bridge’ across the Hangang River to end their lives, but think about it, they have built barricades, installed an SOS hotline and security cameras with a suicide watchdog watching over the area 24/7. It makes it hard to kill yourself really, even if you wanted to. Here? There’s nobody to stop you, in fact, nobody cares here because it’s such a common thing and when you do come here at the right time, it’ll only make one feel like ending one’s life even more. The world is fucked up, we all know that, so I wanted to change it.”

“Call me selfish, but I was tired seeing people jump off the moment I come up to get some fresh air, or if I was lucky, I could have talked them out of it but they would only smile at me bitterly and take the leap of faith right after. Trust me, nobody wants to see that. I suppose… I could call you my first successful one?”

I chuckled a little at the comment before he put his hand on my shoulder once again, “Thank you really and I’m glad I was able to save your life in time. Nobody deserves to go through such things like that and I’m glad you’re smiling again to a certain extent. Come on, I suppose it’s time for you to go home. I’ll take you back.”

I froze at the statement, before waving my arms frantically and telling him that there was absolutely no need to, but he only became serious once again, “Trust me, I live in a world of fear and unpredictability here. You’ve gone through enough. People live in the shadows here, and you have not become a target yet, you’ll become one sooner or later if you walk out of here alone. It’s broad daylight, but like I said, you have absolutely no knowledge of this place so don’t push your luck yeah?”

With that, he stretched out his hand and prompted me to take it, before pulling me off the ledge that we had ended up sitting on and I stumbled a little, only to end up crashing into the stranger and giving him an accidental hug to break my fall.

“Woah woah… Hold your horses. I know you are excited and all…”

He pushed me away gently and that was when I realised that our faces were inches apart as I stared into his eyes. For some reason, when I looked into them, they clearly sparkled but there was something about them that did not sit so well with me. Nevertheless, it was definitely something I was intrigued by and I wanted to find out a little more about this 18-year-old stranger that I just met.

_This place was not meant for someone like him. How could he be so happy in a place which basically screams death? He’s seen so much for an 18-year-old and has been living here for 7 years? How does he even… survive for that matter?_

“Ahem…”

The 18-year-old boy cleared his throat and that was when I realised that I was still in his hold, and I got out of it in an extremely awkward manner. My cheeks started to feel warm and I found my gaze shifting back and forth, refusing to look into the eyes of the boy standing in front of me.

“Well… That was awkward.” He said, scratching the back of his neck and looking down at the floor as he processed what had just happened between the both of us, “Indeed, you are one interesting character but it’s no time for that now. Come on, take my hand and I’ll try my best to get you out of here safe, perhaps even have a look around to what’s beyond!”

And in that moment, he grabbed my hand firmly and pulled me along, but this was not before I heard a mutter under his breath.

_“And hopefully, I would get back on time today.”_

********

The stranger had led me through the neighbourhood pretty quickly and it was definitely not the route that I had taken. There were people from all around the town looking at the two of us intensely, but he did not bother to acknowledge it, walking faster instead as they tried to get our attention. If I had to describe it in one word, it would be the equivalent of a labyrinth.

We had brisk walked the entire town and everything went by in a blur and I was soon met with a sight that I was familiar with. There was the sight of vehicles, solid buildings and most importantly, people. Suddenly, I felt a sense of safety and security and I heaved a big sigh of relief. The boy, however, seemed to be in awe, as if he had never seen this part of town before and I could probably compare it to a child receiving his very first present or going to an amusement park for the first time.

“Woah… This place is actually pretty. I’ve never seen it this crowded before. I guess I’ve missed out quite a bit, huh?”

I looked at him in utter confusion as he continued to gawk at all the sights that he would definitely not see in such a rundown community. His eyes sparkled even more and his excitement levels were definitely increasing as he spoke about the place with so much enthusiasm and how much it had changed. To me, it was nothing new and I was beyond thankful that we made it out of there alive, but to him, it was as if this was a whole new world that he had never seen before.

Only the Almighty knows where the courage came from but I soon found myself asking, “H-hey… U-Uh… Would you like me to show you around??”

“I would love to!!!” He replied enthusiastically and I was a little surprised at the response, but a little uncomfortable at the same time because I had to admit, I barely knew this boy and it was weird actually seeing an 18-year-old boy so excited about the seemingly typical urban lifestyle that most teenagers his age were already living. In retrospect, he was probably equivalent to someone who came from the countryside and experiencing the city life for the first time.

“S-sorry. I’m just not used to… stepping out so often so… I get a little jumpy when I do have the chance to actually go out! Please, show me around! I’ll be glad to follow! From here on, you’ll lead the way.”

And he ended it off with a smile, but I did notice the slip up in his response; the sudden pause and the slight tinge of shakiness and fear in his voice. Perhaps it was because he was in a new environment? Who would know, and besides, who am I to judge? Hence, I decided to put those doubts and feelings away to the back of my mind, before taking his hand like he did with mine, and walked in the direction of the place I called “Home”.

********

When I had finally reached Sinchon, the sun was already setting by then and even I was surprised that I had actually walked that far of a distance. Checking the time on the pocket watch that I kept in my pocket at all times as a gift from Mrs Hwang, I was even more shocked to realise that I had been walking for a straight 2 hours and had actually happened to find my way back with the help of some form of photographic memory.

As for the “Post-it boy” (I had decided to call him that because only God knew what his name was), he continued to be amazed at all the sights around him while holding the drink that I had purchased for him in an adorable manner. His long sleeves covered most of his hands, revealing the tip of his fingers and he sipped the drink slowly, before marvelling at another sight and asked me what these places actually were and whether I had any personal connection to them.

From what I had learnt from the company of the “Post-it boy”, he was extremely inquisitive and was never afraid to voice out his thoughts and opinions. He questioned about the simplest things that could be easily found anywhere and everywhere (or at least most of it), which rendered judgemental stares and the occasional snarky comments that came in whispers about a boy who was probably sick in the mind because he never knew that something as simple as the streetlights to be that many in a neighbourhood like mine.

I would turn around to glare at them for being so undoubtedly insensitive, wishing I had the courage to call them out for their rudeness, which was totally uncalled for. I would take a deep breath to calm myself down while clenching my fist until my knuckles turned white. On the other hand, Jihoon seemed to heed them no attention, fulfilling his curiosity and asking me a ton of questions about my neighbourhood, my favourite place, my favourite food and even things as simple as where I could get new clothes at affordable prices.

“It must be nice to have all these in one place. I’ve never seen anything like it since I moved 7 years ago. In fact, I can’t even remember any of it. Even if I do, they are probably demolished or changed to something I cannot recognise. It’s nice that you can still keep in touch with who you really are here. I… miss that.”

I smiled at the response, in reciprocation to his, and continued to lead him along to a quieter part of town; to where I stayed together with Minhyun, and he followed along happily and walked with a skip in his steps.

“You guys have nice houses. I used to stay in one of these, but I can barely remember it anymore.” He would say as he looked right and left at the houses that lined the relatively wide street, as I led him closer and closer to my home.

“YAH BAE JINYOUNG!!!” A familiar voice resounded through the alley as I neared my home.

As expected, it was definitely a certain Hwang Minhyun who was heavily panting as he stood in front of the home. He was keeled over and held onto his knees as he caught his breath, before he got up and looked at me with a whole mix of emotions which I would probably never be able to describe. There was relief, worry, anger, sadness… You name it, he probably had all those emotions running through his mind at the sight of me.

Running up to me as if his life depended on it, he crashed into me and hugged me tightly as he held onto my head and buried my face into his shoulder. His eyes were puffy and swollen, probably from crying, and held onto me for the longest time, like how he always did. Sniffles could be heard again together with a soft whimper, and I too felt the tears threatening to cascade down my cheeks as well. After some time, I had also reciprocated his hug and placed my arms around his waist due to our height difference.

“Oh my god, do you know how worried I was?? You didn’t answer any of my calls or messages and what’s worse, I came home early and saw your suicide note lying on the dining table. When I finished going through its content, I had practically ran out of the house to find you. Only God knows why I did not even think of taking the bus but it was perhaps the fact that I might miss you if I did. I ran to the Hangang Park, including the most famous bridge for suicide and all the places that had a special connection to us when we were younger.”

Minhyun could no longer suppress his cries anymore and said in between sobs, “I thought I would find you, so that I could stop you and talk you out of it. I thought I could save you from the punishment that you had never deserved. I asked around whether they had seen you and probably seemed like a lunatic to some that I had asked and I got nothing. Hence, I came home and I wanted to call the police and the suicide watch dogs to look for you, whatever it took and all I saw was you showing up with-- Wait… Where did he go?”

I, too, was sobbing into Minhyun’s shirt with my tears staining his white and clean t-shirt as he explained how much he had done for me and wanted to do for me, but at the question, my emotions experienced a standstill and I broke out of the hug, turning around to see what Minhyun was talking about.

Little did I know that the “Post-it” boy who had followed me all the way from where he came from, “saved” me from suicide and never seemed to know how the world functioned, had actually disappeared and it was as if he was never there at all. I blinked once, twice, but he was gone like the wind, and boy, was he fast.

_I didn’t even get to know your name, but whoever you are, even if it’s just a figment of my imagination, thank you and I wish you a safe journey home too._


	3. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again and this time, I am back with the 3rd chapter of "When Two Worlds Collide" and it's our Emperor Hwang's 22nd birthday internationally! :) It's great to actually be able to publish this chapter today on such a significant day really. ^^ Furthermore, I just wanted to thank all my readers for your kind support and encouragement throughout the entire course of this story and I managed to talk to some of you guys as well. :') Indeed, I am very very grateful once again and I hope you guys enjoy this chapter just as much. ^^ 
> 
> P.S. From this point of the story onwards, it will toggle between the POVs of Jihoon and Jinyoung, but don't worry, I will definitely indicate it for easier readability. ^^

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

When I witnessed the reunion between Jinyoung and the exasperated young man that had called out for him, I could not help but feel a sense of warmth and comfort spread through my body, just by witnessing such a touching scene alone.

However, I soon came to realise that the man, who now embraced Jinyoung tightly, looked nothing like the latter. I was confused for a brief moment, wondering how the two of them could possibly be related. Perhaps they were cousins? Long time best friends or even neighbours? Whatever the case, it did not really matter much to me, as long as Jinyoung was now safe; it was clear that he was, especially when he reciprocated the hug that was given.  

Just by witnessing it, it took me back to the good old days of my childhood and the memories of my older brother. I could not remember very much but they were significant enough for me to retain whatever happy moments I could during my own personal trials and triumphs.

My older brother’s name was Sungwoon. He was a little shorter than me, despite being at least 3-4 years older, but to most people, we were clearly related. Both of us had the same hairstyle, body physique and inherited similar features in terms of the overall appearance. He looked more like the younger version of my father while I looked more like my mother. Nevertheless, we were extremely close and took care of each other through every circumstance.

When our mother ran away to search for a better life, he would take care of me by feeding me, sending me to school and helping me with whatever homework I had. He would also be one to check up with me from time to time, getting to know a little bit more about my life in order to understand my thoughts and feelings better.

Our father was hardly around, and even if he was, he was way too intoxicated to do anything around the house and often screamed profanities at Sungwoon and I, assuming that we would run away and leave him to rot in the depths of hell. Hence, Sungwoon took over by taking up the role to be a fatherly figure in my life, explaining time and time again that he did not want me to take on the habits of our father.

Things took a turn for the stranger when I would wake up to see Sungwoon next to me, which was perfectly normal as we shared the queen size bed, but he was always seen with a swollen face and sometimes, he would sport a blue black on his eye or bruises around his limbs when he was not wearing a long sleeve. Furthermore, there were also sights of cuts on his arms, which were already covered up with scabs of dry blood.

“Hyung, is everything alright? What happened to you?”

And I would get the same response over and over again. He would say that he was okay and it was not something that I should worry about. He would tell me to focus on school and do well, before telling me cynically that it would be the only way if I wanted to escape this “hell hole”. Hence, I pushed myself to work even harder than before, and ended up topping the level across various subjects such as Math, Chemistry and even Literature. When I showed the results to Sungwoon, he would smile with pride and ruffle my hair occasionally when he simply felt like it.

Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time when the truth surfaced. It was just a normal night and I had trouble sleeping once again. I turned to look at the clock and it said that it was 2.45am. Sighing, I thought to myself, “Well, thank goodness it’s a Saturday tomorrow.” I didn’t know why I could not sleep; was it the stress from school? Was it just an unsettling feeling? Or was it a sign that something bad was going to happen?

True enough, a loud noise caught my attention and I closed my eyes in fear. When I opened it up again, a bang was heard followed by sounds of someone groaning in pain. Initially, I thought that it was coming from one of my neighbours, but it made absolutely no sense because the sounds were too close for my own comfort. I pressed myself against the closed door and tried my best to open it, but it was locked, to my surprise. I wanted to open the door and wanted to see what the havoc was. What if there was a burglar in the house? What if someone is injured?

I turned on the lights to fumble around the room for the keys of the house in my state of tiredness, but I stopped myself short the moment I heard this.

“You good for nothing child and your stupid younger brother too. I know what the both of you are conspiring. When you get the chance, you guys will run away, leaving me to rot alone in this hell hole. Should I break both your legs then to stop you? Or should I just kill you?”

I was beyond surprised when I heard the voice, covering my mouth with my hands to soften the gasp. A few thuds ensued after that and I only heard the sounds of someone moaning and groaning in pain, as if he was struggling to speak as he let out a breathy, “Stop. Please. Why would we want to leave you?”

“LIAR. I KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN PLANNING. I HAVE SEEN IT WITH MY OWN EYES AND HEARD IT WITH MY OWN EARS.”

“In the midst of your drunken mind. Sure---”

And a couple more thuds were heard. I heard a couple more coughs before my father asked again, “Where is your bloody little brother? Do you want him to watch all of this?”

“N-no…” The voice replied, “Leave him alone. And besides, he has school tomorrow. If you want to hit him, please, hit me instead. I will heal anyway. He’s only a young boy and I will protect him if I must, even if it costs me. At least I can die trying to do something for someone who I truly care about.”

_But I have no school tomorrow… Wait, is that hyung??_

“HYUNG!!!” I shouted and soon, I heard footsteps coming towards the door and I ran to the corner of the room in fear, but the door was locked and all that my father could do was to make the doorknob twist and turn, to no avail. I then heard a shout of frustration and anger, before he tried again, only to be faced with the same result.

“PARK SUNGWOON, WHERE THE FuCK ARE THE KEYS?? IS YOUR BROTHER IN HERE?”

“No,” Sungwoon’s voice remained solid and resolute, despite my father’s anger, “It’s probably a figment of your imagination with your intoxicated and drugged out mind. Even if he is, I’m not giving you the keys and besides, I will never allow you to hurt Jihoon in any way.”

Silence ensued for the next few moments and it seemed like an eternity before I heard my father reply in a smug tone and I could almost imagine him snarling at Sungwoon, “Then I guess you would have to take it for him then? Alright.” and I heard another loud bang for the nth time that night, right after that.

********

As I recalled all the memories, which rendered a shiver down my spine and a tinge of fear, I proceeded to look at the time on my watch, before being met with sentiments of shock and horror.

It was already 7pm by the time we had reached Jinyoung’s house and I knew that if I wanted to reach home in time, I had to leave immediately and I did. Only the Almighty would know whether I would ever see him again, which I hoped to, but we lived so far apart from each other, which would only make it even more impossible. I sighed as the thought came to mind and realised that it was probably never going to be the case.

Like Jinyoung was in the afternoon, I was currently lost in the middle of Sinchon and tried my best to find my way home, just by going by photographic memory alone. Luckily, amidst all the judgement that surrounded me, I did manage to find some good-hearted people, who were more than happy to help and going to the extent to lend me some money for the bus trip home.

“A kid like you shouldn’t walk home, especially when it’s already so dark out and your neighbourhood isn’t very near either. Here, take this, it’s a guaranteed that you will get home safe.”

I thanked the stranger profusely and she only smiled at me before going on her way and I decided to take a seat in the bus stop as I waited. In fact, it was only now when I felt like I was a part of the society once again, integrating where I should rightfully belong as an 18-year-old teenager who would be on his way to finishing high school and having dreams for the future.

Jinyoung did not make it that obvious, but I knew that he was probably wondering why I did not know as much about the city. Sure, he has seen where I come from, but shouldn’t I be given the chance to get out there and explore for myself?

_Ha, I wished that._

When Sungwoon had left the house 4 years ago in the wee hours of the morning, he had left me a note explaining why he had left the house without taking me along. He had mentioned that it was already too much for him to take, and if the both of us wanted to succeed, one of us had to leave. Our father always took the money that Sungwoon had earned from the 2 part time jobs in order to feed the both of us alone on alcohol and drugs, which would definitely cost more than what Sungwoon could earn. Out of fear that he would come after me, there was no way that Sungwoon could hide the money. He could try, but it had become too many a time when he was knocking on death’s door.

Nevertheless, he did leave me a couple of promises and swore to abide them, which he definitely did to the best of his ability. Firstly, he mentioned that he would be sending some money over from whatever job he could find in the city centre and would deliver it every week at a specific time when he was sure that I could sneak out just to keep it for myself. There were times I had succeeded, but most times I didn’t. I was sorry towards Sungwoon, crying myself to sleep out of guilt that I had given in so easily to my father’s wrath. I would wake up with bruised ribs, sprained wrists and pieces of broken glass still etched into my back, but nothing could possibly hurt more than the feelings I carried on my shoulders every single day.

On the other hand, he had left another bigger promise. And that was to take me away when the time was right. He told me he would come back for me to take me away from the life that has already traumatised the both of us enough.

_“I’ll be back soon, Jihoon. I promise and I swear it to the Heavens. I’m not sure how long I’ll take, but I’ll be back. We’ve already been through hell so he can give his best shot all he wants but not only will we survive, we will win. Hang in there for me. Survive for now and wait for me.”_

Those were his parting words and I felt the tears gathering so I blinked furiously in order to keep myself together in this public bus stop. I boarded the bus and took a seat at the back and stared out the window to hide the tears that had already fallen away from the public eye.

_Stop crying. Like hyung always said, if you cry, you’ll lose the battle. I can’t lose the battle. I need to keep waiting. Hyung, you’ll be back for me, right?_

20 minutes in and I found myself dropped off at the nearest bus stop to the desolate neighbourhood which I had to call home. Without hesitating for a millisecond, I made a run for it, running all the way back to where I had come from. All I had to do was run straight and so I did, as fast as my legs could possibly carry me. In fact, I did not even notice the surroundings start to change around me. The houses became more sparsely distributed and the distance between each street lamp grew wider and wider.

Everything was just a blur to me, but that did not matter to me. I just need to get home. Fast.

I was already panting heavily at the entrance to my neighbourhood, but I pushed on, finding strength in my heart and mind in order to keep my physical body moving.

_C’mon Jihoon, you just need to get home before Dad does. You’ll be fine. The time’s ticking now so just keep running. You can sleep all you want once you reach home._

Before I knew it, I was already running up the staircase for 9 floors, skipping one step at a time and I finally found myself right outside the door. If my father was asleep, that would be a relief and better still, if he was not home. I forced the door open and it opened a little too loud for my liking due to the old and rusty hinges that held the wooden door together.

The house was relatively dark, and I didn’t remember turning on any lights when I left, but I was cautious and looked around as my vision adjusted to the darkness. When the coast was seemingly clear, I scurried to my bedroom but I was soon caught by an unknown force in the dark, pulling me back and throwing me across the floor.

I turned on the light switch quickly and was ready to defend myself if I needed to. At first, I thought that it might be a burglar of some sort (there were plenty out here) but little did I know that the man who now stood in front of me with his fists clenched until his veins on his arm showed and an empty beer bottle in his hand. He was clearly seething and soon, I started to notice the veins on his neck as well and I knew that I was going to be in deep trouble.

His eyes were hazed and it was clear that he had probably been taking some of those substances again, which gave him an undeniable amount of strength. Unfortunately, this was a battle I would lose and running all the way home definitely did not help in getting me to put some form of defence mechanism into place.

With that, he walked up to me slowly as I tried my best to back away slowly, but soon found myself pinned against the wall and a hand around my neck. The grip tightened and I let out a strangled cry as my father continued to stare daggers into my eyes. I was already choking by now and he did not budge as I tried my best to pry his fingers away from my neck.

He let me go eventually when black spots started to appear in my vision and shoved me to the wall again; my back screaming in pain from the impact as I tried to fight my way through the consciousness.

“I’m not done with you, Park Jihoon,” He slurred, “I’m just getting started.”

* * *

  **[Jinyoung’s POV]**

“Jinyoung-ah!! Dinner’s ready!” Minhyun called and I got up from the couch immediately, heading to the dining table faster than ever.

It would be a lie to say that I was not hungry, or famished for that matter, especially after all that had happened today. As I recalled the day’s happenings, it was weird for me to believe that I was still alive. I was so determined to end everything today; writing a suicide note, changing to my oldest and darkest clothing, going to a place that was probably the most dangerous and notorious neighbourhoods around and wanting to jump off one of the highest buildings in that area.

Little did I expect to be saved by the “Post-it boy” who showed up in the most colourful fashion, adding to the dullness of the surroundings and giving me hope that there was indeed more to live for. I was not sure how long we had spent on the roof because I had lost track of time, but as I thought about it, I was glad to have met him at the right time because he made me reconsider my options and just see the other side of life. In a nutshell, he had been the one to save me from my demise, and to remind me of this very day, he had also given me a post-it, which I had kept in my wallet the moment I reached home.

_So much for being grateful really, you don’t even know his name._

As I looked at the spread that Minhyun had prepared, it was almost equivalent to it being a feast at a 4-5 star restaurant that one could probably find in the art haven, Insadong. Indeed, he was extremely skilled at preparing such dishes and was one admirable hyung. He had prepared a kimchi pancake, a spicy Korean stew with pork slices, grilled mackerel and a green onion omelette. Furthermore, he had also prepared fried tofu and sweetened sweet potato with sesame seeds on top, which was one of the things that I had missed from home, together with a bowl of seasoned potatoes.

“Jinyoung-ah, here’s your rice!” Minhyun said, taking out two bowls as he wore his blue striped apron and placing one of them in front of me. He proceeded to put the bowl on his side of the table as well, before heading back to the kitchen to wash his hands and remove his apron for dinner.

He gave me a smile as he made his way to the seat opposite me and motioned for me to start eating, probably knowing that I was already drained out, and I did, wolfing down my rice and homemade kimchi at a rather fast rate. In retrospect, I probably looked like a person who has probably not eaten over the past 2 days and I was close to finishing my first bowl of rice in less than 5 minutes, together with the portion of the dishes that I had taken.

“Aigoo Jinyoung-ah… Slow down,” Minhyun chuckled, “There’s more in the rice cooker if you want and besides, you might choke and get indigestion later if you gobble your food like that.”

On hindsight, there was a reason why I probably ate at such a fast rate. I wasn’t simply hungry, but I was afraid. I was afraid of the fact that Minhyun might be angry or just disappointed in me as a whole. Ever since I moved in, he was always the one who encouraged me to keep fighting for what I wanted. It did not matter what people said, or what they perceived me to be, because all I had to do was show them how it can be done by someone who is seen as a minority in the competitive and image-driven society that we lived in. When I was terrible at art when I first started out, Minhyun never gave up teaching me and was incredibly patient when I seemed to be nearing a dead end.

_Never give up Jinyoung-ah. There’s no need to care about how they see you. Your art will speak for itself. If they don’t appreciate it, it’s their loss. However, there will be many others who will love your work, one of them being me, and trust me, you will go far in life; farther than you have ever been. Keep staying strong and persevere, but remember, always be humble. As you climb up, the more humble you should be. That is how you succeed._

“Jinyoung-ah… Are you crying again?”

And that brought me back to my senses, only to realise that I was sniffing as I ate my rice and my tears were falling like they could not be stopped. Until now, I never knew why I was so emotional, but there was no stopping it now and I put my bowl down, burying my face in my hands as I chewed the mouthful of rice that I had shoved into my mouth.

I felt the familiar hold once again, and found Minhyun grabbing a chair to sit in front of me, enveloping me in one of his firm hugs again as he held onto my head and stroked my hair while I cried. His arm that had snaked around my waist held me closer to him and he patted my head as a sign that it was okay to let everything out.

“Jinyoung-ah… Don’t cry anymore please. I know what it is you tried to do, and before you ask me how I feel, I will just tell you point blank that I was devastated when I read your note. I felt my heart drop and shatter and the world stopped running for a moment. But you’re here now, in front of me and most importantly, in my arms. You are not a figment of my wild imagination. It’s reality and that’s all that truly matters. I will not ask you anything about it and even if I do, I don’t expect answers from you either.”

“I-I’m sorry h-hyung. I really wasn’t thinking anymore and I forgot everything you told me when this happened. I forgot everything that you have done for me, how much you have sacrificed for me and most importantly, how much you have made me the person who I am today. I’m sorry that I almost gave up and how worried you must have been---”

“Shhh…” Minhyun hushed, and continued to stroke my hair back gently, “It’s okay. What matters more is that you are still here with me now and you know something? You are stronger than you think. Whether you got help or not from that kind stranger that brought you home, I’m still proud of you.”

“W-wait h-hyung, how did you know?” I asked, curiosity filling my mind at Minhyun’s acute sixth sense.

“I told you so, I’m just good at this kind of things. I suppose, when you do any form of art, you start to see a different perspective on life. You become more sensitive to the small little details about people and you can just feel this energy, you know?”

I chuckled at his comment before he retorted with an “Aish, it’s true!!! Hyung’s not kidding this time around.” and I laughed a little, before he joined it as well and broke out of the embrace.

“See Baejinnie, you look so much better when you smile. Hyung’s proud of how far you’ve come and I will never hate you. I understand what you’re going through, I really do, but when you are in trouble or need help, just give me a call and I promise, I’ll be there for you when you need me.”

“Oh, and before I forget,” He said, before fishing out for something in his pocket, “Here’s an invite for my art exhibition coming up this Sunday. I made it, Jinyoung-ah.”

When I heard the news, all my tears felt like it had disappeared all of a sudden and a completely new set of sentiments washed over me. There were feelings of happiness, hope and pride because I knew how hard Minhyun had worked in order to get an exhibition of his own. Sure, he had actually participated in plenty of exhibitions, but this time around, he had an entire studio to himself after getting noticed by a contemporary art lecturer who had just the right connections to give Minhyun such an opportunity.

Before I knew it, I was giving Minhyun a proud hug with my arms around his neck, muttering “Congratulations hyung.” over and over again. And that was when I heard the sniffles, which meant that he had also been crying as well. See, this was the thing about Minhyun. He never cried in front of me, and that was something that caused me to worry for him but, at the same time, admire him for being such a strong minded and determined individual.

We spent a few more moments in each other’s arms, before Minhyun loosened his grip and looked at me with a small smile. His eyes were slightly swollen, probably from crying and his nose was also red, confirming the fact that he did shed some emotion in front of me, which was extremely rare for his case. I was usually the one in tears before him as he always gave me the hugs that kept me together in times of need, but for this time around, it seemed like he needed the favour returned too.

“I’m… glad Jinyoung-ah, that you will still be here to witness my art exhibition. I cannot imagine what it would be like without you---”

“Nah,” I replied nonchalantly, “Hyung, you’ve always been one to succeed on your own and besides, you are one strong individual. You don’t really need me… Do you??”

Minhyun only chuckled and shook his head before placing a hand in mine and replied, “Of course I do. We’ve only had each other for the past 3 years now. I know it’s been pretty stressful to spend time with one another, but I do know that you have been supporting me throughout this entire journey. Really, if it were not for you, I don’t think I would have fought this hard for something that I really wanted. When you grow up, I hope you will do the same.”

With that, to my surprise, Minhyun did end up bringing the two of us out to spend some quality “sibling” time, treating me to a cup of hot chocolate and a cheesecake from one of the top bakeries in the area, which he loved very much (explaining why he bought the exact same thing) and we then ended up in our favourite spot of the Hangang Park. We laid on the luscious green grass, watching the stars blink and the clouds go by as the moonlight filtered through the leaves of the tree.

Once there, we just enjoyed each other’s company in comfortable silence, made small talk and laughed away as we relished in the sweetness of our desserts. It was just like the good old days again when Minhyun was not as busy as before in the first few months of his Yonsei days, and especially after his CSATs. Back then, it would not be an issue for us to head out every single day to just spend some quality time with one another as if we were actual siblings. Until now, it was always the same routine; he would bring me out, treat me to food and we would either window shop or find a place to sit down and relax, people watch or stargaze for that matter.

Now, we did the latter and I never knew how much I had actually missed the days when we could simply lay back and relax. It was something that Minhyun clearly missed as well and according to him, it was something that he remembered doing with his father when he was a child and this clearly showed how much this activity meant to him, both in his past and his present.

“Really Jinyoung-ah,” He said, breaking the silence for a bit, “Thank you for living.”

And with that, we left the park with one arm slung around each other’s shoulders and with smiles on our faces; genuine this time around. Also, we felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off both our shoulders. Indeed, I was actually quite thankful to be still alive at this point and for Minhyun, it was probably just escaping from the stresses of the Art scene for a while to reconnect with himself and the people that he cared about the most.

“I have to go back to school again tomorrow. What will you be doing then? For real this time.”

“Hmm… I’m not sure hyung, but rest assured, I will not be taking my life anytime sooner.”

“That’s good to know,” he replied, with some sarcasm hinting that I should not even be thinking about it in the first place, “And I was planning to organise a photography trip next week for the both of us. Are you free for a trip back to my hometown??”

“Of course hyung. And besides, I miss the seafood there, which was always fresh, reasonable and absolutely top-notch. Just let me know hyung, I’ll be there for sure.”

I ended with a smile and he ruffled my hair for the umpteenth time before telling me that he was going to turn in for the night already, encouraging me to do so as well.

_You’ve been through a lot Baejin-ah. You deserve the rest and don’t worry about hyung alright? I’ll be fine. All I need from you now is some support for my exhibition in 4 days time, even if it’s just you watching me paint in silence and doing your own things. Is that okay??_

And of course it was. As I looked up at the ceiling while my body settled into the soft mattress with my fluffy pillows, I could not help but smile to myself and see how far I had come in just a day alone. In the day, I was simply so determined to end it all and even went to the extremes of writing a note to say goodbye (which I now held in my hand) and now, all thanks to the Post-it boy, here I still was, waiting for another day to come and actually getting the chance to see the sunrise of tomorrow. The feeling was surreal, to say the least, but it was something that I would take pride in, even if it came with the help of a stranger.

Hence, I shredded my letter and placed the pieces into the envelope and sealed it before throwing it underneath the bed as a reminder of this very day. As expected, I was exhausted, both mentally and physically, from the day’s happenings and saw myself sleeping in a few quick minutes, taking at least 10 to 15 minutes to fall asleep in the comfort of my own bed and the refuge of my own home.

Strangely, I found myself tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. Then I realised that my heart was actually palpitating against my chest and a feeling of warmth washed over me once again as I thought back to the person whom I had so “affectionately” called the “Post-it boy”.

Who was he really? What was he like? Where is he truly from? What are his dreams? What are his aspirations? Does he like games? What are his hobbies? Which school did he go to? What are his interests? 

Frankly speaking, I would never know, unless I saw him again.

And that was something that I hoped to do in the many days to come. 


	4. Will I Ever See You Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, my chapters have been getting shorter and shorter, but nevertheless, here is a brand new chapter for this Winkdeep fanfiction! ^^ Once again, thank you for all the kind comments, support and encouragement. :) They really do make my day and I'm glad to have met so many avid readers and fans of this story. :) Hopefully, I will not disappoint you guys with this but I hope all of you would enjoy this chapter nevertheless! ^^ Thank you for reading! :) 
> 
> Side Characters:  
> \- Kang Seonha (OC, Minhyun's and Jinyoung's psychologist)  
> \- Justin Huang and Yoo Seonho (Minhyun's Art Major juniors in Yonsei University)

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

_ Hyung, why can’t you take me with you?  _

_ It’s not time yet, Jihoon-ah. I’m trying my best to support myself too and it’s not working out so well. I promise, didn’t I? And you know me, I will never fall back on my promises.  _

_ But I’m suffering here. I’m tired of this. I’m glad you left, I really am, but it is painful waking up with bruises and an aching body every single day. It pains me to see how Dad is killing himself with drugs and alcohol to alleviate his inner turmoil too, and that’s why I cannot stay here hyung. You need to take me with you.  _

_ Jihoon---  _

_ HYUNG, WATCH OUT!  _

And with that, I shot up from my slumber with a loud gasp, only to experience a sharp pain from the back of my head. I shut my eyes, holding onto the back of my neck to alleviate the pain and adjust to the sudden brightness that filled up the room. 

Once again, I found myself in the middle of the living room, and figured that I had probably passed out due to my father’s violence. He was already out for the day, which was something that I would thank the Almighty for, and that meant that I was back to an area of safety and certainty, which never existed when my father was home. 

I chuckled bitterly at the thought of the irony as my vision continued to fade and that caused me to see two of the same things at one point. Furthermore, the fact that the room appeared to be spinning only aggravated the ache, which now enveloped my entire being. I soon became conscious of the fact that my ribs were probably bruised, like it had always been, and considering the amount of time that I had been exposed to my father’s violence, I would not be surprised if they were actually fractured at a certain point. 

_ Indeed, isn’t a home supposed to be filled with love, care, concern and security? That’s what they always say; perhaps some of them lied, or simply have no idea what really goes on behind closed doors.  _

I continued to sit there in silence for a few moments, before I stood up and headed to the bathroom to freshen up and take a shower before getting through the rest of the day. It was the least I could do to start the day afresh and with an outlook that things will get better. Sungwoon will come for me soon, I was sure of it. And besides, I was already 18, on my way to reaching the point of adulthood. He never fell back on his promises, I could trust him… right? 

I clutched onto my stomach as I made my way to the bathroom, wincing in pain occasionally and nearly gagged at the smell which greeted my senses. I suppose it was expected with the poor conditions that I lived in, but it was clear that father had probably drunk too much, vomiting into the toilet bowl of the alcoholic contents in his system and inhaling his substances right after. It was a routine for him to do so; I had seen it with my own eyes. 

I washed my face first with cold water, before looking up at my own reflection, wondering why it stung to even wash my face and I soon discovered a cut at the corner of my eye, most probably from a beer bottle again, as well as the side of my head where a scab had now formed throughout the night. I had also noticed my swelling cheek on the right side of my face and my left eye looked like it was going to burst if it had taken one more hit. 

I lifted my shirt to assess more of my injuries, discovering my torso and chest to be decorated with purple and disgustingly yellow markings; even my hips had them too and I winced again as my fingers brushed against them. Luckily, if I wanted to get out, I had things prepared for me to hide the ugly side of things. 

After my shower, I sighed in relief when I discovered that I still had a red long sleeved shirt and sweatpants hanging across the clothing line. It was probably crazy to go out like that in the scorching heat, but I had absolutely no choice. It would attract too much attention, even with short sleeves, and I did not want that. There was already too much of that in our own neighbourhood, so what more the outside world? 

_ Oh, doesn’t my allowance from hyung come in today??  _

My stomach was growling by now and that was when I realised that I had not eaten anything for the past one and a half days after my own father found the last bit of my allowance for his own “needs” and left me with nothing for my own sustenance. Sometimes, it was clear that he wanted me dead, especially after he had seen two of the people he “loved the most” run away to seek something better beyond the confines of this derelict neighbourhood. All he did now was to drown his sorrows, killing himself slowly through drugs and alcohol, and taking out all his frustrations on me physically and verbally. 

That was my father’s life and sadly, there was nothing I could do about it. God knows if he was involved in anything illegal (which was highly likely) and there was never a day when I dared to sit down just to have a proper conversation with him. I lived in too much fear to do so, and he too was clearly not in the right state of mind to have any form of interaction with me either, unless I had a death wish. 

_ I wish I was dead really, but hyung’s coming for me and he told me to survive. I need to do that for him and just keep believing that he will actually come to save me. I cannot give up now because he has not given up on me.  _

Moments later, I found myself out of the house and running down the staircase to the only spot in the neighbourhood which Sungwoon and I declared a “safe haven”, which so happened to be at the side of the neighbourhood and hidden behind an abandoned house that was probably going to collapse in the years to come, if not months. 

It was a simple backyard, surrounded by a rickety wooden fence, and it faced the other side of town, which was also full of rundown buildings and lots of overgrowth brown from the heat and the fact that they were never well maintained. Sure, it did not sound picturesque or scenic, but it gave us a peace of mind with our backs facing the side that we came from. I never knew how to describe the feeling, but it was as if we could mentally escape from our own reality and imagine whether the grass was truly greener on the other side. 

To me, this was a place where Sungwoon and I truly forged our bond as brothers. Despite being related by blood, we were never extremely close when our family was still complete. When our own mother disappeared, he would come here often to calm himself and ponder about what was in store for us when our father slowly turned mad with grief (as if he was not already before). Did we have any hope? What could we achieve? Who wanted people from a family who couldn’t even keep themselves together? What more the children? 

I joined him eventually, sitting with him to see what he was looking at and when I was young, it was nothing special, causing me to look at my brother weirdly with knitted eyebrows. There was nothing to see here, so why would he even bother looking at a scenery which just screamed bleakness and hopelessness? 

However, I sat with him long enough to realise that this particular backyard faced East and it was a place to see one of the most beautiful sunsets, with the sun disappearing behind the buildings as time went by. In the city, one could only afford to see the sky get darker over time with a beautiful tinge of orange. Here? You get to witness the phenomenon for itself. 

_ “Hyung, is there a reason why you are always here? Apart from the beautiful sunset. Other than that, there’s… nothing.”  _

_ “No… Look Jihoon-ah. Hope is like the sun, which as we journey towards it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us. I know our future is a little bleak now, but this place just reminds me that we should always be hopeful. There will be a way for us. We’ll make it together, okay?”  _

I walked towards the bench, which still stood like an island in a barren wilderness, and looked underneath to reveal a white envelope stuck to the bottom of the bench and a smile crept up on my face as I reached out for it. I was cautious, so I scanned my surroundings, before opening the envelope gently. 

Once open, I discovered that there was 500,000 won worth of cash and a letter, which was considerably rare for my brother. Usually, he would write a note or two on the envelope itself, but I suppose that this was one of those days when he actually felt like writing a proper letter in a pen and on an A4-sized paper. 

_ Jihoon-ah,  _

_ It’s hyung here, coming back once again to deliver what I promised. I’m not sure whether this is enough for you to get by (and I hope it has been for the past few months), especially when it comes to living with a thief, also known as someone we call our father. Nevertheless, have you been okay? Have you been sleeping well, eating well, studying well… Wait… I just realised that you no longer have the money for school anymore. (i found out because I wanted to look for you when you were in school, and they told me that you have already dropped out)  _

_ It’s a pity really. I know you had big dreams of becoming an actor, an entertainer and perhaps even an idol at the Seoul School of Performing Arts and you did so well, even in subjects which were not required for those fields such as Chemistry and Mathematics. You thought hyung forgot, didn’t you? Trust me, I never forgot for a second about your dreams to become a superstar despite all these “useless subjects” and it still brings pain with the fact that I was unable to support you all the way.  _

_ I’m sorry I have not come to see you yet, Jihoon-ah, I really am. However, I still hope that you continue to hold onto the memories of the two of us close to your heart, especially in this little secret place of ours which we deemed to be our only safe haven. I mean, this was the place where we formed our true brotherly bond and I would not have had it any other way. Do you still remember? Because I do, and I hope you have not forgotten it either.  _

_ I wrote this here because I just wanted to assure you that I will come back for you. I know that it has been 3 long years for you, but I promise I will take you to a better place when the time is right. I still need time to ensure that I would be able to support the both of us or it will be nothing better than living in our old neighbourhood. You deserve better and hyung will make sure you get what you rightfully deserve.  _

_ I’m sorry that you had to go through so much as a child and be exposed to the ugly side of life at such a tender age, ruining your innocence and forcing you to grow up even faster to protect yourself. Hang in there Jihoon-ah. Survive for me and I will be back soon.  _

_ Yours truly,  _

_ Park Sungwoon _

Splat. Splat. Splat. 

Little did I know that I had started to cry, and my tears fell on the paper, staining it as I tried to collect myself then and there. Folding it neatly just like how it had arrived, I now held the envelope close to me and covered my eyes with my hands as the tears continued to fall. All I could let out now were choked up sobs, full of suppressed emotion when I had told myself again and again not to cry over such trivial things. 

_ There are so many other things to cry about. Funny isn’t it, how I can hold myself together with my own father but can’t when it’s a letter from my brother?  _

My left eye stung as I cried, but nothing could compare to the feeling of longing and ache in my chest at the thought of seeing Sungwoon for the first time in 3 years. 

_ Hyung, I will wait for you but please hurry. I don’t think I can take it any much longer.  _

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

Surprisingly, time seemed to be passing faster than I could ever comprehend and the thought of me wanting to end my life almost became a distant memory. Perhaps I was too busy trying to focus on other things to keep myself occupied while Minhyun was not around through pottery making and designing or busy because I had become Minhyun’s errand boy, especially when it came to buying groceries for dinner. 

Like Minhyun, I hated to go out in the past and you could call the both of us homebodies, but I never really minded anymore whenever he asked me to do anything anymore, even if it was as simple as going to the post office (which was nearer to Yonsei) to collect a package containing films and art materials he needed for his many upcoming projects. Of course, he still called me to make sure I was okay and reminded me that if I could not call him, I always had my psychologist to speak to. 

It was just another one of those days when I had finished another of my series of sessions with her. Like all the rest of the sessions I had attended in the past, it was an hour for a chat about anything under the sun and of course, an assessment of my progress to how I was dealing with depression. 

Her name was Kang Seonha (who also turned out to be the wife of our resident doctor, Kang Daniel) and she was also Minhyun’s psychologist as well. Hence, when I was diagnosed with depression shortly after, there was a sense of familiarity when she took on my case. And besides, I had always been accompanying Minhyun for all his sessions, and he did the same for me, so I did get to know Seonha way before I was officially diagnosed with depression. 

_ “How have you been, Jinyoung-ah? Have you been taking your medication when you really need to?”  _

_ “Uh….”  _

_ “Minhyunnie told me that you nearly ended your life a few days ago and he nearly broke down over the phone when he found out that you were not with me. Is everything… alright?”  _

_ “I suppose it was just another one of those moments again… I was scared to do it, I really was so I just kept walking until I reached a neighbourhood which I didn’t even know the name of, until now. I was already on the rooftop, ready to take the leap…”  _

_ “And? What happened after that?”  _

_ “Someone in the brightest of clothes saved me in a way… And I soon started to forget why I had even gone to such an area in the first place. It was almost immediate, you know? I did not linger anymore and I soon found myself gone from the place where I was supposed to disappear. Is it a sign??”  _

_ “Of course it is, I think you’re getting better. I’m sure of it and I am relieved that you have decided to keep fighting through the hardships. I’m sure Minhyun is extremely thankful too that he still has you around. He does treat you very fondly, Jinyoung-ah, and it will really hurt if he lost you like that. He has already lost both his parents and if he loses you too, whom he sees as his younger brother, it’s going to be extremely difficult for him.”  _

_ “I know… In fact, it seems like a distant memory now that I had actually gone as far as to write a relatively well thought out suicide note and a plan that I wanted to end my pain, misery and internal suffering that I experienced all alone. I’m… glad I’m still here too.”  _

_ “Yes Jinyoung, I’m glad you are too and I am extremely proud of you. I guess this brings our session to a close and I’ll check up on you in about 2 weeks time then? If you need anything, just give me a call alright?”  _

As I recalled the conversation, my lips felt like they had curved up into a smile subconsciously and if I looked up now, there were probably going to be many passer-bys with questioning gazes, wondering whether I was actually okay or not. Then again, they will never understand what it was like to be told that one can actually be cured of depression, especially after it has been such a long period. Gratitude washed over me like a tidal wave and I could not have asked for anything seemingly better at this point. 

However, there was probably another reason why I loved going out so much now, and it was most likely because of a certain “Post-it boy”. 

I knew where he came from, which was amazingly far from my home, but with the buses and the trains, I could reach his area in 20 minutes or less. Sometimes, I found myself trying to look for him in the area, to no avail. When I was asked to purchase something from the convenience store, I would go to the one nearest to the Post-it boy’s neighbourhood and even lingered around the area to see if I could find him. 

To be frank, I did not know why I did so and perhaps it was just me wanting to express my gratitude to him for “saving” my life. It was not the conventional way, but it sure did leave an impact on me when he distracted me from actually acting upon my true intention and now, here I was, safe and sound as I too prepared for Minhyun’s art exhibition as a supporter and as a visitor as well. In fact, I had actually wanted to find the post-it boy to invite him as well, but he was either nowhere to be found or was just someone who hid extremely well from the public eye. Especially since it was obvious that he hardly stepped out of his neighbourhood. 

_ All you have to look out for is colourful fashion, Jinyoung-ah. How hard is that??  _

Well, it was harder than I thought and it did lead to a few instances when I had mistaken strangers for the post-it boy, only to be greeted with unfamiliar faces, questioning gazes and expressions of annoyance. Of course, I had apologised profusely and took in a deep breath when I figured that I might not see him again. Like Minhyun always said, always be thankful for the people you meet because you might never get the chance to see them again. 

_ I’m sorry I never got to say thank you, but really, you saved my life at the right time. Now, I get to support hyung’s art exhibition that he has finally attained after working so hard for. True enough, if I didn’t meet you, I might have just prevented anything else from getting any better, especially for Minhyun’s sake. Nevertheless, I still hope to see you again soon.  _

And that was when I noticed all the posters of Minhyun’s exhibition, which hung by the lamp posts and pasted on the walls, smiling to myself with pride before going on my own way. 

However, I had also noticed someone on the opposite side of the road facing my direction, as if he was looking at me from the other side. He was wearing a bright red long sleeved top, despite the scorching heat, and a pair of black ripped jeans with cut outs at the knees and a pair of black sneakers, but I could not see his face clearly due to the fact that he had hidden with a baseball cap and a white face mask. 

I looked back at him for a while, but he seemed to be alarmed the very next moment and soon made a run for it, disappearing into the turning as he adjusted his cap and mask. Indeed, it was a strange encounter, but I shrugged it off anyway and made my way to the bus stop, occasionally turning to see if that strange figure would come back for whatever the reason. 

_ Oh dear, it’s already 3.30pm and Minhyun said he’ll be home by 4pm so I should really get going before he worries all over again.  _

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

_ “Witness the concept of ‘ _ **_Meraki’_ ** _ come to life  _ **_this Sunday_ ** _ at Yonsei’s very own Art Space, where we showcase our students’ very own works and projects to spark an interest for the Arts. The exhibition will open at  _ **_10am_ ** _ and it will be free for all to attend and admire the beautiful works of our artist,  _ **_Hwang Minhyun_ ** _. We hope to see you there!”  _

That was what the colourful poster pasted at the bus stop had read and as with all colourful things, it did not fail to catch my attention. Furthermore, they had also put a picture of the artist at the bottom corner of the poster and boy, was he beautiful. He had defined and high cheekbones, deep eyes, a sharp jawline and a sharp nose. Indeed, he was probably one who was loved by all the women that walk past this poster and the object of envy for all men. Sure, the picture was aesthetic enough to look at, especially with the monochrome filter, but the longer I stared at it, the more I had a feeling that he looked familiar. 

His name did not ring a bell to me (and besides, what would I ever know for someone who hardly ventures out of his “comfort” zone) but his facial features sure did and I had a strong feeling that I had seen him before. Unfortunately, I could not put my mind to it, no matter how hard I thought about it. 

“Oh?? Hyung has an exhibition??” 

“Woah!! That’s so cool! Why didn’t he tell us though?” 

“Does he really need to tell you everything, Seonho-ah? Then again, he is also one of the best artists that Yonsei has probably ever gotten, and I’m pretty sure that it’s gonna be a beautiful exhibition.” 

“Hyung, what does ‘Meraki’ mean though? It looks familiar…” 

“Yes, Seonho-ah. We have, and it’s a verb which means that he has done something with soul, creativity, or love; to put something of yourself into your work.” 

“Wow… Hey, shouldn’t we tell the rest to come down as well? They’re going to love it and I’m going to call hyung now to congratulate him!!” 

That was the conversation I heard from two young looking boys standing behind me and it was clear that they looked upon the artist fondly, or perhaps he was just well loved by many. I took a glance at the two of them and both of them were tall and lean, taking photos of the poster and typing excitedly on their phones with wide, proud smiles on their faces. 

Only the Almighty would know why I had started smiling as well and I took a mental note of the date and the time so that I could ponder whether I could sneak out for a little to check out this exhibition which everyone seemed to be fawning over (the two boys had attracted quite a crowd). 

And that was when I turned around, facing the opposite side of the road to spot a familiar figure. The figure was tall, seemingly shorter than the two boys at the bus stop, and skinny, but that was not the only thing that had caught my attention. 

It was his extremely small face and the exact same facial features that I had seen from a few days ago at the rooftop, except that there was a different vibe now. Back then, he practically screamed awkwardness, depression and sadness, but now, he was clearly freshened up; hopeful and confident in the light blue short-sleeved collared shirt, denim jeans and simple white sneakers. 

I blinked once to make sure that I was not imagining things and I was not. It was the same Jinyoung whom I had met a few days ago; the same one who was clearly adamant, yet hesitant, on ending his life at the rooftop of my apartment block, the same one whom I had walked home and reminded me of how Sungwoon and I used to be when he was reunited with his neighbour or close friend or brother or cousin… I truly had no clue. 

Little did I know that he was actually looking in my direction and I looked away immediately before brisk walking away, fixing my mask to ensure that it covered most of my face and adjusted my cap to cover even more of it. My injuries were way too much and I was just not in the right physical state to do so. 

Therefore, I made a run for it, turning a corner and catching my breath to ensure that he was no longer in my sight by turning around. I leaned against the wall and took in a deep breath, thankful that he might not have noticed me making a run for it, but I took an extra precaution by walking into the convenience store and hid amongst the shelves, pretending to look at the drinks and ice cream flavours available. 

Indeed, my prayers had been answered and it did not seem that he was coming this way, so I sheepishly made my way out of the store and peeped, noticing that he was still on the opposite side of the street, but his back was facing me as he made his way to the bus stop. 

_ I should’ve said hello instead of running away. I mean, he lives so far away and what are the odds that I’ll see him again anyway?  _

_ No Jihoon-ah, you can’t. It’s not the time to fuel his curiosity and besides, nobody wants to see their “life saver” all bruised up, bloodied and injured like that. You’ll see him again, don’t worry. If it’s meant to be, you will. If not, then so be it.  _


	5. Of Hopes, Dreams and New Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Indeed, this is probably one of the longest chapters I have written so far and I'm really not sure why. ^^;; Nevertheless, thank you everyone for reading and commenting because it really does make my day to know how much you guys love this story. :') I'm not sure whether I really do deserve the praise because omg you guys are so sweet. ;; Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this new chapter and I wish you all another happy reading experience! 
> 
> P.S. Congratulations to Wanna One for their very first win for "Energetic" on Show Champion and may they continue to walk the flowery road to success! :)

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

Like how it had been for the past few days, time seemed to pass by at the speed of light and it was soon the actual day of Minhyun’s art exhibition, which he proudly called “Meraki”, symbolising that all the art pieces that he was going to showcase had some essence coming from his own personal life.

Indeed, it was definitely something that I had looked forward to, especially when he tried so hard to prevent me from knowing what he had planned. Unlike the previous times, he had hidden all the related documents so well that it was impossible to find. And whenever I asked him for one hint, he would just smile and shake his head, telling me to simply look forward to the event.

On a strange note, I had become so busy that I lost track of the days due to the fact that I started to spend more time with Minhyun when I could. There were days when he would invite me to the studios at Yonsei University to accompany him as he thought about new pieces and perfected his existing pieces. Hence, while he worked on his art pieces, I was either allowed to do my own crafts using the materials that he bought or I could simply read a good book with a cup of iced milk coffee. Until now, I never knew why he would ask me to accompany him, apart from running the errands but then again, I had nothing else better to do, and so I did as he requested.

Perhaps he was worried about me and wanted to prevent me from acting upon my rash decisions, or I was thinking way too much about it and all he actually needed was company. It could get lonely in the studio at times without having anyone to talk to and if one really knew Minhyun well, he was a man of few words, but that did not mean that he did not need company. He was one of the strange ones (to me) who could concentrate in the noisiest environments, saying that it helped him to find inspiration through the little things. It was definitely better when he was with a friend or even a family member (like me) though, because he felt that he could easily express his ideas and ask for immediate feedback, and even suggestions on improving his art piece (even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with it).

I guess one could say that Minhyun was a humble perfectionist who always accepted the ideas of others to create a masterpiece of his own, which probably explained why he had earned the nickname, “Yonsei’s Visual Art Prodigy”. He did not only know a variety of what the Visual Arts had to offer, but he also knew his ways to achieve his desired grades, and that was something worth commending.

“Jinyounggie… Wake up… Rise and shine!” A soft, yet excited voice whispered while tapping my shoulder and shaking it gently.

I groaned and shifted in my sleep, waking up shortly after with messy hair and eyelids that felt as heavy as lead, threatening to close my eyes once again just so that I could fall back asleep and return to Dreamland, but I was greeted with a familiar face and smile, which exuded a different form of energy as compared to me.

“Hyung…” I croaked, clearing my throat to make my voice a little clearer, “It’s barely 5.30am. Why did you wake me up so early for? Doesn’t your exhibition start at 10am?”

He chuckled and ruffled my hair like he always did, before responding in his usual chirpy and optimistic manner, “Yep, but I’m bringing you to somewhere special today and it’s also something that you could _never_ wake up for. The weather is said to be great, so here’s your chance! Come on, wash up and we can head out in, let’s see… by 6am? The sun rises at 6.30am today.”

I sighed in dejection at the thought, but I found myself actually putting in the effort to drag myself out of bed and staggered towards the bathroom, getting a slight shock at my tired self but washed up anyway by taking a lukewarm shower and washing my face with the brand new facial wash that Minhyun had bought for me the other day, claiming that it would make my tiredness “disappear” by giving me a more radiant look. I chuckled at the thought and massaged my face gently, before washing the product away with water and patted my face dry with a face towel.

“Hyung, do I need to wear anything formal?”

“Nah,” He replied while walking back and forth from the living room to the kitchen, “Just wear whatever’s comfortable for you and bring your camera too! I would need some favours from you during the exhibition later!”

I nodded and closed the room door, before staring at the many clothes that I had in my closet. Truthfully, this was all Minhyun’s doing, especially when he was such a fashionista himself, and our closet ended up to hold a similar style but I never really wore any of his fancy clothing picks, especially the collared shirts. Hence, considering that we were most likely going to a park or somewhere extremely casual, I grabbed a simple plain white t-shirt, paired with a pink denim jacket and a pair of black ripped jeans with cut outs at the knees. I did not really bother styling my hair, but I did run my fingers through it to get rid of my bed head and was all ready to go (after I packed my bag of course).

Fifteen minutes in and my backpack was already slung comfortably on my shoulders with my camera slung across my body and I waited at the door for Minhyun to grab whatever he needed, before making our way to Minhyun’s chic, black and shiny Audi A5. I hopped into the passenger seat as Minhyun placed our things in the boot, adjusting some things in the process, and finally made his way to the driver’s seat to drive off to our destination.

We sat in the car in comfortable silence, but I could feel happiness, hope and excitement radiating from Minhyun’s presence, even when he was not exactly showing it on his face and I felt the energy too, feeling my heart being lifted up with the spirit of happy energy that Minhyun was always capable of spreading.

“Jinyoung-ah, if you’re tired, just sleep and I’ll wake you up when we’re there. It’s not exactly a long drive but hyung knows how much you need your beauty sleep. Sorry for interrupting your sleep today, I just wanted to show you something different for a change.” He said in his usual gentle tone as he waited for the traffic light to turn green before producing.

“Thanks hyung… But I think I’ll be okay.”

Unfortunately, I did end up falling into a deep sleep and I felt another one of the gentle taps on my shoulder again followed by a familiar breathy laugh.

“Jinyounggie, we’re here!! Come on, get your things! The sun’s rising soon!”

I groaned once again and yawned, struggling to open the door in the process and stumbled out, walking to the boot to grab my things. True enough, there were plenty of things in the boot and two of which I noticed probably contained tailored suits, placed neatly together with our Herschel Little America mid-volume backpacks.

“Hyung, what are those?”

“Ahh… It was supposed to be a surprise… But it’s okay,” He replied sheepishly while scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment, “I bought a suit for the both of us to wear to the event later and don’t worry, I know it’s not tailored, but I am confident that you will be able to fit it. I bought shoes too, but no time for that now! Come on, let’s go watch the sunrise for your first time in say… 17 years?”

********

To be frank, Minhyun was right when he said that I have never seen the sun rise for 17 years (which meant my entire life) and it was truly a spectacular sight to behold that I could not help myself but to use my camera to take pictures of it on an average of a photo for every 5 minutes that passed. Even with seconds, the sunrise already looked different.

Minhyun was indeed well prepared with a solid breakfast of his signature doshirak rice with Spam, scrambled eggs and homemade kimchi, a picnic mat, a Bluetooth speaker for calming music from his supposed inspirational playlist and finally, tumblers filled with his “secret” ice coffee recipe. Indeed, he never failed to impress me with how prepared he was for all types of situations and it got me thinking that whichever girl ended up with someone like him, he would be a gift from the Gods. If he could take care of someone like me and support me up till this point, taking care of anybody else would be a breeze for him.

“Baejin-ah, do you know why I brought you here?” He asked calmly, breaking the silence between us, which was soon replaced by the melodious chirping of the birds in the tree.

I stared at him for a while and shook my head. I expected it to be one of his philosophical reasons, but who knows? Considering all that has changed since that fateful day, who knew what else could be different?

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive- to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. There’s a sunrise and sunset every single day and they’re absolutely free, so don’t miss so many of them. These were the words my father always told me and the things that my mother remembered when I went through my own set of trials and difficult times. It helped me get through and this is who I have become today. I hope you’ll remember this Baejin-ah. I know it has been difficult, I really do, but keep hanging on. Things will get better alright?”

“T-thanks h-h-hyung… For everything that you have done for me. I know I’m not an easy person to handle, but thank you for always being by my side and for always making sure that I was okay, both physically and figuratively. I never really say this but if your mother did not find me, I would not have lasted longer than 3 months. It’s been 5 years now, and I’m grateful to have met you too and one day, I hope to become like you too.”

Once I was done, I cringed at my own statement, curling my fingers and shutting my eyes to get rid of the goosebumps that lined my arms and neck, but Minhyun pulled me closer towards him and placed an arm on my shoulder before stroking the back of my head like he always did.

“Aigoo… I never expected you to say those kinda things but hyung’s happy and grateful for you too. Without you, I don’t think I would have had much inspiration anyway and I would not have been able to make it this far with an art exhibition under my wing. You are one strong kid, Baejin-ah, and hyung’s proud of you and I think my parents are too.”

He said that while looking up at the sky with a small smile and asked, “Eomma, Appa, are you seeing this from above? Appa, you might not have been able to meet him, but his name is Jinyoung and he’s someone like a brother to me. He’s just like you; quiet, soft spoken and has a love for pottery and modern design. Aren’t you glad you would have a descendant? Eomma, I finally did it. I’m having my first exhibition today for my own artwork. It’s nothing huge really, but I made it.”

His eyes glistened in the sunlight for a while, but he blinked them back and took a sigh before continuing, “I wish you well and may you always be in good health, like I remembered the both of you to be.”

“Hyung…”

“Hmm??”

“Do you think my parents would be proud of me?” I asked cautiously, but Minhyun only nodded and said, “Of course, why wouldn’t they be? It’s been 5 years already and you’ve been on the news before titled as ‘Korea’s best-looking artist’ and besides, even if they are not, just know that I will always be your number 1 supporter.”

* * *

  **[Jihoon’s POV]**

“BRINGGGG!”

_That’s strange, since when did I ever set an alarm?_

I groaned as I woke up with my eyes still half closed and looked out the window, revealing that it was another bright and sunny day once again. The birds were chirping, with some of them landing on my windowsill and staring into my room, and there was a slight breeze when I opened it, freshening me up instantly with its gentle caress and freshness.

And that was when I noticed the date on my calendar, realising that it was already Sunday, also known as **THE** Sunday when “Meraki” was supposed to happen and I felt a sense of urgency rush through me instantly as I buzzed to the bathroom, ignoring the putrid smell for once and washed my face quickly before taking a quick shower. I proceeded to check my reflection as I dried myself and I was thankful that my bruises had already healed and the scabs that I once had also disappeared.

It was as if I was as good as new and starting the day on a good note. Smiling, I headed to my closet to see what I had and figured that if I was going to go to an art exhibition at such a prestigious university, I needed something that was a little more on the formal side if I wanted to blend in with the crowd that was most likely to go. If I remembered all those who gathered by Mr Hwang’s poster, all of them were clearly affluent and if I did not want to look as if I had come from the rural countryside.

Hence, I got hold of a plain white t-shirt and a striped long sleeved shirt which I hardly wore, unless it was too warm and a pair of black skinny jeans without cutouts this time around. To end it off, I grabbed some of the cash that Sungwoon had given me by sliding it into my pocket and completed my outfit with my favourite pair of white sneakers once again.

I took a stroll down to the bus stop closest to the area I came from but there was a slight problem because I had no idea how to get to the exhibition. All I knew was that it was called the “Yonsei Art Space”, which meant that it had to be near or at least within the university campus itself. Furthermore, it did not help that I had not taken the bus often and for an exceptionally long time. I tried to be independent, looking first at the directory, only to get even more lost and confused by all the names of places that I had never heard of.

And that was when I took notice of the familiar students that I had seen yesterday, waiting by the bus stop and looking like they were dressed to the nines, as compared to me. I felt awkward to ask, especially when I looked down at my own outfit, but if I did not, who will? Hence, I mustered the courage and walked up to them, asking with slight embarrassment written all over my face, “Hi… May I know how to get to the Yonsei Art Space?”

“Oh? Are you going to Minhyun hyung’s art exhibition as well?”

I nodded and they reciprocated the gesture before replying, “That’s great! We can go together then! My name’s Seonho and this is Justin! How about you? What’s your name?”

“Ah… Uh… My name’s Jihoon. Nice to meet you as well.”

And they took my hand, shaking it firmly with warm smiles on their faces.

“Our bus is here, Jihoon-sshi! Come on! It’s going to be a 15-20 minute ride and in the meantime, let’s be friends, shall we?”

********

“And here we are! Welcome to the Yonsei Art Space!” Seonho said in a very dramatic fashion with his arms stretched out, “This is where the true works of art are displayed and the fact that Minhyun hyung has an exhibition, it is really impressive. In fact, it should have been sooner.”

The building was grand indeed and one could clearly tell that it relied very much on natural lighting and the fact that a change could very much affect the effect and vibe of the space inside. It was shaped almost like a diamond, with windows stretching from the floor to the ceiling in an intricate, detailed and well-planned design. To me, it looked incredibly fragile, as if someone could well take a baseball bat, knock at its 4 corners and it will collapse immediately, but it also looked strong and capable for some strange reason as well.

_I suppose it’s an art itself and it probably represents the art inside as well. It might look fragile, but it is strong with not only its quality, but the meaning, symbolism and its associated history or story._

I began to walk up the relatively steep flight of stairs together with Justin and Seonho, before we separated at the top with them saying that they had gifts to gift their “beloved” Minhyun hyung as a surprise and to congratulate him for his achievement.

“You’ll be okay right? This place isn’t huge and besides, you can probably spot us from afar! Welcome to Yonsei anyway and have a good day ahead!”

I waved them off before continuing to oggle at the building and turning around to admire the view that Yonsei had to offer. It was truly a huge University, and it was clearly one of the most prestigious universities, just by the looks of it. All the buildings had beautiful architecture, like the “Art Space” behind me and it also had rich greenery, both in terms of the flora and fauna and the many little patches of fields that they had.

_If I did not drop out of school, perhaps I could have aimed for a place like this._

I shook off the thought anyway, and turned back around, walking straight to the gallery which was already starting to fill up with people from all walks of life. They were mostly girls, but it was not hard to see why, especially when the artist himself was good looking, popular and well-loved by many, or at least that is what I heard from all the excited chatter taking place in the gallery.

Just when I thought that the art gallery was already stunning enough to look at, the “true art” inside was even more spectacular than what I could have ever imagined.

The entire area had been split up into 3 sections, consisting mainly of oil and watercolour paintings, pottery and photography, which was a truly magnificent sight, and it was even more shocking to find out that the artist was actually a student who was finishing his 2nd year and had been given the opportunity to showcase his talent, which was also extremely rare in the case of Yonsei (as far as I had heard).

My eyes were probably the size of golf balls and my mouth was also wide open in shock as I admired the wide array of artwork that Mr Hwang had put up on display and it was clear that he really had the skill and the eye for such a subject. There were so many different styles and it was clear that each piece was unique; full of originality and creativity, together with the deft hands used to create a masterpiece.

I continued to walk around the gallery, spending some time to read the write-ups of the work, before taking a step or two back to look at the work with the idea planted in my mind and I found myself rekindling my passion for the Arts, despite the fact that I had spent about a year and a half off it after dropping out of the Seoul School of Performing Arts.

It was a place where I wanted to either pursue my passion for the Performing Arts. I was terrible at drawing, or anything that required the use of my hands really, and hence settled for Theatre and Modern Dance instead as the two art forms that I wanted to take up as a special subject in the CSATs. However, due to very unfortunate circumstances, I could no longer sustain myself financially, or keep up with the stress of my own personal life outside of school, and hence, I had no choice but to drop out of it with a heavy heart.

One had no idea how much I cried that day and I went back home immediately and all I did was to go to my room, close the door behind me and buried myself in the comforter. It was as if the world had crashed down on me and I had nothing else to hope for with my currently shattered dreams. I did not know how I had managed to get over it and accept the fact that I was going to have to switch my priorities and hopes, but I did eventually, despite the arduous process and countless hours of pondering about what I was going to do.

I guess it was true then, that there were always people who had to switch from achieving their dreams to surviving to see a new day.

_And that was all this painting was about._

It was a painting of a boy walking through a tunnel as his memories lined the walls and it was clear that he started off as someone who had big dreams, but there were some obstacles along the way which prevented him from doing so and here he was, uncertain as to whether he would ever reach the other side, which was also painted but absolutely minute in size at the side of the picture.

I was lost in my own thoughts for a brief moment, and did not realise that I had been staring at the same painting for more than 10 minutes in awe, until I heard a voice say in a gentle and calm manner, “Beautiful painting, isn’t it?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to face the voice, only to realise that it had been someone that I had hoped to meet once again.

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

When Minhyun had told me that he would send me for a makeover, I did not expect to be putting on some light makeup and dyeing my hair at the salon that Minhyun had brought me to, and I was surprised, to say the least, at my new look that I was clearly not used to. Then again, I had fallen asleep in the salon as I had my makeover, so there was no way that I could have a say anyway.

For my appearance, they had dyed my hair to a lighter brown colour than what it was before and gave it some form of treatment to make it more smooth and shiny. Furthermore, they had also parted my hair slightly and even though it looked like a mop at its initial stage, the hairdressers managed to style it for me to actually look presentable or “much more handsome” according to Minhyun. Next, they proceeded to apply some light foundation on my face as well as a concealer to hide my tiredness, aiding me to look brighter and way more confident. Minhyun did the same by dyeing his hair a slightly darker colour which was closer to black and our hairstyle was similar as well, except that his parting was very much less obvious.

As for the outfits that he had chosen for me, he chose a cream coloured suit with a thin-striped blazer and a pair of off white pants, paired with a white undershirt, and when I showed it to him, Minhyun was extremely delighted and relieved to know that the suit did fit me, hugging my body at all the right places. I must say that despite its colour, it actually accentuated my lean figure more and my hair colour suited the outfit, to my own relief as well. For Minhyun, he wore something similar (with stripes) but it was the fact that his undershirt was white with black stripes, paired with a chic and sheen black blazer with black pants. Finally, for the shoes, he got matching ones for the both of us, except mine was white and his was black, but it was a great choice nevertheless.

_Indeed, always trust the art student for fashion tips._

“You look great Jinyoung-ah! By the way, I need some pictures from today to put in the school’s magazine, and perhaps to send it in for the daily paper as well! Do you mind?”

“Sure hyung.” I replied with a smile, and he gave me a pat on my back before putting an arm around my shoulder with a wide and grateful smile on his face.

When we reached the area, Minhyun had already left to meet all the friends and juniors that had came to support him, but not without ensuring that my phone would always be turned on with the softest, yet audible, ringtone. He had left me to my own devices, and also mentioned that he would only need me when he would make his speeches at 1pm and 4pm respectively, but I took the time to snap some candid shots of him smiling and speaking to the various guests that came to greet him.

Once I felt like I had taken sufficient photos for now, I went to look around the exhibition to see what Minhyun had been trying so hard to hide from me all this while and it was quite a sight. Taking a quick glance, I could tell that there were many aspects of his life infused in the artwork such as his struggles with depression and even themes which suggested that he faced a point in time when all hope was lost. Additionally, I had also noticed many controversial topics highlighted such as aspects of the LGBTQ community (because I was one of them) and some of the works had surrounded around my life as well, to my surprise.

Despite all the gloominess that I had noticed initially, there were also brighter pieces as well when he had finally found his calling, his peace of mind and especially hope with new beginnings. It was an emotional sight to behold and a wave of emotions felt like it had washed over me, simply because I had been there at almost every point in his life.

I snapped a couple more pictures of the artworks itself before taking notice of a figure who had been standing in front of the painting, titled “Endless uncertainty”, for a good 10 minutes, which was absolutely strange unless the visitor was genuinely interested in Art.

God knows what made me do it, but I found myself making my way to the painting as well; either I was curious about the figure (which looked extremely familiar) or the painting, because I had never seen it before. Hence, I ended up staring at the painting together with the stranger, after I had finished reading the write up of course.

“Beautiful painting, isn’t it?”

_Oh my goodness, why did I even say anything? The person’s gonna feel so awkward now. Good job Jinyoung. GOOD JOB._

“Y-yeah, i-it is…” The person replied and that piqued my interest even further, which prompted me to look at the kind stranger who would even bother to reply my mindless statement.

“O-Oh!!! It’s you! The post-it boy!” I responded in surprise, only to realise that I might have come across as a little too excited in such a grand place like this.

He chuckled for a bit and scratched the back of his neck, before saying, “And it’s you, Jinyoung, the boy I saved, or should I say the Rooftop boy?”

“How did you know my name??”

“You told me. How else would I have known then?”

But he said it without spite or discomfort, judging by the small smile that he had when he answered and perhaps a little surprised that I had actually forgotten.

“Oh… I didn’t catch your name though… And I just wanted to say… uh… thank you for saving my life. It was a pity that I never knew your name so--”

“I’m Jihoon.” He said, and stretched his hand out to invite me for a handshake and I took his hand to reciprocate the gesture.

“So… What are you here for?? What made you come?” I asked, considering the fact that Jihoon had clearly not stepped out of his neighbourhood for a while, and only by divine intervention would he actually find his way to a place as far as Yonsei.

“Uhh… I saw the advertisement, and I thought that it would be cool to go out once in a while and besides, I used to be an Arts student too, but I majored in Acting and Modern Dance instead of the Visuals and Contemporary Art like this.”

“Oh??? Which school are you from then?”

“I was from the Seoul School Of Performing Arts---”

“Jinyoung-ah!! How’s the exhibition coming along so far? I guess it’s worth keeping it a secret, huh? And isn’t this the boy who brought you home the other day?”

I looked from Minhyun to Jihoon, and it was clear that Jihoon was also surprised that Minhyun could actually recognise him, but bowed politely once he had overcome the shock and the former chuckled a little at Jihoon’s awkwardness.

“I’m Minhyun, Jinyoung’s hyung and this is Yoojung, my project partner. Thank you for coming and I finally get to thank you in person for saving Jinyoung’s life.” He said with a bright smile and Jihoon smiled sheepishly before muttering a soft “It’s nothing, sir. I simply talked him out of it. Nothing too special.”

“Goodness, you’re exactly like Jinyoung. I have to rush off now and prepare for my speech later, so I’ll leave you under the care of Jinyoung alright? Don’t worry, he’s a nice boy and he’ll take care of you well. See you!”

And Minhyun took his leave, but not without waving enthusiastically and I tried my best to reciprocate the gesture with a wide grin.

“I hope that was not too awkward for you…” I said through my teeth, grimacing at Jihoon, but he only smiled and shook his head.

“Your hyung’s really sweet. It’s clear that he cares a lot about you and I hope you’ve been well? I mean, you already look much better today than what I remember you from the day you wanted to take your life and just wanted to say that you look… good?”

And with that, he puffed his cheeks and let out a huff, probably questioning why he said that as his fingers curled and with his shoulders raised. Now, he looked like he wished the ground would swallow him up and he turned away, avoiding my gaze and looked everywhere else but me.

“S-sorry…” He muttered, “If I made it awkward.”

“Nah…” I said, but I did feel my cheeks and ears heat up, when he said that but tried my best to keep the feelings to myself as my heart palpitated against my chest, “It’s fine. Come, let me show you around! I’ll take care of you today, just like what Minhyun had told me to do!”

And I grabbed his hand, almost instinctively, bringing him to what I would call, my favourite part of the gallery.

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

“Finally, I would like to thank my younger brother, Jinyoung, for being my source of support and inspiration throughout this entire journey. He’s over there! Please give him a round of applause as well!”

And as if it was all planned, everyone rose from their seats and faced Jinyoung, who had no idea what to do with the sudden attention. He put down his camera and bowed in all directions with a bashful smile and waved a little as the crowd gave their applause.

_Cute._

“Thank you everyone for giving me this opportunity, Yonsei University, my professors and most importantly, friends, family and all of you today who have come all the way to witness ‘Meraki’. May all of you have a pleasant day ahead and I hope to see you again soon!”

Minhyun too gave a bow to the crowd and once again, the crowd applauded, with Seonho giving the loudest claps and cheers, which somehow prompted the people around him as well. The former giggled at the sight with his eyes shaped like little crescent moons, and made sure to bow in every direction that the audience were in and gave a little wave while Jinyoung returned to his duty of being the ever so hardworking cameraman.

There was just something about him that seemed charming and he sure did manage to grab my attention when he furrowed his eyebrows to ensure that the camera was in the correct setting, snapping more pictures right after and repeated the process to get all sorts of different shots. He was clearly passionate in his craft and seemed to enjoy the job, despite the fact that he looked more like a V.I.P than a cameraman.

His aura was mysterious, but intriguing and he was ethereal almost, as the sunlight shone behind him as it filtered through the glass panels, and I began to notice the little things about him.

Firstly, he had a small head and a tiny face to match (perhaps no bigger than those huge colourful lollipops), relatively huge eyes that drooped at the ends with slightly puffy eye bags, well-defined cheekbones, a long nose with a very obvious nose bridge and his lips were neither thin nor thick. To me, they were just perfect and it did fit him as a person because it gave him a rather adorable look, despite the fact that he looked absolutely dashing right now.

“Jihoon hyung, do you want to try?”

And I snapped out of my daydreaming immediately, blushing at the thought that I had probably been staring at him for the past 5 minutes just admiring his facial features.

But there he was, taking the camera off his neck and handing it over to me and I took it, feeling extremely unsure, but gripped it tight because it was clearly expensive and something that I clearly could not afford. Hence, I slung it around my neck the moment I took it but was unsure what to do with it anyway.

“Here, when you want to take a picture, you just look into this hole and press this button right over here. Give it a shot! I think you’ll like it, especially when I assume that you’ve been staring at my camera for a while.”

_Oh crap, he noticed._

And so I did, following his instructions and guidelines, together with him holding onto my hands to adjust my own properly. I had no idea what I was taking a picture of, but I reviewed it anyway and I turned to look at Jinyoung, who only had a wide smile on his face.

“Oooh. That’s not bad! Try taking a few more and perhaps some of the exhibits as well, provided you don’t knock them down in the process.”

I rolled my eyes at his statement and he flashed another smile again.

“I was just kidding. Come, since you seem interested, I don’t think I would mind teaching you some stuff anyway.”

_Wow. And this is the boy who wanted to end his life 4-5 days ago? How is he so bright and bubbly today?_

He brought me around the gallery and taught me how to take all the different types of shots that he knew, including depth of field shots, portrait shots, landscape shots and even shots which gave the same subject a completely different perspective and truth be told, it was not an easy job being a photographer. My legs had started to hurt from all the kneeling as well as my arms due to the fact that I had to angle it correctly in order to get the perfect shot.

_And this proves why I never did any form of Art that required me to use my hands such as painting, designing, drawing and even photography, which Jinyoung and Minhyun were clearly good at._

“So you’re a dancer and an actor?” He asked, curiosity laced in his voice as I stood up after I had taken the final shot.

“Y-yeah… Or at least I used to be.”

“I see… Then why did you stop? I mean, from how long you stared at the paintings, it was clear that something was on your mind, and it was not just because you actually had an interest in the Arts.”

“Uh… I stopped because of some unfortunate circumstances.”

_I’m sorry I cannot tell you everything. Not yet._

“I see… Well, I hope you’ve rekindled some love for the Arts here and I’ve always wanted to learn how to dance.”

_I could teach you if you want, with whatever I could remember._

“How was it Jinyoung-ah? Was it alright?” A familiar voice was heard and I turned around, only to be greeted with Minhyun once again. Obviously, I bowed and realised shortly after that I still had Jinyoung’s camera around my neck.

He looked at the both of us from Jinyoung to me and vice versa, before asking in a curious tone, “Oh, was he giving you some photography lessons?”

“Y-yes sir… I was just taking some pictures of your exhibit sir and I h-hope y-you don’t mind. I’m s-s-sorry…”

“It’s okay,” He said, flashing a kind smile, “It’s nice to see Jinyoung actually hanging out with people for once. I mean, it’s been quite a while since his holidays began and he has not really spent it with anyone other than me so it’s great to see him hanging out with someone for a change.”

I nodded, smiling a little bashfully while looking at Jinyoung, who only showed me a warm and reassuring gaze that Minhyun was alright. I knew he was, and it was clear, but I had no idea how to approach him either.

“It’s nice to see that Jinyoung has treated you well, Jihoon-sshi. And please, don’t call me ‘Sir’. I’m too young for that. Just call me ‘hyung’ and hopefully, I will get a chance to know you more too!”

I nodded and he chuckled again, before heading off to greet the other guests and have a lively chat with his project partner, who was dressed in an elegant and simple white dress paired with white chunky heels and a gold bracelet. She had short hair too and wore glasses, but one could tell that she was someone who was pretty cool, and was probably popular too, just like Minhyun.

“So… How was your first photography experience?”

“I-it was… fun, I suppose. I was never really good with anything to do with art, but I’m glad to have learnt a trick or two.”

“Oh don’t worry about it. I sucked at art too when I was a child, but hyung really taught me a lot, and so did his mum. I suppose you can say that they taught me well, even though I only got into it not too long ago.”

I nodded my head in acknowledgement, and we soon went back to an atmosphere of a relatively comfortable silence, taking a seat in the middle of the gallery to get a good view of the entire exhibition.

However, I thought back to his reply and figured that there was indeed more than meets the eye, and it confirmed my suspicions that Minhyun and Jinyoung were not related, but I kept it to myself because it was way too sensitive of a topic if I asked. And besides, I had only just met him, proper this time, for l _es_ s than 2 hours? To me, it was just not a proper conversation to have if I truly wanted to make friends.

“Do you want to go some place else? Hyung told me that I was free to roam after I showed him the pictures. Come, there are way more things that you can learn to photograph in the Yonsei grounds.”

I nodded and he smiled, before motioning me to follow him and asked in a stuttering manner, “O-oh… And before I forget, hyung wants to bring us out for dinner tonight. A-are y-you f-f-free?”

“I don’t think it will be an issue…? As long as I take my leave by 7.30pm. I… just need to get home.”

_Was it too suspicious? 7.30pm sure is early and it’s just not a teenager’s typical curfew. Should I have said something different, but what if---”_

“Oh… We have early dinners anyway, especially when Minhyunnie hyung is pretty strict when it comes to eating regular meals amidst his busy schedule.”

I nodded once again, before finding myself getting my fingers intertwined with Jinyoung’s and with that, he dragged me out of the Art Space, bringing me to wherever he wanted to take me.

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

As I got to know Jihoon a little bit more, I discovered that he was not exactly as quiet, stoic or mysterious as it might seem to most people. Sure, I had seen that curious and childlike side of him when it looked as if he had stepped out of his hopeless neighbourhood for the first time, but the experience today confirmed that he was just like any typical 18-year-old student.

He was inquisitive, willing to learn and was clearly happy with the little things in life. He did take a little time to learn how to grip the camera properly, probably because of his relatively smaller hands, but he managed eventually, after I had helped him to adjust them a couple of times. It was a little strange holding onto his hands because it was as if our hands fit when our fingers intertwined; like puzzle pieces fit together to form the perfect picture.

My heart rate was quicker and there were clearly butterflies in my stomach with their wings brushing against its walls, but there was also a feeling of warmth and comfort. We began to talk more about our own personal lives and he told me most things about himself; his favourite colour, interests apart from acting and dancing, favourite food and a place he wished to visit. It was nothing huge really, and one could tell that he was a simple-minded and humble individual.

Perhaps that was what I was drawn to; simplicity, but with a hint of fun and sophistication.

I started to notice the little details about him; how his whole face seemed to light up with a smile, his adorable breathy laugh when he was embarrassed (coupled with the look) and how his eyes seemed to be one with a ton of life in them. On the contrary, I had also noticed the aura of mystery that surrounded him as well; as if there was clearly something about him that I was missing.

_Stop judging and thinking so hard Jinyoung. Just enjoy the moment._

Now, we had decided to lay down on one of the grassy patches of land that Yonsei had to offer and watched the clouds go by. Of course, we had chosen a shady spot underneath a tree, unless one wanted to get a sunburn. There was comfortable silence as we looked at the sky and smiles on our faces. We took a glance at each other at one point in time, before breaking out into another series of smiles and laughter.

“I like this.” Jihoon said, before retracting back to his own state of mind.

Soon, I had received a message from Minhyun, who said that they were already preparing to leave and there were no cleanups needed to be done because the school decided that they would clean it up on their own.

“I hope they don’t destroy or break my masterpieces.”

“They won’t hyung. You are their favourite student and it will not make any sense if they actually did that.” I typed back, chuckling at Minhyun’s perfectionist nature.

“Jihoon-ah---”

And that was when I discovered that he had actually fallen asleep on the grass. His head was supported by a hand that he put behind it and he looked like he was genuinely at peace, with all caution thrown to the wind, but he also looked extremely ethereal, especially with the sunlight which made his face glow.

I hated to do so, but I had to wake him up and he groaned, squinting to adjust to the light before rubbing his eyes with the other hand that he had placed over his stomach and croaked, “Where are we going?”

“We’re going for dinner! Sorry to wake you up from your nap but we need to meet Minhyun hyung back at the gallery---”

“Ehh…” He said, before ruffling my hair with a playful smile on his face, “It’s alright. And besides, I don’t even know how I ended up falling asleep here, but let’s go. Thank you Jinyoung-ah… for… teaching me some new things today.”

And once again, he averted the eye contact and we stood up slowly, making our way back to the art gallery to meet Minhyun for our long awaited dinner.

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

_My goodness Jihoon, why can’t you say you enjoy his company?_

Anyway, considering the socioeconomic status of Minhyun and Jinyoung, it was actually surprising to note that they seemed to like the simple things in life too. Sure, both of them were clearly 2 sophisticated and unique individuals with their love for art and the skill of creativity, but here we were, in the middle of a restaurant specialising in cold noodles in the heart of Gangnam.

“This was one of our favourite places to visit every summer,” Minhyun explained while handing me the menu, “There aren't many options here because it all depends whether you prefer your noodles with the broth itself or just noodles with the red pepper paste. Either one is a good choice.”

I took the menu with both hands and opened it, realising that there were indeed only 4-5 pages, with each page containing one dish, followed by sid _es_ and drinks. Nevertheless, it was still difficult to pick a meal, simply because I never went outside very much and cold noodles was something that I had probably eaten once and never again. In actual fact, I probably patronised street stalls and traditional fast food restaurants with doshiraks and tangsooyook more than anything else.

“What are you having?” A soft voice whispered and I nearly jumped out of my skin, only to be faced with Jinyoung’s face barely centimetres away.

“U-uh… I don’t know actually. What would you recommend? I-I’ve never been here before.”

_Man, this boy does things to me that I can never comprehend._

“Hmm… Perhaps the one with the soup will be a safe option. And besides, if you want some red pepper paste, you can request for it too!”

And with that, we made our orders; 3 bowls of cold soup noodles, a plate of dumplings and 3 bottles of cider, before sitting in comfortable silence with Minhyun scrolling through his phone and Jinyoung looking out the window.

“So… How was the exhibition for you, Jihoon-ah?” Minhyun asked, breaking the silence while keeping his phone in his pocket.

“Oh… It was f-fun and your story was really inspiring. I’m glad I went for it. Furthermore, I got a chance to see a different aspect of art through a first-hand experience with Jinyoung as well.”

“I see,” Minhyun said with a small smile, nodding his head, and that was how the conversation had begun, even after we had received our food and drinks.

There was laughter, smiles, moments of embarrassment and so much more which I had never experienced since my mother had left the family. It was a drastic change in scenery had happened and for once, I understood what it meant by “home”. You did not need to have a physical shelter because what truly matters is the people sharing the same moment with you. Sure, I still had no clue how Jinyoung and Minhyun were related or what their story was, but it did not seem to matter anymore.

It was clear they loved each other and cared for each other, just like Sungwoon and I used to be. Indeed, there was some form of jealousy that brewed in my mind due to the relationship they shared, but I hid it with a smile because, in all honesty, it was as if I was living my happiest memories (as far as I can remember them) all over again; which was more than enough to curb the envy.

Unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end and it was time for me to head home (or should I say rush home?) but it was not without hugs and waves, as well as an invitation from Minhyun to drop by whenever I wanted to.

If that was not finding hope and happiness once again, I did not know what was anymore and I went home nervous, because who knew what time my father would come home, but I was happy and that was something that I had not felt for a very long time.


	6. Of New Experiences and Seizing Opportunities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back again! ^^ This chapter is not only as long as the previous one but is still relatively long and took a longer time as well. >.< I'm almost finished with my first round of examinations (thank god) and that would mean I would have slightly more time to keep writing before I jump back into that routine all over again. :') I'm so happy with all of your comments and they truly make my day. :) Thank you all for the kind words omg you guys are too sweet ;; 
> 
> P.S. I will be doing a lookbook for this so do head down to @all-about-wannaone on Tumblr to check them out! I'm still working on it but it should be out very very soon! 
> 
> P.P.S More side characters!   
> \- Gong Yoojung (OC, Minhyun's project partner)   
> \- Lee Daehwi (Resident florist)

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

My father had not been home for the past few days, and even though there were times when it resulted in relief, I could not help but find myself worrying at times. Sometimes, I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning at 3am, and open my room door slowly, just to see whether he was passed out on the floor at least. Unfortunately, I was only greeted with cold and bitter darkness, as well as the occasional creaking of crickets, who seemed to mock my loneliness. 

Yes, he was violent and took out his anger on both his sons with punches and kicks, leaving us with bruises and cuts, but he was still my father. Who knows where he was? He could be dead intoxicated in an alleyway, robbed by the mafia or worse, actually dead… literally. Indeed, no matter how much Sungwoon and I had been through, it was hard to say that we despised him or hated him for that matter for getting us into such a position. 

And that was simply because he was not always like this. In our early years, he would take care of us and does everything that a father does; spends time with his children through fun and games, or even when a lesson needs to be learnt. When our mother would return home late from work, he would take on both the roles of a mother and a father, just to make sure that we did not feel as if we were shortchanged. 

Indeed, it could not be helped when she left, because Sungwoon and I had come home, only to find that the house had been a mess with broken glasses, standing lamps that had been tipped over and family pictures thrown across the room. That was when we noticed our father in his most vulnerable state for the very first time (and the last); on his knees with swollen eyes, which was clear that he had probably cried for hours before. We approached him cautiously, tiptoeing over the glass shards just to get to where he was, but we only found him to be staring daggers at us with gritted teeth and balled fists. “Frightening” was probably an understatement at that point, and Sungwoon only motioned for me to go back to my own room while he cleaned the place up. 

God knows why our father had changed to become a man that seemed to have lost all forms of sense and sanity. He only knew how to use his fists, fury and strength to deal with his inner turmoil and left no room for any form of love, care and concern. In fact, it was probably to say that he was dead inside; a hollow empty shell trying to get by, especially after all the pain and trauma that he had gone through. 

Hence, I could not find myself to say that Sungwoon and I had it hard, because our father probably had it worse for him to become who he was today. It was heartbreaking, truthfully, but he was clearly too far gone to change. There was simply no way he would become the man he once was when I was a child, unless there was the assurance of miracles, or divine intervention for that matter. 

However, this did not stop me from venturing out on my own, as long as I was home before my father was. It was probably impossible to lock me up in the confines of my own room now, which had nothing but dull and patchy dark green walls, a desk with a chair and an old but comfortable bed. That was it, and ever since the encounter with Jinyoung at the rooftop, I found the desire to get out brewing within me. 

I was already 18, and yet, I realised that there were so many things in the world that I did not know. It could be as simple as having no idea how to take the buses anymore because the routes had changed or even knowing any opportunities for an 18-year-old like me. At this age, people were probably finding themselves part time jobs as a way to gain some independence before they officially reached adulthood, but here I was, wasting my life away in a room and watching the day go by. 

At this point, my future did not matter. It was the present which truly mattered and after all I had been through, survival was the only thing I knew. It was the only thing that mattered; survive the day, so that you can live the next to hope that the days will get better. 

On hindsight, here I was, walking in the streets in Sinchon-dong (after seeking the help of kind strangers again), just to find my way to Jinyoung’s house. His neighbourhood was starkly different in the day and I was beyond relieved to know that my muscle memory had not failed me, or there would be no way I could contact them in such a peaceful and obviously high-end neighbourhood. 

I did not have a phone and there was no public phone in the vicinity either, which I had plenty of coins for so I kept walking while trying my best to remember that evening as best as I could. There were many twists and turns that Jinyoung had taken, which were probably shortcuts considering the size of this neighbourhood, just to get back home in the quickest way possible so I went with whatever I could remember. 

Luckily, after a gruelling 20 minutes, I had finally reached the home (after passing it several times back and forth because all the houses looked the same to me after a while) and hence, I rang the doorbell, hoping and praying to the Heavens that I got the right house. It was silent for a while and I was starting to think that I had actually gotten the wrong house, until a familiar voice answered and I turned to face the sound of the voice, only to realise that it came through an installed speaker above the doorbell. 

“Hello! This is Hwang Minhyun speaking, you are?” 

“H-hello. This is Jihoon, Jinyoung’s… I don’t know… friend?” 

“Oh! Are you the one that I saw at the exhibition last week? The boy who was under Jinyounggie’s care?”

“Y-yes hyung. You had sent me an invitation at the dinner last week and so I came. Hopefully, I’m not troubling you or anything---” 

“Of course not! Give me a moment and I’ll open the gate for you alright?” 

With that, he ended the call and I waited, only to hear running footsteps coming behind the gate, signifying that there was someone running down a flight of steps just to get to where I was, and it was then when I heard the unlocking of the huge gate. 

As expected, Minhyun was still handsome as usual, even when he was in a simple black t-shirt and knee-length basketball shorts and judging from the dark blue vinyl apron that he was wearing, it was clear that he was probably working on either pottery or a painting due to the stains of clay and the occasional specks of paint. 

“I’m surprised you actually came,” He said, motioning me inside and holding the heavy gate open for me, “Jinyounggie’s not home now because he has something that he needs to attend to. In the meantime, I do want to get to know you better because you seemed close with Jinyounggie and if you have not already noticed, he doesn’t really have a lot of friends.” 

_ Wow, he is almost the exact opposite of Jinyoung. The latter’s quieter, but Minhyun is just friendly, happy and open minded. That’s kinda… cool, I suppose?  _

“Come in! Sorry for the mess but take a seat right here and I’ll make you a drink. Make yourself at home and you are free to roam around if you like!” 

_ What mess? This was almost as neat as the showrooms in a furniture store.  _

“Ah--- Hyung, water’s just fine…” 

“Ehhhh, no way. It must have been difficult finding my home in such a huge neighbourhood and it’s such a warm day today. You deserve something better, more refreshing, and also something that Jinyoung loves very much. I’ll prepare a glass for all of us then!” 

 

Clearly, there was no stopping him as he proceeded to chop what sounded like a watermelon and was already washing up the cups that had been placed neatly on the dishrack. Next, I heard the sound of the blender mixing the ingredients together in order to make “Jinyoung’s favourite drink”. 

In the meantime, I took a seat on the  _ extremely _ clean cream coloured couch in the living room and looked around from there, noticing how simple the house was. It was minimalistic with white walls and neutral coloured furniture, but the walls were decorated with artwork of all different shapes and sizes. There was a painting of a beautiful sunset behind me, followed by a small painting of the galaxy placed at the stairwell. There were also vases with intricate design and a little shelf just next to the television filled with small trinkets, which was extremely cute and all these gave the colour to the house. 

The vibe was very different and it felt more like home. It was already “family” when I had gone for dinner with Jinyoung and Minhyun, but experiencing it in the physical setting itself was another feeling altogether. It was clearly a place where one could easily find love, happiness, dreams and most importantly, hope. 

Maybe it was the brightness of the walls or the colours that the artworks added to the otherwise minimalistic design, but there was just something about this house that one could look forward to coming home to, simply because it gave a sense of warmth and comfort after a tiring day. 

“Here you go, Jihoon-sshi. It’s a watermelon smoothie made with watermelons, no points for guessing, and cider. Hope it suits your tastebuds just as much as it suits Jinyoung’s. There’s more in the fridge if you like, so feel free to ask for more or help yourself!” 

I took the glass with both hands and it was obvious enough to tell that he was an art student, clearly not restricted by the various types of art form, including the culinary arts. He had taken a slice of watermelon and made a small incision, to ensure that it would fit on the rim on the cup perfectly and to top it off, he had used a colourful red-and-white striped paper straw. 

Exhausted from all the walking around, I took a sip and felt instantly refreshed with the coolness of the drink spreading to the rest of my body and the feeling of the summer heat dissipated immediately. I probably looked a little too blissful because Minhyun only smiled and laughed heartily at my expression, while muttering to himself something along the lines of why Jinyoung and I were friends. 

“So… I heard from Jinyoung that you have a passion in the Arts too. Which aspect, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“U-uh,” and here I went again with my usual awkward stuttering, “I took an interest in Modern Dance and Theatre.” 

“Oh!!” Minhyun exclaimed, his eyes widening and his face lighting up, “I used to do Theatre too, but I found my calling in the Visual and Contemporary. I do have some material that I could pass on to you then and it will be great in aiding you as you find out more about Theatre in times to come---” 

“S-sorry hyung, but I don’t go to school anymore…” 

It was obvious that Minhyun was taken aback as he leaned away from me and looked at me with raised eyebrows, but returned to his usual polite manner and nodded his head in acknowledgement. 

“I see… It’s rude to ask you why, so I’ll take it as that. Are you excited for today then? I’m not sure why Jinyoung’s taking so long, but don’t worry, he’ll be back home in no time and we are ready to start! I’m so glad to have found someone interested not only in the Arts as a viewer, but Art through its various aspects and an applicator.” 

His eyes became two crescent moons when he realised that my glass was empty, before giving me another refill of the watermelon smoothie that he had made. Indeed, I loved it so much that I kept drinking it, forgetting that I had not answered Minhyun’s question about my interest in the arts so I just nodded fervently and he chuckled at my response. 

“Indeed, Jinyoung and you are extremely similar. I suppose it’s true that birds of the same feather flock together. The both of you are extremely awkward during my first proper encounters with you guys, but behind that facade, I know, deep down, that you guys are pure, modest and humble. I can’t wait to expose you to the Arts today, but we’ll wait for Jinyounggie to come home. In the meantime, feel free to ask me anything!” 

Surprisingly, I had actually mustered the courage to have some form of conversation with Minhyun, despite the frequent awkward stops. I truly did not know where that courage came from, but it was probably the sense of familiarity that it gave me about having an older brother all over again. 

He was a lot like Sungwoon. Unlike the fact that Minhyun was clearly a head taller, their personalities resonated with each other very much. Minhyun was caring, spontaneous, passionate, friendly and knowledgeable, just like how Sungwoon was. Furthermore, it was also clear that Minhyun was book smart, and probably required no effort to do well in his examinations or school for that matter, just like Sungwoon. And so we talked, losing track of time and it felt like I was connecting the dots back to my younger self as I spent time with my older brother; like I was reliving the memories of the good old days. 

“Oh…? Jihoon-hyung, what are you doing here?” 

At that, the both of us turned around, only to be met with an extremely confused Jinyoung. I supposed that just showed how engrossed Minhyun and I were with our conversation, to the point that we did not even hear the turning of the door knob to say that someone has come home. 

“Jinyounggie!!!” Minhyun stood up and wrapped an arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders, “How was your session today? I hope it was good and remember the dinner we had last week? I invited Jihoon over for a little art session and perhaps he can get to know us a little better.” 

Jinyoung processed the information and slowly nodded, before giving me a polite bow. He was dressed in a white undershirt and a pink outerwear this time, paired with a pair of black ripped jeans and topped it off with a cute pair of round glasses. His hair was still the hazel brown shade that I remembered, except it was not styled this time and this made his face even smaller than it already was. 

As usual, it was cute, just like how Jinyoung always was. 

“So… How’s my hyung?” Jinyoung asked, taking a seat next to me with a glass of watermelon smoothie in his hand, “I hope it wasn’t too awkward for you because if you have not noticed, he can be quite a talker at times---” 

“Jinyoung, I can hear you from the kitchen.” 

The both of us giggled at Minhyun’s playfully stern voice and I shook my head, assuring Jinyoung that Minhyun was just fine and it was great, in fact, to get to know him better behind all the glitz and glamour that he had been receiving since “Meraki”. Jinyoung nodded in acknowledgement, before saying that it was true how Minhyun made most people feel; loved, cared for, accepted and comfortable.

As we sat in comfortable silence with the calming music that Minhyun had put on the speakers, he said, “Jinyoung, why don’t you show him your room? Perhaps you can get started on something first instead of Jihoon just sitting there. Meanwhile, I’ll prepare a lunch for us okay? Have fun!” 

He closed the door to the kitchen immediately, probably to prevent the smell from travelling around the house, but all we did was to look through the windows to see what he was doing. Unfortunately, it was not long until we were caught, and he motioned for us to go upstairs to Jinyoung’s room. 

“I guess hyung wants us to go so come on. Follow me.” 

And so I did. 

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

Bringing Jihoon into my room was a little bit of an embarrassment, simply because it was only at the moment when I opened the door had I realised that I had not cleaned up my room in a while. To my relief, Minhyun had cleared at least half of it and stacked up all my school work into one neat pile, lining my textbooks according to alphabetical order on the shelves and made my bed. 

The only thing that I had failed to clear was the side table next to my bed, which had books stacked up in a disorderly manner and one looking as if it was going to fall off the stack at any one time and there were still some slips of paper that had fallen onto the floor. 

_ Indeed, welcome to a typical and messy teenager’s room.  _

“Woah…” Jihoon said in awe, as he took in the sight of my room with widened eyes, “Your room’s really pretty and it has so much light too. I wish mine was like that.” 

“It isn’t anything much really,” I replied, “Thank Minhyunnie hyung for cleaning up some stuff for me because it would have looked like a tornado swept through it and it will be in complete disarray.” 

He let out a hearty laugh, hiding his adorable smile with a fist, and continued to look around, as if he was examining every nook and cranny of my room. Truth be told, I had no idea whether I was going to feel embarrassed with the highly evident mess at some areas or just pure awkwardness in the way he examined my room like he was in a furniture store. Nevertheless, his intrigued expression did make me want to pinch his cheeks at some point. 

“So… What do you want to start with?” I asked, breaking the silence and snapping Jihoon out of his own little world, “We did photography last week so… how does painting sound like to you? I do design as well but I only have one drawing pad and I didn’t buy clay on the way home. Is that… okay with you?” 

“S-sure. I’m not good in either of them so I’m open to anything.” 

“Ehhh… Don’t say that! Just give it a shot and don’t worry, I’ll help you along the way.” 

And I kept my word because he was clearly struggling with all the various types and thicknesses of the brushes, confusion written all over his face. He let out a huff, before examining the brushes a little closer and he was probably figuring out why one would need that many brushes to paint. It was as if he was back in his little bubble of curiosity, but hesitated to touch the brushes, most probably because he was afraid of possible spoilage.

_ Once again, thank Minhyun for actually teaching me how to maintain my brushes.  _

“Shall we get started hyung? Here’s a piece of wood paper with a thickness of 120gsm. It’s perfect for art and paint won’t seep through. Nevertheless,” I paused, to take old newspaper that I had stowed just to line the table, “We still need to be careful so here we go!” 

As I continued to teach him the ways of the brush, it did require a little more guidance than usual and that simply meant that I had to hold his hand a little more this time, just to ensure that he was holding the brushes correctly. Once again, I felt my heart rate increase as I held onto his hand and adjusted it. Furthermore, the close proximity and the pin drop silence was something that was not in my favour because all I did was to hope and pray that he would not hear the sound of my palpitating heart. 

As he put his learnings to the test (or at least attempted to), his concentrated look was adorable to say the least as he puffed his cheeks and knitted his eyebrows together, hoping to create the perfect piece with gentle and slow strokes. In fact, it was as if one could watch him paint all day. For some, it might be excruciating to watch, but it was a surprise to me instead and it made me watch with anticipation at what he would try to draw next. Indeed, it was pretty fascinating to see how concentrated he was, despite his lack of self-belief earlier on. 

Once he clearly seemed to be absorbed in his own world, I started working on my own, sketching out the idea I had in mine. There was no particular meaning behind it, but it was simply a picture of a garden with a giant tree placed on the left side of the canvas and underneath its shade was the back of 2 guys looking out into the horizon. It was unclear what their expressions were, but it was clear they were probably happy and most importantly, at peace in each other’s company. 

Soon, I found myself absorbed into my own world of painting and got to work by mixing the colours to create pastel shades of pink, purple, blue, yellow and green in order to prepare my own palette for the painting and improved my sketching in order to capture the detail of the scenery in the background and the setting in the foreground. I wanted it to seem like there was a breeze with the grass blowing towards a particular direction. Furthermore, I added textures to my character’s clothes and hair, as if they too were flowing with the breeze. Once satisfied, I began to paint in the colours little by little. 

And that was when I had failed to take notice that Jihoon had actually stopped painting, probably to rest his eyes from all the intricate work he wanted to do, but little did I know that he would stop completely and sit there, just to look at me. 

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

I had been working on the design for a solid 30 minutes and in all honesty, my eyes had started to hurt. It was hard to believe that this was the first thing that an art student would teach you, but it was perhaps everyone had a different starting point with different styles. Jinyoung’s so happened to be one who appreciated minimalism, simplicity but he never missed out on the intricate details. 

After giving me a quick 20 minute tutorial and a few quick sketches as to how to hold onto the brush (where I tried to hold back my reddening cheeks as he went through the motion), he had left me to my own devices; giving me another set of brushes to use and a well maintained palette of colours to work with. It was not exactly new, but for a novice like me, the simpler, the better. There was no way I wanted to destroy his things and it was clear that the price of these items could burn a huge hole in my pocket and I did not want to do that to Jinyoung. 

It was clear that he loved the arts very much, just like Minhyun, so I treated his equipment with the same form of tender loving care that he held them with and tried my very best to trace over his extremely rough sketching with the thinnest paintbrush with black ink. And shockingly, Jinyoung had drawn this in 10 minutes, while I sat there, barely done with a percentage of it in that amount of time. In retrospect, I probably spent that 10 minutes figuring out how I was going to start without any guidance all of a sudden. 

I rested my eyes for a bit, blinking them to curb the sudden blurring when I looked up, and that was when I turned my head to the left, only to be met with a quiet and concentrated Jinyoung. He was working on his own artwork that he had sketched out and was already beginning to paint the background, swiftly changing the brushes whenever he needed to. I peeked a little, only to find out that he was blending the colours of the sky with various shades of blue that he had made. It was oddly satisfying to watch, and with the sunlight filtering through the windows and his white translucent curtains, it seemed to make his features glow and sparkle in the muted sunlight and accentuated his high cheekbones.

He was pretty, or should I say, one of the most beautiful human beings? It was unlike anyone that I had seen before, despite my limited exposure to the outside world, and it just provided a sense of calm to me, something that I had not felt in a long time. It made my heart race a little faster than usual, my head swirl, but more importantly, it brought a smile on my face when I was simply in his presence. 

I had long given up on my artwork by this point, and simply supported the side of my head with my hand as I put my elbow on the desk. I watched him paint the clouds a little, before blending the colours out once again and I also witnessed how he blended the colours together with skill, dipping the brushes into the shared bucket of water just so he could work on another colour and it was satisfying enough for me to simply watch (there was like a silly smile on my face by this point). 

However, it was unbeknown to me that Jinyoung had actually taken my paintbrush and soon, I felt a disgusting, cold and wet swipe on my left cheek. Using my fingers, I dabbed on it, only to realise that he had actually drawn a black line on the right side of my face. I glared at him playfully, but he paid no attention, and it was clear that he was stifling himself from laughter with his lips tightly held together. 

“Yah, Jinyoung-ah---” I said, and he turned around, only to end up with a little black dot on his nose too, and that got me bursting out into laughter again at his expression of surprise; his widened eyes and his hanging jaw was indeed a rare sight for many because he was always calm and collected, just like Minhyun. 

“Hyunggggggg” he whined, taking a piece of wet tissue to wipe it off his nose, and returned back to his work. 

“Yah, aren’t you going to help me out too?” 

He only rolled his eyes, but took another piece of wet wipes anyway and turned around to face me clearly, before taking the wipe to clean off the line that he had drawn carefully, slowly and gently too. He had a small smile on his face as he did so, and shortened the distance between himself and I, just to see whether there was any excess that he might have missed out. 

“Hyung, you should really pay attention sometimes.” He sighed, and returned once again to his painting of the greenery this time around, “You are a fast learner but an artist never rests on his laurels. Come on hyung, you can do it, and besides, you are already on a great footing at this point. Your start is way better than mine, so make use of it.” 

_ But how do I focus when I’m around you?  _

I returned to my work shortly after, but without missing the opportunity to sneak a few glances at him every now and then. And I also had to resist the urge to pat him on the head, just to have an excuse to run my fingers through his obviously soft hair. 

_ This guy is really doing more things to me than I can imagine. Snap out of it Jihoon, oh my goodness---  _

“Boys, lunch is ready!” A loud, resonating and familiar voice came from the floor below and Jinyoung dropped his paintbrush immediately before motioning for me to step out of his room so that we could eat whatever Minhyun cooked for us. 

“Come on hyung, it’s time to taste some of Minhyun’s cooking and I would appreciate it if you could walk a  _ little _ faster because I don’t know about you, but I am famished, so move aside and let me through.” 

********

When I saw the food, it was truly something that I had  _ NEVER  _ seen before, even when I was having proper meals with a full family.

My mother was simple and only cooked a maximum of 6 dishes for the 4 of us during special occasions, but for most of the time, my father was the one who did the cooking, because she was hardly around. It was nothing fancy really and all I remembered was being served lots of fish, kimchi, rice and kimchi stew. 

Hence, when I saw the spread that lined the dining table, I gasped (a little too loud) and my eyes probably sparkled at the sight of the food. And that was when I heard an extremely loud growl, piercing the silence of the house, but Minhyun only let out a chuckle and motioned for me to sit down while he takes the rice to put it into bowls. 

“Here you go, Jihoonnie. I hope you enjoy the food today! There’s kimchi stew, freshly homemade kimchi, anchovies, an oxtail stew of sorts, egg rolls and so much more. Help yourself and if you need more, just let me know! I cooked a little extra just in case.” 

“T-thank you hyung. I will eat well!” I replied with a smile, still taking occasional shameless glances at the food in front of me, but as with all typical table manners, Jinyoung and I waited for Minhyun to start first before we dug into the wide spread that he had prepared for us.

As expected from Minhyun, the food tasted as good as it looked and it was extremely flavourful. Yes, it was lightly seasoned (since Minhyun believed in the concept of nutritional foods for the brain) but it was definitely something that one would be glad to find in the restaurants that lined Gangnam, Hongdae and Myeongdong. Furthermore, it would make you want to go back for more, and with the healthy balance, what more could one ask for? 

At this point, I had no idea how much I had already eaten but it seemed that I had eaten quite a bit and finished my rice bowl(s) with no issues at all. Minhyun had stopped eating quite a while ago, and proceeded to clean up some of the dishes that were wiped out clean and was preparing something in the kitchen, judging by the sounds of the opening and closing of the fridge doors. As for Jinyoung, he had eaten more than Minhyun but stopped before me, and just kept me company until I was done wolfing down my share of food.

“Aigoo Jihoonnie, you are eating just like how Jinyoung was when he first came here, but I’m glad you enjoyed it. Here’s a quick dessert that I prepared last night and it’s a great way to curb the heat. It’s an earl grey and lavender fusion flavoured ice cream! Refreshing, light and something that tickles your taste buds!” 

I accepted the bowl with both hands and found that he had decorated it with fancy looking wafers, juju cubes and silver sugar balls, to my surprise. He had prepared one for Jinyoung, of course, but it was a completely different set of decorations and Minhyun never used two of the same ingredients for the both of us. 

“Ooh this is my favourite,” Jinyoung muttered, before taking a spoonful of ice cream and putting it into his mouth, breaking out into a childlike smile filled with happiness, bliss, purity and innocence. I took a spoonful as well, surprised at the unique flavour which made my taste buds dance, but it was a pleasant taste and it was a good way to put the palette to rest. 

In the meantime, Minhyun was cleaning up the dishes and putting all of it into the sink so that he could wash them, but a sense of guilt took over me at the sight. He had cooked such a huge spread for us and here we were, eating the ice cream that he had specially made without lifting a finger. I knew I was a guest and he would probably refuse, taking into account his too-kind-of-a-heart from the short time that I had known him. 

“Hyung, do you want us to help you for the dishes today? We can if you want!” I said loudly and Jinyoung was surprised, teaspoon still in his mouth. 

“Y-yeah hyung! We’ll help you today. You must be tired from all the preparations for the art exhibition and you still need to complete some assignments, don’t you?” Jinyoung continued, but he stuttered initially and his ears were fiery red, showing me that he has probably not helped around the house very often. 

“Aigoo… Jihoon-ah, you are the guest and let’s not forget that you saved Jinyounggje’s life. You deserve the best and feel free to simply relax. It’s the holidays anyway.” 

“It’s okay, hyung,” Jinyoung contributed, “Just relax, Jihoon hyung and I will do the dishes.” 

It was clear that Minhyun took quite a lot of convincing before we heard the sounds of plate scrubbing stop and he stepped out of the kitchen, only to give Jinyoung and I an extremely long lecture about what to do with the plates once we were done, how certain things should be washed and even the nitty gritty details of how to scrape the residue off the pots and pans. 

“Yes hyung. We will find out eventually. Relax.” 

“I hope so because from what I remembered, you never really knew about what goes on in a kitchen--” 

“Hyungggggggg, not in front of our guests…” Jinyoung whined again as his face fell and lips put together in a pout, but Minhyun only ruffled his hair and smiled a fatherly smile, “Aish, I’m just kidding. I’ll leave you kids to it, yeah?” 

We nodded and Minhyun waved a little goodbye before going into his room and closing the door behind him, leaving the two of us alone in a relatively huge open space as well as the silence that followed. It was no longer awkward really, but it was relatively calm, peaceful and quiet (though I wished that there would be a little more conversation). 

Once Jinyoung was done scraping off the melted bits into his mouth from the bowl, he got out of the chair and signalled that he was ready to do the dishes. So I followed behind him and admired the kitchen once again, because it was nothing like mine. In fact, it was probably 2 to 3 times bigger than what I had at home and it was fully equipped with an induction cooker, oven, microwave and all the different pots and pans hung on the walls according to their sizes and labelled with their purposes. 

_ I guess Jinyoung wasn’t kidding when he said that Minhyun was organised and neat.  _

“Oh… We only have one set of hand gloves though. Do you want to use it?” Jinyoung asked kindly as he cleared the rest of the residue off the remaining plates into the rubbish bin. 

“N-no… It’s okay. You are an artist anyway and you probably can’t afford to get your fingers all wrinkled up. It’s okay, I’m used to using my hands anyway.” I said, and began to run the dishes under running water before squeezing some soap onto the sponge and scrubbed the dishes. 

At first, I was not met with any form of interruption, but I felt a hand grabbing onto my wrist and slipping my right hand into a rubber glove. I stopped so that I could see what Jinyoung had done and it was only then when I realised that he only had one glove too. However, he continued on with his duties and inspected the plates to make sure that they were actually suitable for washing. 

“It’s not nice for one to be so well protected while the other has nothing when they are both doing the same thing. Hyung, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but in our house, we believe in taking care of each other. I… just hope that you will take care of yourself more because… y-you truly deserve it.” 

I was surprised when Jinyoung had said those words in such a serious tone, and it was even more surprising when I remembered that he was actually younger than me. For someone of that age, it was probably not the first thing that would come into their minds. No, I was not saying they were immature, but it was just too rare for me to come across people like that? 

There were simply no words for me to say by this point, so we continued to wash the dishes in silence, and the only things that could be heard from the kitchen was the sound of the running tap water and the arranging of the plates in the dishwasher for them to dry later. His words stuck with me and for some strange reason, they repeated in my head like a mental mantra as I continued to do the dishes. 

“And that’s a wrap!” Jinyoung exclaimed when he had finally started the dishwasher, and used a piece of tissue to wipe off his sweat, “It’s been quite a while since I’ve helped around the house, simply because hyung doesn’t try me very much.” 

I laughed at the statement and I soon found his hand ruffling my hair once again with a wide smile, before making his way up the stairs and leaving me rooted to the ground. Clutching onto my heart, I could feel the pace at which it was beating and I took in a deep breath to calm myself down, easing the obvious tension in my shoulders.

With that, I made my way up the stairs before finding Minhyun’s head sticking out the door with a proud smile on his face and truth be told, I did jump when I saw him. 

“Done with the dishes?” 

“Y-yes hyung. We just placed them into the dishwasher for drying.” I said, pointing at the direction of the dishwasher. 

Minhyun gave a thumbs up in approval before saying a quick thank you and closed the door, probably going back to his own work, but he opened it again and called my name. 

“Y-yes hyung?” 

“Thanks Jihoonnie. I’ve never seen Jinyoung like that in a while so I just wanted to thank you for helping him to see the better things in life. He might get a little emotional at times, but just… take care of him alright? I can tell that he cares for you so I hope you do the same, yeah?” 

“S-sure hyung, I will and once again, it’s no problem really. I’m sure Jinyoung will be fine. He’s been smiling a lot lately and is surprisingly playful.” 

At that, Minhyun only chuckled and nodded, before saying another quick thank you before closing the door behind him once again, for real this time. 

I made my way back up only to find Jinyoung back at it with his painting, but this time, he was starting to add details to the greenery and the characters involved, almost paying no attention to me stepping into his room and closing the door as well. 

“Hyung, thanks for helping me to wash the dishes and giving me a relatively new set of experiences too,” he said, still facing the painting and mixing his palette, “Come, let’s start on something new, shall we?” 

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

Surprisingly, I had managed to find some leftover clay that I had stowed away and took a portion of it, laying it on the table next to Jihoon’s artwork. He did not do very much despite all the sketchings, but it was still pretty good for an amateur who claimed that he was terrible at art, or anything to do with the hands for that matter. 

When he walked in and closed the door behind him, I wanted to ask what he spoke to Minhyun about, but I figured that I should probably stop being so nosy if I wanted this friendship to work. Jihoon was not someone whom I had known for very long, and yes, Minhyun was right when he said that I do not make friends easily. Hence, I stopped myself from asking the unnecessary questions, and just focus on the situation at hand. In fact, it was for him to decide if he wanted to tell me or not, and if it was the latter, I would fully respect his decision anyway.

“Hyung, thanks for helping me to wash the dishes and giving me a new set of experiences today,” I said, knowing full well that he could hear me clear enough, even when I was not facing him directly, “Let’s start on something new, shall we?” 

“W-what is this?” Jihoon asked, with his eyebrows closely knitted together and examining the ball of clay with interest and suspicion at the same time. 

“Ah… This is a ball of clay that I happened to find together with my art materials. It’s still quite moist so it might not be perfect, but it should still work in allowing you to craft something. Here, I prepared another bowl of water for you too.” 

“T-thanks Jinyoung-ah, so… what do I do with this?” 

And with that, it was my cue once again to teach him the basic techniques of pottery that all art students majoring in the Visual Arts needed to do. I told him the details of how to handle the clay, the methods in order to make a certain type of decoration and how to know whether the clay needed moisture or not so that it would not crack and fall apart. 

Interestingly, he was a faster learner at this and comprehended the concepts and techniques quicker, and was soon fit to be left to his own devices to whatever he wanted to create. He was staring out of the window for a bit, probably cracking his brain as to what he could possibly make with a ball of clay, and I gave him the idea of making a bowl, simply because it was the simplest and the most basic item. 

And so he did while I continued my painting.

However, the air was no longer filled with comfortable silence but there was the occasional small talk as we got to know a little more about each other. It was probably the only right thing to do at this point, because I’ve known this boy for 2 weeks, and he probably knows more about me than I know about him. If we wanted to be friends, I figured that there should have been a mutual transfer of information if this was truly going to work.

Hence, we started with the basics; our favourite colour. Mine was the “mainstream” Tiffany blue and when I asked Jihoon what his was, he only smiled and told me that he loved the colours orange and green. He also mentioned that it was not the bright colours, but more of the muted and pastel shades. He elaborated a little further, saying that orange and green were the colours one could see in nature and this gave him the hope and comfort that he always needed to start the day on a good note. 

“It’s like a reminder that there’s something worth living for, you know?” 

_ Hmm… Wait, did this boy have… I don’t know… suicide tendencies too? Nobody would need that particular will to live like that unless something has happened to them-- Aish Baejin, look at you overthinking again. He’s such an innocent and happy boy, surely he has does not go through much and this is probably part of my own warped sixth sense talking.  _

Next, we got onto our hobbies, which we had reinforced, but I had also found out that he was very into reading and loved finding out more than necessary about the world out there. Furthermore, I had also found out that he was a regular at the library in his old hometown and was frequently borrowing the many volumes of encyclopedias just to read. 

As for me, it was also the time when I had revealed my love for the flora and fauna, saying that I wanted to try flower arranging at one point, all because of a friend named Lee Daehwi. Jihoon laughed initially, simply because it definitely did not occur to him that someone like me would appreciate the art of flower arrangement, but he still nodded in acknowledgement anyway. 

And that was how our conversations went for the next few hours as the sun began to set behind the horizon, turning the sky from blue to shades of orange, pink and yellow. On the other hand, Jihoon’s expression was one of panic and urgency and he told me that he was sorry that he needed to end the session so quick this time around, promising me that he will try his best to stay longer. 

There was no time for questions because all he did was to wrap his little bowl in the bunch of newspapers found and folded the paper containing his lacey designs as quickly as he could. In the meantime, I had been looking for a bag for him to put the artwork that he had worked so hard on in, aiding him to pack his things in the same hurried manner. 

“Oh? Leaving so soon?” Minhyun asked, noticing that Jihoon was practically making a beeline for the main door at this point while he was taking a cup of water from the kitchen. 

“Y-yes hyung, I’m sorry I can’t stay any longer.” Jihoon said as he sat on the floor just to wear his shoes properly if he did not want to fall and possibly trip over his shoelaces.

“It’s okay! Would you like to take some food back?” Minhyun asked from the kitchen once again, only to be replied with a very urgent “No, it’s okay! Thank you!” 

Once done, he was out the door and seemed ready to make a run for it as if a bear was chasing him, but I called out to him and God knows why I did that but I just did because who knew when I would see him again?

“Hyung!!” 

“Yeah?” He replied, which was pretty surprising considering how fast he ran down the stairs, but stopped to turn around when I had called out. 

“Do you… want to meet more often? I don’t have your number though…” 

“A-ah… I’m sorry Jinyoung-ah, but I don’t have a phone…” 

It was clear that he was embarrassed about it, from the way that he was scratching the back of his neck with a sheepish grimace. Truth be told, it was surprising he did not have a phone but then again, he did not go to school so it was not too much of a surprise. However, I cannot deny the fact that it did make me even more curious about his story. 

Nevertheless, I was quick to note that there were other ways in which we could keep in touch so I told him to give me a minute of his time while I scrambled to grab a piece of paper and a pen. Once done, I scribbled the name of my favourite cafe in this area, together with the address, day and time, before scrambling out the door with mismatched slippers just to pass it to him.

“What’s this?” He asked, curiosity laced in his tone again, and opened the piece of paper and possibly trying his best to decipher my scribbling. 

“It’s the name of my favourite cafe just 10 minutes away from here! I’ve written down the address as well and since you don’t have a phone, should we meet there then? Every Wednesday at 4pm?” 

He read the details once again and looked back at me after a slight chuckle, before nodding his head with a small smile on his face. 

“Sure. I will try my best to find you there. Thank you for today, Jinyounggie. I really enjoyed it.”

“And so did I,” I replied, reciprocating the gesture, “See you soon and I wish you a safe journey back home. Do you know how to find your way to the bus stop and do you need some money for the trip as well?” 

“I-it’s okay, I’ll find my way around,” He replied, once again making a run for the gate which let out a loud metal clank after Minhyun had unlocked it with the push of a button, “Have a good night and… I’ll see you soon.” 


	7. Of Sunny Days, Change and New Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again, I am back! My brain has officially combusted from my examinations but I have one more day left and it will all come to a temporal end before I go back into the motion of studying for my final examinations again. :') I'm not sure what's with me and long chapters lately, but I still hope that all of you would enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. ^^ Once again, thank you for all the kind comments because omg you guys are way too sweet. T.T Here's me wishing you a happy reading experience again for this chapter! 
> 
> P.S. Congratulations to Wanna One for their 11th win! :) Energetic promotions would finally end next week because the boys really do deserve their rest. :( Nevertheless, may they continue walking the road of flowers until the very end! :')

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

I guess it was true when many claimed that you would probably meet the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. In fact, it was probably proven with the existence of a certain Park Jihoon, the 18-year-old boy with the most colourful fashion I had ever seen and a story shrouded in mystery. 

One moment I found myself standing on a rooftop, ready to take off into the unknown with the heaviest of hearts, but here I was instead, finishing up the pottery piece that I had designed specially for Jihoon at the institute’s art studio. It was not anything special really; just a simple design like a tiny vase and a cute little cover with engravings of flora and fauna all around it. Now, it sat in the kiln burning at 1300 degrees celsius, and all I had to do was to glaze it to make it shine and perhaps add a pop of colour to match his colourful personality. 

He was clearly a happy-go-lucky boy, but I could not help but think that there was a huge aspect of his life that I had no clue of. The closer we got, the more time we spent with each other, even outside of the typical weekly art sessions that Minhyun had organised. We would go out for lunch, a simple coffee and cake, or even window shopping in the streets of Hongdae. And I must say that he was amazing company to be with. He did not talk very much, but I could tell that he was a good listener and would definitely be more than willing to stay by my side. 

Or at least that was what he told me. 

However, there were things that did not sit too well with me and I wanted to curse my mind that could get a little too nosy for my own liking. Sometimes, when we reached the simple topic of family (after I found out that he had an older brother), there would be an aura of tension descending on us and it seemed to be the cue that it was something I should not talk about anyway. Hence, I would be quick on my feet to laugh the topic off, quickly transitioning to a conversation about Minhyun and Yoojung or something as strange as our individual pet peeves. 

Nevertheless, I could not deny that Jihoon was one that I did not mind spending time with. In fact, I actually did love spending time with him, simply because I smiled more, laughed more and just felt a sense of joy, as if a tonne had been lifted off my chest and shoulders. As we basked in each other’s company, it felt like time stopped for the both of us so that we could have more time to cherish the moments given to us. Indeed, our memories were filled with all the simple things in life; heading up to a rooftop to watch the clouds, lying under what seemed like the biggest tree in the Hangang Park, enjoying Minhyun’s exceptional cooking or simply talking on a park bench, these were all the little things that I would keep close to my heart anyway. 

They were special, intimate, unique and something that could well serve as a substitute for my anti-depressants. Sometimes, I felt as if I could do without them, as long as I had Jihoon by my side. Furthermore, Seonha had also noticed that I was getting better by the weeks that she had seen me and not only was she proud of me, Minhyun was also happy for me too. It was as if he had been relieved from the worry that was always sitting on his shoulders where I was concerned. I was not the only one smiling more often and throwing caution to the wind, the other people around me were too. 

As I thought about everything that had happened so far, I nearly forgot that I had something in the kiln and took out the pottery piece to check it, before approving for myself that it was definitely hard enough for it to break less easily than the usual pottery. Therefore, as it sat on the table to cool, I prepared the glaze, as well as the colours that I would be using to decorate the vase. Despite Jihoon’s fashion sense, there was no way I was going to make it outlandish, loud and bold. 

I wanted sophistication, simplicity and the aesthetics, hence, I settled for a simple colour scheme of the pastels for the flowers and white for the rest of the vase. Mixing the colours and pouring them into the palette, I checked the vase every so often, nearly burning off my fingers in the process due to the intense heat. Nevertheless, I was still proud of my work so far, especially when this was the first time I had used art for a gift and for no apparent reason either. 

Once it was finally cool enough to hold in my hands, I proceeded to paint it with glaze and paint with a small, but proud smile on my face. 

********

“Are the both of you ready? Jihoonie, I know our destination’s a little far from here for you to get home, but don’t worry, I’ll assure you that we will be back on time okay? If not, I can simply drive you back to your home---”

“I-it’s okay hyung. If we exceed the time, you can just drop me off at the nearest bus stop to my home. I’ll… be okay.” Jihoon replied with a tinge of awkwardness, and once again, I noticed the fear that was present in his eyes again, but I was not sure what the fear truly was. It was a fleeting moment, and one might probably miss it if they heard his words alone, but I saw his entire being. There was a sense of uncertainty, fear and doubt. 

However, as expected, he masked it with a smile once again and Minhyun nodded, before starting up the engine and driving us to our destination for his photography project. 

According to him, he was going to drive us to a little town that reminded him of Busan, simply because the city of Busan itself was a little too far away. Furthermore, with Jihoon’s curfew, it was practically impossible for anyone to take a day trip to Busan and back, especially when it was already 8am in the morning. 

Nevertheless, Minhyun had already done his research and found out that it contained multiple seafood restaurants which were on par with Busan’s, sandy white beaches and the best part? It did not attract many people either (or at least that was what the reviews told him) and it seemed like the perfect peaceful getaway for a day trip. It sounded serene, peaceful and tranquil, which were basically all the feelings which I had not felt in a very long time and I was sure Minhyun felt the same. With all his projects stacked back-to-back, at least this gave him a reason to step out of the busy city. 

It was comfortable silence for the initial part of the journey, with Minhyun looking into the rearview mirror sometimes to check on the both of us, Jihoon looking out into the horizon and the same went for me. However, my thoughts soon shifted to the gift that I had so painstakingly prepared for Jihoon over the past week, hoping that it would not crush in my bag despite the layers of bubble wraps. 

“Jihoonie, what kind of music would you like? Jinyoung? How about you? It’s a little too quiet for a road trip huh?” 

“Uhh….” Jihoon answered, but stopped as he was probably running through his mental database to think of a song or even a genre for that matter. As he was thinking, he would turn to look at me, as if asking for help with furrowed eyebrows, tense shoulders and a tight jaw. 

“Hyung, didn’t you make a playlist recently? It had pretty good songs in there.” I replied, and gave a wink to Jihoon, who heaved a silent sigh of relief as he clutched onto his chest. 

“Oh… I didn’t know you liked those, but since you mentioned it, I will play it then. Jihoonie, I hope you like it. If you boys want to change it up, don’t be afraid to say so, okay?” 

With that, he passed me his phone so that I could plug it in with the AUX cable that Minhyun had bought a couple of days ago and soft, but calming music started to surround the car. Knowing him, it was expected that this would be Minhyun’s type of music because it fits so well with his personality and looking at Jihoon’s relaxed state, it was clear that he had found the perfect type of music as well. 

To my surprise, both of us had actually fallen asleep until Minhyun woke us up at a rest stop to get some food and take a break from the long drive. In all honesty, it was probably a lie to say that I did not feel bad for Minhyun, especially when he would have appreciated some company from the both of us when he was driving. However, considering how much of a good heart that Minhyun had, he only smiled as he tapped our arms and ruffled my hair to get me out of the car. 

“We are not exactly here yet,” he said, while fishing out his wallet from the back of the car, “but we can stop here for now for a quick bite. They have some pretty good stuff here and Jihoon-goon, don’t worry about the price, it’s all on me today!” 

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

Truth be told, I know it sounded a little strange, but even before my family fell apart, there was no time for us to enjoy a short road trip out of the busy and fast-paced life of the city. Hence, all this was completely new to me and I stepped out of the car looking like a lost child, but Minhyun only smiled and placed an arm around me before showing me around the place. 

It was not huge; just a seating area with a row of food and snack shops, from savoury to quick to sweet, and an entire row of chairs that followed. As I scanned my surroundings as well, this was one of the few times I would see that buildings were swallowed by the luscious greenery around and it brought an instant sense of calm. In fact, it was as if I could throw all my problems to the wind and forget about them for a while. The feeling was… euphoric, I suppose.

“So… There are so many things you can try out! There’s seasoned potatoes, a speciality of Gangwon-do, ddeokbokki, kimbap, hotdogs and so much more. Jinyounggie, here’s 50,000 won and if you need more, just let me know! I’ll be around.” 

And with that, Minhyun made his way into the building, probably to run some quick errands or get some food, leaving Jinyoung and I awkwardly standing in front of all the food stalls. However, the awkward atmosphere dissipated when we had made eye contact by accident and laughed it off, before he put his arm on my shoulder as well. 

“Hyung, what do you want to eat?” 

“I-It’s totally up to you. I mean, I’ve never eaten these here so I will trust you with whatever you think it’s good. I do want to try the seasoned potatoes that Minhyun was talking about though because it sounds good---” 

“Sure, let’s go find it then! Let loose hyung and let’s have fun for the day okay? I know you don’t really get a lot of days out but here you are now, so make the most out of it yeah? Come on, let’s go and look for your seasoned potatoes. I didn’t know Minhyunnie hyung liked them so much so let’s see whether we can go find it.” 

And with that, he took my hand once again and interlaced our fingers, dragging me along to find “Minhyun’s favourite food”. 

********

Indeed, Minhyun had truly fed us well and here we were with another 45 minutes or so to our destination, feeling completely stuffed and satisfied with the food that we managed to get.

Thanks to the both of them, I had finally discovered new favourite items that I never got to try such as the seasoned potatoes loved by Minhyun and the Japanese hot dogs loved by Jinyoung. It was short, but it was a truly fun experience making small talk over food. It was full of laughter, smiles, red faces from embarrassment (because Minhyun that it would be a good idea on spilling a little more detail about Jinyoung’s younger days) and just about anything under the sun. In retrospect, it was probably safe to say that my stomach hurt from all the laughing. 

Now, here we were, standing on a white sandy beach (under the shade of course) of a huge tree, with the clear blue waters lapping on the beach as they came and went. Looking around, I came to realise that there was simply nobody here apart from the few couples who were probably spending the much-needed quality time with one another. 

Unlike Busan, or at least what it was perceived to be, it was a quieter place and has probably never made it much to the mainstream touristy websites that everyone visited, which explained that it was a well-kept secret among the locals themselves. It was easy to see why, considering that this place was far from huge, and a crowd of tourists would definitely mar the scenery and the serene vibe that the area had. 

It was all thanks to Minhyun that we could enjoy an ice box full of thirst quenching drinks which he had prepared the day before, as well as a few “organic, homemade” yoghurt popsicles. Indeed, it was not hard to see why he was known as everyone’s dream man back in high school (according to Jinyoung). It was not only because of his looks, but his personality made him even more attractive. On the other hand, Jinyoung mentioned that he had never brought any girls home either because of his surprisingly shy and awkward nature around the opposite sex or he was simply too absorbed and overwhelmed with the stresses of getting into Yonsei. Other than the refreshments, he had also brought a portable Bluetooth speaker as well as a picnic mat, and a few towels just in case we wanted to swim. 

For now, he had left us to our own devices to explore the village for his project and the possible sites that he could turn into works of art. To him, even a grey brick wall could be turned into art, if taken at the right angle with the right amount of lighting and the correct functions with his handy camera. He was truly amazing, especially for someone who was once handicapped due to an accident which cost him the nerves in his fingers. He never explained what exactly happened, but that had already made it more inspiring, which also explained why he was someone that everyone looked up to.

And with that, Jinyoung and I laid on the picnic mat in silence once again (after applying a whole bunch of sunblock), listening to the waves, letting the summer breeze caress our faces and smelling the fresh air from a pretty tropical village. It was true that this was my first time going on a trip like this, and it was more than I could have ever asked for. I did not know much about the history of Minhyun and Jinyoung, but they were a few of the nicest people that I had ever met. Considering the hardships that they had gone through, they did not deserve them at all with their hearts of gold. 

_ Sungwoon hyung, I wish you could have been here to join us. Can you believe that we have actually never gone on a trip like this? I’m 18 and you’re 22 and yet, we’ve never experienced anything like this?  _

I turned to look at Jinyoung for a moment, and was once again captivated by his sharp features. His eyes were closed and he was clearly in a state of peace and calm in his nap, resting his head on his arm behind it. Honestly, I could stare at him all day and I found my eyes starting to trace his features, especially his nose and his exceptionally defined cheekbones. 

However, when I had reached the shape of his small heart-shaped lips, I felt all the thoughts leave my head in a split second and I continued to lie on the mat, stunned at myself for thinking such a thing. Despite the waves crashing against the rocks and the shore, together with the howling wind and the rustling leaves, I felt that I could still hear the sound of my heartbeat accelerate a little faster than usual.

_ Stop it Jihoon. What if he wakes up, he’s going to think that you’re a creep. And besides, how would I even know if he swings that way? In fact, I don’t even know myself. What is this feeling anyway? When I’m with him, I feel happy, forgetting about my origins for a moment. He makes my heart race and most importantly, he makes me smile… genuinely. Jihoon, why are you such an emotional train wreck lately?  _

I groaned as I went through my own thoughts, and I must have done it a little too loudly because Jinyoung began to shuffle a bit in his sleep, mumbling some incoherent words, before blindly grabbing his hat and putting it on top of his face. He returned to his slumber quickly and I found myself frozen in place, afraid that he would have opened his eyes to see that my face was not exactly far from his. 

Hence, after taking a few deep breaths to calm my palpitating heart, I followed suit and put an arm at the back of my head, closing my eyes and falling into a deep slumber once again. 

********

“Jihoon hyung… hyung…”

I shot up, only to realise that I had broken out in cold sweat and the towel that I had placed at the back of my head halfway through my nap was found drenched. I let out a couple of huffs and puff, shaking my head to dissipate the thoughts of the ironic nightmare that I had just witnessed. 

It was as if I had woken up in a dark room, similar to my home, but I was greeted with a bloodied up Sungwoon bound to a rickety old wooden chair. There was fear written all over his entire being but his face remained resolute as he looked up to meet the dark, tall and looming figure in front of him. The strange figure had a broken soju bottle in his hand and he himself gripped the shards until his own hand started to stain with his own blood. 

I wanted to move. I wanted to get up quickly just so that I could try to protect Sungwoon but I was unable to and it was as if the force of gravity had increased by tenfold. I crawled, shouting as I did so, or at least that was what I thought I was doing. But Sungwoon only looked at me with a pained smile, shaking his head, as if telling me that there was no point in fighting anymore. 

_ HYUNG! Please, fight back. I know you can do it.  _

_ No… I can’t. It’s too late now. And besides, I don’t mind going through this anyway. I’ll be in a better place, so don’t worry about me Jihoon.  _

_ Hyung, you promised me. YOU PROMISED ME.  _

_ I’m sorry.  _

And with that, I saw the figure lift up the broken glass shard and stabbed it into Sungwoon’s torso. The latter was coughing out blood by this point and I tried to move, but my muscles felt as if they could function no longer and all I could do was scream and beg the killer to stop hurting my older brother. He pulled the shard out eventually, before placing it in a different spot this time; Sungwoon’s chest but far from his heart. 

And that was when Jinyoung had woken me up from the nightmare. 

My clothes too were drenched with my own sweat and I buried my face in my hands, rubbing it a little to shake off the thought that sent a shiver down my spine.

“Hyung… You tossed and turned quite a bit and you kept mumbling something about a promise and it was as if you were telling someone to stop whatever they were doing. Are you… alright?

“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, it was… nothing. H-how long have you been up?” 

I turned to look back at his expression, but it was clear that Jinyoung did not buy my first sentence. It was not something to be dismissed, but he cannot afford to find out for his own sake. I did not want him to worry because he does not deserve that. He has enough to worry about now, why bother with someone whom he had only met for the past 3 months? 

“I’ve been up for a while,” he said, looking out into the horizon, “I just ate one of Minhyun’s strawberry milk and yoghurt popsicles. You should really try them, especially the mango and melon one. Trust me, they are so much better than Melonas.” 

I chuckled at his sentence and he smiled back, before opening up the ice box to fish out a mango one for me. 

“For this, he used a fresh mango smoothie combined with cheesecake ice cream, before adding in a little more cubes of fresh fruit into the mix. Take this, it melts pretty quickly.” And he passed me a cup, which I took with a hand before muttering a quick thank you. 

It was silent for a while, especially since I struggled with the ice cream that started dripping seconds after I took a bite off it and it made me feel instantly awake, diffusing all the stress that I had just experienced from that terrifying nightmare. It brought a sense of refreshment the moment it came into contact with my warm hands, as if sending waves of electricity through me. 

“Hyung… Are you sure you are okay? You started sweating all of a sudden and I wanted to wipe it off but I was afraid that you might wake up if I did and---” 

“I’m fine, Jinyoung. It’s really nothing to worry about. Stop stressing out about it.” 

_ Oh no, did that come out a little too harsh?  _

I turned to look at him this time, instead of just speaking to thin air and his face looked like it had fallen a little as he rested his chin on his knees, looking around occasionally from the sea, to the sand and back again. 

“Hey… I’m really okay. I just didn’t want you to worry. It’s a day to have fun, be free and feel relaxed for a day away from the hectic pace of life in the city. I’m sorry if I worried you Jinyoung-ah and I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I’m sorry…” 

It did hurt to see him like this and at that moment, I felt like a jerk because how could I even have the audacity to speak to someone possibly diagnosed with depression like that? He already tried to end his life once and ever since I found him there, he has taken care of me and even taught me a little more about his dream profession. Is this how I repay him? Obviously not. 

“It’s okay hyung…” Jinyoung said, giving me the small smile I was familiar with once again, “I’m sorry too for being so nosy.” 

“Jihoonie!! Baejinnie!” A familiar voice called out, and the both of us turned to see the source of the voice, meeting with a very happy and excited Minhyun. 

“I’ve taken some pictures of the area and even though I have not thought of my project title, I wanted to touch on something more personal, yet unconventional and something that would get people talking. Would the both of you like to be my models then?” 

“I wouldn’t mind, I suppose? But Jihoon hyung might not have tried modelling before. How is it going to work then?” 

“Oh don’t worry, we can just teach him. It’s not that difficult and besides, with his great looks, I’m sure he can pull off anything, whatever the pose or even whatever the outfit. However… Jihoon-goon, do you mind wearing something of a shorter sleeve to accommodate the theme of my photo shoot?” 

I felt pressured to do that because I knew that there were some visible scars on my arms, but Minhyun needed this project to work and even though I had not known him for very long, I knew how much his assignments and work meant to him. Hence, even though my body was telling me no, my mind did the opposite and I found myself nodding my head before seeing him jog off to the car to get an extra change of clothes that he had apparently prepared beforehand. 

“He’s always prepared. You’ll notice even more later on.” Jinyoung mentioned with a chuckle, and Minhyun was back faster than we knew it with a paper bag in his hand. 

“Here you go Jihoon-sshi! It consists of a white tank top, a thin green striped shirt as an outerwear, khaki coloured bermudas and white sandals. There is also a straw hat for you to wear during the shoot when I tell you to as well as a pair of sunglasses to hang in the middle of your tank top. There’s a toilet just straight ahead for you to change. Jinyounggie, could you accompany him please? And help him if he needs it. You know the drill.” 

“Okay hyung. Jihoon hyung, come on, let’s go get you changed. To me, I think your long sleeves need to go. The more I stare at you, the more I wonder how have you not fainted from heat stroke yet. Time for a change, hyung, and I cannot wait for you to do that now.” 

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

When I had noticed Jihoon in the outfit that Minhyun had bought for him, it was adorable to say the least, and a breath of fresh air to his typical fashion of long sleeved tops and ripped bottoms. Nevertheless, it always remained colourful and the most basic thing that he owned was probably his dark blue denim jeans and he rarely wore that, preferring either brighter, acid washed jeans or black ripped jeans. I suppose the dark blue denim jeans was simply too basic for him. 

Unfortunately, I had also begun to notice a few strange things here and there and one of the most obvious ones would be the fact that his skin was almost littered with old scars on his legs and arms. It was clear that it was not from a fall because it was way too severe, especially with the white faint lines that had probably been there for a while. Nevertheless, I tried my hardest not to look, or it would have been way too awkward for Jihoon, who probably did not want to show his scars either. 

“This is so different from my usual style… but I do like it.” He said in a happy tone, speaking to no one in particular, and I nodded with a smile on my face, glad that he actually liked it. 

“Always trust Minhyun for fashion tips,” I replied as we walked back to where Minhyun was setting up his equipment for the photo shoot, “He was the one who chose my suit for me at the Meraki exhibition.”

“Ahh, Minhyun hyung really has good taste in clothing. Even if it’s not for himself, he makes others look good too. This is the first time that I actually feel confident in something that I’m wearing. I… don’t show my skin very much, so this is pretty refreshing.” 

“The both of you are finally back and I thought I would have to wait till sunset,” Minhyun said in a playfully sarcastic tone, “I hope you like your outfit Jihoonie. You get to keep it, you know? Take it as my gift to you.” 

I knew Jihoon would reject it but Minhyun stopped him before he could say anything else, simply because he had already walked away and prompted us to come along with him with a wide smile on his face. I asked him about the things that we would be leaving behind and he told us that he had already asked the staff of the seaside restaurant nearby to take care of our stuff, and he was not wrong when he said so. At the very moment we had taken our leave, there were already people near our things and judging by their uniforms, they were truly the staff of the seaside restaurant who gave us friendly and happy waves when I looked at them. 

_ As expected of Minhyun, what can he not do?  _

With that, we had already reached our first shooting site and Minhyun motioned for us to come closer before giving us the idea that he wanted to portray for his storyboard. According to his elaborate description, he wanted to portray a hint of explicit friendship and implicit romance, explaining that he wanted to create the idea of 2 boys experiencing the happiest memories in their lives, only for the audience to realise later that all these are simply memories of a boy looking onto the horizon with a smile on his face with a ring in his hand. In a nutshell, the theme that he had to portray was the idea of memories, relationships and significant places close to home.

“I figured the both of you would fit this part. Shall we get started then?” And the both of us nodded, excited about what Minhyun could bring out through photographs alone. True, the story could be deemed a little sensitive and we asked Jihoon whether it was okay with him and he nodded in an excited manner. 

“Great! The both of you can stand against this brick wall first. I will guide you along, don’t worry. And here we go with 1… 2…. 3….” 

********

As expected, it was an extremely long shoot. With the sun high in the sky and in our eyes for most of the time and the high humidity, it was a given that we did sweat buckets. At these points, Minhyun was not only the photographer, but almost the equivalent of a manager; ensuring that we drank plenty of water, gave us towels to wipe our sweat and even taught us how to touch up our own makeup. Oh, and not to mention that he made us apply sunblock every hour.

We got a chance to review the pictures eventually, laughing heartily at our unnatural grimaces at times and moments when Jihoon and I were just not ready for the shot, simply because Minhyun was too far away and we could not hear his instructions amidst the crashing waves. Nevertheless, as expected of Yonsei’s Art Major co-valedictorian, there was a huge set of stunning pictures in the archives. There were pictures of us laughing as we looked into the horizon while leaning on the rocks, feeding each other fruits, lying down on the picnic mat with our eyes closed (and one when we had made eye contact, rendering us into a blushing mess), my arm around Jihoon’s shoulder and so much more. 

However, there were two pictures which were probably bound to get people talking and that was simply when our foreheads touched one another, looking into each other’s eyes with a gentle and loving gaze. For the other, it was our 2 faces hidden by a storybook, leaving the audience to wonder what goes on behind it. Truth be told, we were just looking at each other, trying not to laugh in the process. 

After the final picture of me looking into the horizon with a simple monochrome suit and a ring in my hand, Minhyun proceeded to take an extra few profile shots before signalling that he was finally done with his project. With that, we were so happy that we put our arms around each other and danced in a circle with cheers and laughter. We were exhausted by then, but Minhyun only came back with doshiraks and a pot which we could use to cook some instant noodles to satisfy our hunger by this point. It was not easy to cook the noodles with the constant breeze, but we managed anyway, with the help of the extremely kind staff that helped us to watch our stuff earlier. 

“I hope you boys had fun so far.” Minhyun said as he scooped the rice onto his spoon and put the food into his mouth. 

“Yes we did hyung. Thank you for the day out and for the food too!” I replied and Jihoon nodded, before showing Minhyun a thumbs up for his great outdoor hosting skills. After he had swallowed the rice, he continued, “Thank you hyung. I hope you do well for your project.” 

“I think I would, especially when I had you boys in it. I know my classmates who would probably submit the simplest projects ever, but I figured that I should make an edge over the rest. Hence, I plan to do some digital art to convey the story a little better. What do you think?” 

We thought for a bit as I pictured the visual in my head and the both of us nodded with wide smiles on our faces, before eating in silence and enjoying the sounds of nature around us instead. It was truly a much-needed breath of fresh air from the stresses of the city, school life and the fast paced way of life. Here, life slowed down a tad, giving one just the right amount of time to appreciate their surroundings as well as the people more, just like what I was experiencing now. 

From then onwards, once again, we were left to do our own things and Minhyun was off wandering again, not without making sure that my phone was on should anything happen to the two of us. We were back to what we were before, sitting on picnic mat and quenching our thirst with Minhyun’s refreshing concoction of mocktails and juices that he had specially prepared for all of us. 

_ Should I give him his gift now? Is it too awkward? What if he rejects it?  _

Despite the thoughts running through my mind, my body was already reaching out for my haversack, rummaging through it for the gift and hoping that it was not crushed by now. I felt the familiar box that I had kept it in and took it out, before closing the bag and sitting right next to Jihoon, who was leaning against the tree this time with his eyes closed. 

“Hyung…” I said in a gentle and soft tone, surprised that he would actually wake up to see what I wanted. 

“Hmm??” He hummed, opening one eye before taking a stretch, “What’s up?”

_ Okay Jinyoung, don’t you dare stutter now.  _

“I-I-I made you something so here you go.” 

_ Great, you simply rushed through your words, stuttered and nearly tossed the box at him. Fantastic job.  _

Jihoon chuckled at my antics, before running his fingers through my hair and ruffling it again. Meanwhile, my ears were probably as red as a lobster and I felt the familiar warmth overwhelm my entire being, while Jihoon cooed about how adorable and awkward I was, even after we had known each other for more than a month or two. 

“Woah… This is so pretty! When did you make this?”

Now, he held it in both hands, looking at it and examining all the little details that I had added. After much consideration as to how I could make the small little vase meaningful, I had decided to simply paint it with the colours that I had remembered from Jihoon’s rainbow coloured long sleeve when we met for the very first time, adding in thin outlines of flowers all around the vase with white translucent ink. Yes, it took me everything not to keep it minimal. It was not going to be mine to begin with, it was Jihoon’s and hence, it was only right if I made one to his taste.

“I made this about 3 days ago? The painting took the bulk of it but… I’m glad you like it.” 

“What am I supposed to put inside though? It’s a little too small for real flowers and what’s all these pieces of special paper at the bottom? Am I supposed to put all these inside?” 

I nodded, taking the box and showing him all the different colours of paper that Minhyun had kindly cut up for me when he had the time. And that was when I explained to Jihoon what the different colours of paper represented. For example, blue represented sadness, red represented love or anger, yellow represented happiness, green represented new experiences and so on and so forth. Jihoon nodded as I explained and when he asked what he was going to do when it was filled up, I told him that the vase would serve as a token for change. When it was full, all he could do was to open it and see how his life has been so far by reading whatever he had written. For those that really mattered to him, he could keep it in the box. If not, he could simply throw it away, as if he was getting rid of all the negativity that weighed him down. 

Suddenly, I was soon met with a tight embrace as Jihoon wrapped my entire frame in his arms. Nevertheless, it was a warm one, with him rubbing circles into my back and chin pressed against my shoulders. Sure, I was a little taken aback with his sudden sign of affection, but I reciprocated it anyway with the same motions and a wide grin on my face. 

We stayed like this for a while, before breaking up the hug and realising that the both of us were as red as cooked lobsters with warm, toasty cheeks and fiery red ears. We chuckled a little, but took in deep breaths, as if trying to calm ourselves down after the hug. 

“Thank you Jinyoung-ah. It really means a lot to me that I would have an outlet now to write my true feelings instead of keeping it all inside of me. I never thought I would need it, but now that I have it, I really appreciate it. It must have taken a lot of time and effort, no?” 

“Uhh… I wouldn’t say that it took a lot of time, but it did require a little bit of thought. I can teach you if you want, perhaps next week or the week after that?” 

“Really?? That’ll be great!!” Jihoon exclaimed as his eyes sparkled with happiness and delight at the thought of me teaching him the ways of pottery and modern art, “but… could I ask you something?” 

I nodded and he replied a little sheepishly, “I know I don’t have much to offer but I was wondering whether you wanted to learn how to dance. It will serve as a repayment for whatever you have done for me.” 

At this point, I was overjoyed, simply because I had always wanted to learn how to dance. According to Minhyun, I had absolutely no grace and flair for the stage, but it was truly something that I appreciated and wanted to understand a little more about it. I had quite a number of friends I knew who were dancers, namely a relatively close senior of mine, Park Woojin. It was always cool when I went for his recitals and all his dance moves made the audience jaws drop. He had stage presence; something which attracted people very much, and was extremely popular in school with greetings from at least 50 members from the student population per corridor. 

Unfortunately, I had not kept in much contact with him, but from what I had heard, he was currently pursuing Modern Dance in Hanyang University and was also said to be doing extremely well in his modules, both in theory and practice. On hindsight, the thought did remind me to give him a call later and perhaps catch up on certain things real quick, or even arrange for a meetup. 

And so I agreed, a little too happy for my own good, earning a laugh and a gentle poke on the cheeks from Jihoon. Indeed, his smile was truly enough to brighten someone’s day and I was sure that even a blind man could feel the positivity that Jihoon exuded with his smile alone. 

“What was that for hyung?” I chuckled, before feeling the familiar warmth on my cheeks again for the umpteenth time that day. 

“I don’t know… I just felt like poking your cheek. You’re cute anyways so why not?” He winked, earning a nudge from me using my elbows while I tried my very best to make my pink cheeks less obvious to Jihoon. 

The day went by faster than I wanted it to and soon, we found ourselves back in the car on the way back to the city centre. The sky was an orange colour now, with hints of red, and I took my phone to snap a picture or two, so that I could update the blog that I owned. Looking back, the scenery was truly a beauty with the silhouettes of the houses and the trees accentuated with the setting sun behind them. I could not help but wind down the window for a while, just so that I could take my last breath of the cool sea breeze. 

That was when I felt a bump on my shoulder and I turned, only to see Jihoon’s head on my shoulder. He was clearly passed out for the day and let out a bunch of light snores as he nuzzled more into my shoulder to find a comfortable spot. Sadly, I did not have the most comfortable of shoulders and they were definitely not the strongest, hence, I adjusted myself as well because there was no way I wanted his head to fall off the crook of my neck. He was clearly sleepy and this was probably the most amount of activity that he had ever done in quite a while. 

“Jihoon-goon---oh dear, he’s asleep. Baejinnie, do you know where I should drop him?” 

I hesitated for a moment because there was no way I could tell Minhyun where Jihoon really came from. Yes, he deserved to know, but not now and I had a feeling Jihoon wanted to hide that much of his being for his own sake. It was already clear that Jihoon was embarrassed with the fact that he came from such a dilapidated neighbourhood, and I could not risk it. 

“Hyung, just go back to Sinchon-dong first. I’ll guide you along the way. Don’t worry, I know where he needs to go.” 

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

“Jihoon-hyung…. hyung… you need to wake up now. You’re home.” 

When I felt the gentle tap on my shoulder, I opened my eyes, only to realise that I was back in the city. However, that statement had also got me a little jittery, worried as to where I might have been brought and thanked the heavens silently when I saw the familiar bus stop that was the closest to my home. 

It was almost 9pm by now and considering the already empty town in the day, there were absolutely no points for guessing about what it would be like at night. There were some office workers who stayed around in this area, but they did not loiter around and instead headed straight back home to get the well deserved rest for the following day, or week, ahead. Furthermore, other than the occasional bars, clubs and restaurants, that was about it. In fact, the town was only crowded on the weekends and since it was a Wednesday today, it was a ghost town in other words. 

“Jihoon-sshi, are you finally awake?” A familiar voice spoke, and I got up, only to realise that Minhyun was smiling at me with his crescent moon eyes and the fact that I had been leaning on Jinyoung the entire time. By now, he was already dead asleep too, folding his arm and placing it against the window to support his head with his elbow. Initially, he was the one who had woke me up, but with his half lidded eyes, it was obvious that he was going to sleep sooner or later. 

“I hope you had a good trip today. Thank you for coming all the way to the Busan area with us. I’m sorry I could not bring you back on time. Will your parents be okay?” 

_ As long as he’s not home, I’ll be alright.  _

“Y-yes, they’ll be okay. I told them that I might be late today.” 

_ Good job Jihoon.  _

“That’s good to know. Here,” and that was when Minhyun had passed me a bag with several containers stacked up on one another, “We did not want to disturb you and considering your tired limbs, we decided to get you some delicious samgyetang and white rice to rejuvenate you for the day ahead tomorrow. If you don’t want to come in tomorrow, it’s totally fine. I mean, you do need your rest…” 

“I’ll be okay hyung,” I assured, receiving the bag with 2 hands and took in the aroma of the soup, mouth watering instantly and stomach growling loudly, “I think I will be able to come in tomorrow. If not… I’ll just let Jinyounggie know. T-thank you for the food hyung. You really did not need to.” 

“Nah, you worked hard today, so it’s only right if I get you something to show my gratitude. Without the both of you, I would have never come up with the idea for my project,” He smiled again, before looking at the time and continued in a hurried manner, “Nevertheless, I think it’s time for you to go home, no? Your parents might get worried.” 

“S-sure hyung. Thank you and… have a safe night.” However, I did not forget to tuck Jinyoung in with the pink blanket that I had taken notice of and gave him a light ruffle on his head, arranging his hair and whispering a soft “Good night” as well. 

When I got out of the car, I stood for a while to see it drive off, waving at Minhyun again who stuck his hand out the window to say goodbye. I stood there for a moment with the food in one hand and Jinyoung’s gift in another, looking down at them and realising how my heart lifted at the thought of how much I had received from them. Not only did they replace the meaning of “family”, they had also filled in for my parents and my brother, giving me a sense of comfort, love and security, just like a typical family. 

I felt my lips curve into a smile and I began to walk back home with a skip in my steps, but it was short lived when I remembered the time that it was already 9pm. That was when I decided to make a run for it yet again to get a chance in stepping into the house before my father comes home drunk and possibly highly intoxicated on illegal substances once again. Who knew? He was pretty much unpredictable. 

But there was a difference. Back then, it used to be filled with fear, doubt and uncertainty. Now? It was filled with gratefulness, ease and excitement. With people like these behind me, I knew I had nothing to fear anymore. My father could stop me, but I found the courage to get what I truly deserved. 

_ Hyung, I think I’m winning this battle, but I do miss you. Have you been well? Have you been taking care of yourself? And I hope you will come back soon. I want to show you how much I have grown and changed to become a stronger and better person. Minhyun hyung and Jinyoung did that and I do wish you to meet them soon so come back hyung and I think we’ll make it, just like how you’ve always taught me.  _


	8. True happiness is when I'm with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly, this chapter came out a lot shorter than I thought. ^^;; Unfortunately, I did experience a fair bit of writer's block as I wrote this so I would like to add a disclaimer in advance that this might not be on par with the other chapters in terms of its writing style. :( Nevertheless, I am glad that all of you have enjoyed it so far, even probing me with questions as to why certain things happen and giving me the opportunity to get to know my readers a little better. :) 
> 
> With regards to the progress of this fanfiction, I had initially aimed to finish it within 11 chapters, however, it might actually be impossible to do so. ^^;; We'll see how it goes but for now, I hope all of you enjoy the latest instalment of "When Two Worlds Collide"! :)

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

And so it turned out that Minhyun did indeed get an A for his photography project once again, as expected of the Visual Arts co-valedictorian (the other was apparently Yoojung, who had also received an A-grade as well for her own). When he showed me the project that he had submitted, I was beyond surprised, especially with the fact that Minhyun did not know too much about graphic design. Sure, he had asked me for tips on how to do overlays and adjustments through Photoshop and I was always there to show it to him, but he did not ask often. Yet, he was still able to produce something that was top-notch and of excellent quality. 

On that day, he had taken approximately a maximum of 250 photographs, selecting 100 in total to add to his 4-framed artwork. By digitising them, he made the picture of me looking into the horizon with a smile on my face look as if I was looking through the memories of “Jihoon” and I in real life, instead of just the blue and relatively cloudless sky. He had overlaid the pictures, making them less opaque than usual, before collaging them into a masterpiece. The 2nd frame was as if Jihoon was looking straight at me from the side view with smiles on our faces. The 3rd frame, however, was the picture that had a book obscuring the faces of Jihoon and I, but he had applied a slightly darker filter and he finally ended it off with a detailed shot of the ring in my hand. 

There was no need for much words to be said, because one could simply tell that they told a story of love and friendship; how it does not always work out for some people, leaving the other with words unsaid and regret. However, there was still the aspect of closure and it was clear that through the entire art piece that there was still a form of closure for the audience and the “characters” in this story. In fact, this probably explained why Minhyun deserved an A-grade because he was able to tell a story from start to end without the need for many words. All he needed was his artistic photographs and a flair for digital art, which would land him success with a huge guarantee. 

Therefore, Yonsei had decided to showcase his artwork by one of the many corridors in the school, and he would finally have it back in a month’s time. Minhyun was always worried about how people around him treated his artwork, which explained why he was always cautious and untrustworthy of others who volunteered to take care of his artwork, with the exception of me, of course. In fact, there was no way I had any thoughts of destroying his artwork, simply because there was no reason as to why anyone would do that. 

Minhyun had worked hard for his dreams and he did put in the genuine amount of effort required, never sleeping on his laurels despite his inner confidence about his grades. Destroying his artwork, which has happened before, is just… not nice. Sure, he did succeed in the end by painting a completely new artwork at that point in time, but it was extremely difficult, rage-inducing and frustrating for him to do so. I had witnessed all that and how much he had to tell himself that there was something wrong with the artwork, but truthfully, it was just mean people who just wanted to ruin his reputation of scoring stellar grades in every module and examination. That was it. 

Nevertheless, Minhyun kept his reward for the day when Jihoon was coming to the house for his typical art sessions. He said that it was only right if Jihoon got the treat too, considering how hard he himself worked for someone who had no experience in modelling but tried it anyway instead of shying away from the camera. To me, and especially to Minhyun, that was something admirable and definitely deserving of a reward. It was rare to find someone who had the same amount of courage as he did, especially when they had not done this before; afraid of the comments that would flood in and how people viewed them as. 

However, Minhyun did make a chilling observation during the process, saying that Jihoon seemed to have plenty of scars across his arm and limbs as he tidied up the pictures. I froze at that statement, but said nothing as Minhyun seemed to have brushed it aside as well. It was hard to say whether Jihoon was a clumsy child back in the day, but strangely, all the scars that I had noticed on that day itself could not have been due to falls. It was rare to find scars on the back of someone’s calves and thighs, because no matter how one fell, it was almost impossible to attain such cuts and injuries in those two places. 

Then again, who was I to judge? 

As usual, I did go for my typical sessions with Doctor Kang (Seonha) and told her about Jihoon, in full detail this time. It was as if all my worries and fears had disappeared, just because I had Jihoon. I described to her how he looked like as well as his personality and what he does in his daily life. Sure, I still covered up the fact on where he truly comes from and my other observations but she only nodded with a smile on her face, confirming the fact that I was really on my road to recovery. She asked if I had told Minhyun about all these, and I shook my head sheepishly, explaining the fact that he was there for almost all the occurrences. 

With that, she only smiled as she took down some notes and let me go after that. It was clear that I had made her proud and I was glad I did, especially after all the difficulty that I had put her through during my stages of depression, especially when it came almost immediately after Minhyun’s. With the thought in mind, it did put a smile on my face and I could finally see some form of light at the end of the tunnel after all these years. 

Now, here I was getting ready for the weekly meetings with Jihoon, except that I decided to put some extra effort into my outfit today because Minhyun had given me a share of his reward instead. It was a pity that he could not make it due to a new art assignment and hence, decided that he should just give me some money to spend on Jihoon and I for our own day out. I was not sure whether my outfit would work, but as I looked at myself in the mirror, I smiled and took my camera, before heading out for another day ahead.

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

As expected (or should I say “As always”?), my moments of happiness and bliss were always short lived, simply because my father was back home. He had not been for about 2 weeks now and only came home one fateful night, staggering into the home and throwing himself onto the floor with a loud thud in the wee hours of the morning. 

It was pretty sickening to say the least, but the sound woke me up, and I got out of my bed to open the room of my door slightly to see that it was truly my father who walked in, and not a random burglar who would probably leave disappointed because there was absolutely nothing to steal around here (unless it’s from the mafia). Thankfully, it was, as I could recognise from the familiar silhouette I could make out with the use of the limited warm lighting that came from the corridor. 

Unfortunately, it also meant that I had to keep my guard up. I had to be careful how I acted, what I said and especially what time I came home. Freedom was not on my side this time around and it was only sooner or later when my father would probably release all his anger and frustrations on his very own human punching bag again. It was not a matter of whether he would actually do it or not, it was a guaranteed. 

And that also meant that I needed to stock up on my health supplies. Sungwoon had given me enough to see the doctor if I really needed to, but if one stayed with a drug addict and alcoholic who’s always in need of money to fill his own selfish needs, even a doctor was hard to come by. There were plenty around the area, but it was impossible to afford a simple consultation and what more the medicine? 

I opened the first aid box that I had kept under my bed in order to keep stock of the things I had and the things I really needed. They ran out fast, but I made sure that they were always ready when I needed them and luckily, I was able to get through life without infections, diseases and all sorts of things that could be associated with injuries. In fact, I was thankful that I had relatively strong bones, escaping without broken bones every single time. 

Luckily, I had Jinyoung’s gift to keep me company and little did I know that he had also given me a diary to practice on my drawings and write about my own personal experiences while learning Art. According to Jinyoung, it would be a way to keep track of my learning progress and I had been using it well, drawing and trying my best to improve myself. It was hard, especially with the first-hand guidance but I did it anyway (or at least I like to think that I did). As for the little vase that he had given me, I had already penned down all sorts of moments to fill up the vase in order to get some things off my chest and mind. 

_ I want to run away.  _

_ Why does it have to be this way?  _

_ What’s keeping me here? I don’t deserve to be here and yet, I come back, every single time.  _

_ I worry about Dad, even if it hurts.  _

These were the few things that I had written in the vase and there it sat and stayed. Jinyoung told me to empty it out only when it was full; that way, I could be sure that I had made full use of it and besides, it would only be effective then, to learn about myself and my emotions better. Only the Almighty knew how Jinyoung managed to find out that I had no one to talk to, so this was his way of ensuring that I would be okay. 

_ Indeed, he is a smart kid, just like Minhyun.  _

It was only a matter of time anyway before my father’s violent tendencies came back. I did try my best to avoid him, coming home exceptionally early to lock myself in my own room and pushing the bedside table in front of the door. I really did do whatever I could to protect myself as best as I could, because I did not want to be a pushover anymore. If I wanted to wait for Sungwoon, I could do my part of attempting to fight back. 

Sadly, it just had to be a day when I just needed a cup of water, requiring me to step out of the protective barrier that I had built to quench my thirst. And that was when my father came home, staggering into the house as usual but he walked up towards me with prominent veins lining his arms, neck and temples before throwing a hard punch on the right side of my face. 

For obvious reasons, I was a little too shocked to respond and fell onto the ground, holding onto my cheek shortly after to stabilise myself and try my best to alleviate the pain. But that was not the end; he sat on top of me and punched me again. And again. And again. Until I could taste the familiar taste of iron in my mouth. My teeth were miraculously intact but I could feel the blood starting to coagulate in my mouth so I turned my head and spat it out on the olive green tiles that lined our kitchen. 

“Did you think your father would believe you if you said you would not run away? I saw fucking Park Sungwoon today, and he ran away like the little coward he always was. And you? I bet he’s coming back for you. Will he have it? Maybe… Maybe not…” 

He stood up, walking towards the kitchen counter to grab the electric kettle that currently contained boiling hot water and poured its contents all over my body. I protected my face with my arms but I could feel the immediate scalding feeling that the water brought and I cried out in pain. My eyes were closed and he began to pour the water on my thighs. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as he continued to pour the water but it was on my feet this time. 

“Do you think I would let you run away so quickly, Park Jihoon? Your mother left me and your brother ran away from me, leaving me to deal with an insolent and burdensome child like you who does nothing but sit at home all day. God knows what the fuck you do, but from what I can see, you are absolutely useless and would probably do a better job buried 6 feet under.” 

That was when he took the closest knife that he could find, but before he could do anything, the adrenaline that I needed rushed through me as I forced myself to stand up to grab the kettle from the kitchen counter and give it a swing at his body. I did not care where it hit and gave him a hard kick to his legs, causing him to fall over and lose the knife in the process. 

Thanking my lucky stars, it gave me the time to run back to the safety of my room and I locked the doors before pushing the bedside table in front of the door again to prevent it from opening. My father continued to pound on the door mercilessly and I was sure that the hinges of the door were going to give way, but it did not and soon, I could only hear the heavy huffs and puffs outside. I was curled up into a little ball under my desk, biting my fingernails to calm my shaking nerves.

“Park Jihoon, I swear to all the Gods that next time, you will not be so lucky. One day, your luck would run out and by then, you can be sure that you will not be able to see the light of day anymore. Go to hell son, that’s where you belong together with your fucking whore of a mother and coward of a brother.” 

The pin drop silence was deafening and the dam which kept my tears inside opened, leaving my tears flowing mercilessly down my cheek as I buried my face into my hands, letting out whimpers and sobs. Sure, my body was hurt all over again with burns, cuts, bruises and abrasions, but the heart was in pain too and I cried, thinking of how my life had ended up to become like this. 

However, the burns took over my emotions by tenfold after a while and I soon realised that if I did not attend to them soon, I might actually pass out from the pain and hence, I scrambled to fetch my first aid box from the bed and opened it to see if I had anything from burns and like I said before, I was always prepared. Lifting up my shorts and shirt, it was clear that the whole of my body was red from the boiling hot water and it stung badly, even when I did not touch the burnt spots. 

Grabbing a towel, I put it in between my mouth and bit into it when I felt too much pain as I applied the cream meant for burns. I did not want to show my father that I was a weakling or someone whom he could take down so easily despite his literal threat. If anything, I had already chosen to live my life for Sungwoon at this point and all that mattered was to survive, even if I was on the brink of death lying unconscious in Sungwoon’s arms? That sounded like the better option. 

For the cuts and bruises, I tended to them like I would normally do, using alcohol swabs, antiseptic cream and ointment that I had managed to get with Sungwoon’s monthly allowance if I had any and luckily, it was effective, which explained why the bruises did not hurt after a day or two. Still, the ache that my body felt did not matter and it was, in fact, insignificant to the aching in my heart. 

********

I woke up the next morning in pain all over again and squinted to adjust to the sudden brightness of my room, proceeding to sit up and stretch my back to get ready for the day. I looked down at my injuries and brushed my fingers against my angry red skin, wincing as I did so. When I reached out for my first aid box, that was when I realised that it was a Wednesday, meaning that I would need to meet Jinyoung at the usual meetup place. Sure, I was in no condition to go, but if I truly wanted to throw off suspicion, I should not stand him up for the meeting.

I stumbled to push the heavy bedside table away from the door and opened the door slowly, scanning my immediate surroundings to see if my father was home. Luckily, he had already stepped out for the day and that meant I could go to the kitchen to hunt for my hidden stash of painkillers. Jinyoung had mentioned that the both of us should meet earlier for this “special day”. Hence, it explained why I needed these painkillers even more or I would not even be able to walk out of the house without ending up with tears in my eyes from my burnt feet.

Popping two pills into my mouth as required, I then went to the bathroom to wash my face and take an icy cold shower despite the burnt marks and injuries which littered my body and the sides of my face. Then again, I had grown immune to the pain and just made sure that I was clean enough. I figured that I should probably cover my eye with an eye patch to cover the sickly purple bruise at the corner of my eye socket, covering it up with the fact that I had a sty. 

I did not have many choices in my wardrobe either, deciding on a simple blue striped white long sleeve t-shirt and black jeans. I knew that it was not wise to suffocate burn marks, but it was the only way I knew to cover myself up from the judgement and suspicion if I were to reveal all of the injuries. With that, I grabbed my black haversack, ensuring that I had my wallet (which was a trusty old paper wallet that I had made for myself), house keys and especially my first aid items so that I could attend to myself if I needed to, and out I was; out of the hell hole I called “home”. 

********

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

As usual, here I was waiting for Jihoon by the booth seat that faced the pavement so that he could see me as he walked down the street. Despite the fact that he came to this same cafe once a week (or more), there will be times when he would blatantly walk past the cafe, stopping in his tracks before turning to see me staring at him through the glass window. It would then result in laughs and some form of teasing, but there was no harmful intent and the both of us could definitely see that. 

The time continued to tick by and the usual baristas were starting to come in for their shifts, waving at me in the process and motioning whether I wanted the same thing that I always ordered when I was with Jihoon. The latter would order a chocolate cream frappe, since he hated the taste of caffeine, while I opted for a vanilla latte. Yes, it was still not thought of well by Minhyun that I was already drinking coffee at such a young age, but with art as a subject and back-to-back deadlines, it was not hard to see why. 

I spotted a familiar figure shortly after and there he was, back to his fashion of long sleeves and jeans, except that they were pretty well coordinated this time around and less of a visual shocker in my eyes. However, he was wearing an eyepatch on his left eye and walked a little slower than usual. In fact, he looked as if he was limping actually, and it was only second nature for me to question the reasons why. 

“H-hello… What’s with the early meetup today? And what happened to Minhyun hyung?” Jihoon chirped, but I could tell that he was trying to mask the pain that he was feeling. 

“What happened to your eye?” I asked, perhaps sounding a little too deadpanned, and I could tell that Jihoon had frozen up with his shifting gaze.

“U-uh… I had a sty and I didn’t want to infect it any further so…” And I could tell with his pleading gaze that he did not want me to ask any more questions. If he was already acting like this with his supposed sty, what more the limp that he walked with? 

And hence, we sat in a little bit of an awkward silence for a while until our drinks arrived, and that prompted Jihoon (to my surprise) to start up a cordial conversation over how I had been and I explained to him that Minhyun had another project which cropped up yesterday and it was something that he needed to complete by next week. Jihoon nodded in understanding and we continued to sit in a relatively less awkward silence, until he asked. 

“What are we going to do today?” 

“Hmm… We could go to Myeongdong this time around. It’s not too far from here, and besides, they have great street food, better than the ones they have here in Sinchon-dong. Remember the rest stop as we made our way to Busan? They have all the food they sold there in Myeongdong itself! Oh, and there’s an arcade too and a whole load of stuff to see!” I replied excitedly, considering that I had not stepped out of the area around my neighbourhood in a while. 

Thankfully, Jihoon’s lip curved into a genuine smile again; something that I was familiar with. It took me everything to keep those thoughts at the back of my head, but I was sure to keep an eye on him should anything unfortunate happen to Jihoon. Only the Almighty would know what was bound to happen. 

It was back to our cordial conversations soon enough and it was filled with smiles and laughter, as well as Jihoon’s growing interest in the arts. It surprised me to say the least, but he was so excited to show me his diary, and I could not help but smile. He was truly a fast learner, and I remembered all the old times of my learning days, which was the reason why I felt as if my heart had been lifted. According to Minhyun, he always mentioned the importance of inspiring others, and I guess one could say that I had done it. 

We drank and talked for a little while more and as Jihoon took his final sip of his drink, I was all ready to go, slinging my bag over my shoulders and motioned to Jihoon whether he was ready to go. He nodded and I found myself slinging an arm around his shoulder; it was almost natural now and he winced a little when I did, perking my attention again, but it was soon brushed off with a seemingly natural smile. 

_ Stop being so curious Jinyoung. There must be a reason why he’s keeping it away from you and that is if he’s hiding anything. Just have fun for today and make his sadness go away.  _

********

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

When we reached Myeongdong, I was definitely surprised, and probably looked like I was from the countryside who had not seen a city with tall skyscrapers and loads of city life. In fact, I probably gawked at the scene before me for a solid 5 minutes, before I heard a familiar chuckle and a tug on my arm, finding myself being dragged into another part of the many streets that Myeongdong probably had. 

“This is one of my favourite ppopgi stores! You can choose one for 2000 won and if you manage to eat the candy leaving the shape in the centre behind, you are awarded a 10,000 won note and 5 free ppopgis! Give it a shot!” Jinyoung said excitedly, handing me one with a heart shape while he picked another one with a star shape. 

The lady running the store smiled as we took it and the both of us reciprocated the gesture, with Jinyoung whipping out 4000 won from his pocket and handing it to the shop owner. I wanted to reject it at first, but I could tell from Jinyoung’s gaze that he was serious about paying. 

“Let me pay for all the food today. This is Minhyun hyung’s treat for us as a sign of gratitude for participating in his project!” 

My attention perked up at the statement and I replied, “Oh, h-how did he do for that project?”

Jinyoung had a proud smile on his face and he told me that Minhyun had scored an A, further explaining what he had done for the project. However, as I continued to listen to his explanation, I found myself lost in his low and melodic voice and that made me surprised in the fact that he probably never tried singing, given that he was so passionate about the visual arts. 

“Hyung, give it a shot! Who knows? You might just win yourself some free candy!” He said, as he began to chew skillfully around the star shape, and I began to do the same, except that mine was a heart shape. 

It only took us a couple of minutes before we realised that we had each succeeded in our respective shapes and the stall owner was left with wide eyes and a hanging jaw, especially when it came to Jinyoung’s star shaped ppopgi. According to her, there were only so few who could get through the nooks and crannies of the star, but Jinyoung did it anyway and as promised, she handed us a bag of 5 ppopgis and a 10,000 won note each. 

At this point, we probably looked like two grown up children who were way too happy with a bag of ppopgi in our hands and only God knows what had happened but Jinyoung and I found our fingers interlaced with one another; it was as if our hands were made for each other. 

Initially, we would let go, reducing to blushing messes and emotional train wrecks as we wiped our seemingly sweaty palms against our pants. This time, it was different, and we just looked into each other’s eyes before a joyful smile crept up on our faces, before taking a walk (or more like a run) to the next place that Jinyoung wanted to take me. 

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

Unfortunately, the day passed faster than we had wished and once again, the sun was to be setting soon, disappearing little by little behind the horizon of Seoul’s city skyline. The sky was in shades of pink, red and blue this time and once again, I took some pictures again with my trusty old DSLR camera. 

“Hyung, could you stand there please? Against the railing and face that way. I just feel like snapping some pictures of you together with this beautiful sunset.” 

At that, Jihoon chuckled but nodded anyway and took my instructions well. In fact, at that very moment, he seemed like he was already a natural at the art of modelling and participating in photo shoots. However, I did notice the slight tinge of pink on his cheeks, despite the relatively dim lighting. Nevertheless, it brought a smile on my face and once I ensured that the settings on my camera were correct and apt for portraits, I began snapping away, telling him to face different directions with different expressions, adding diversity and colour to the huge array of pictures that I had snapped. 

“Okay… This is the last one hyung. Could you just… smile for me this time around? Throw on the most natural smile that you have and for this, I need you to stand facing the sunset. It will be a little difficult getting your smile with the sun behind you.” 

Once in the right position, he flashed a bashful bright smile and even laughed a little while I continued to take even more pictures, making it seem as candid and natural as possible. Indeed, like I had probably mentioned before, he had a beautiful smile and was bound to brighten up someone’s day. Sure, he had an eyepatch now but he was still a beautiful boy with those doe eyes, cute pointy nose, high cheeks and a pretty well-defined jawline. To me, it was strange that he had not been casted yet on the streets, but then again, he did not step out very often either. 

And there we were, lying on the grass patch in each other’s arms. Even though he was older than me, there he was, lying on my outstretched arm as we watched the clouds go by and the sky getting darker little by little. Soon, the moon was out with its light filtering through the leaves and the streetlights were turned on, giving the city an entirely new vibe. Sure, we did lie in silence, but we could not deny the bliss that we felt within us. 

_ Was this what they called… True happiness?  _

Later, a growling noise was heard and I turned to face Jihoon, only to be greeted with him flashing an embarrassed grimace. 

“S-sorry… I know it’s early and we had a pretty late lunch but I’m actually… hungry? If you’re not, it’s totally fine, I can wait…” 

I chuckled and shook my head, before lifting his head gently off my arm and getting up, sending Jihoon an outstretched hand for him to grab so that he could get up as well. He did lose his balance though, and ended up in my arms once again as he wrapped his arms around me to steady himself and prevent a possible fall. With that, we stared at each other for a while, before breaking out into laughter as we reminisced about the first time we had met on the rooftop of Jihoon’s home.

“I’m not sure what your stomach craves for,” I said as I packed my things into my haversack, “but let’s eat something simple today, shall we? There’s a convenience store down the road and I can show you my favourite recipes that I had learnt from Minhyunnie hyung. Come on, I promise, you’ll love it!” 

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

And for the nth time that day, I found myself linking hands with Jinyoung again as we brisk walked to the convenience store, combined with the occasional growling of my stomach and little chuckles from him whenever he heard it. 

Indeed, it had been such a great day with Jinyoung, and I began to forget all the worries, woes and fears that I carried in my heart in the morning. We tried ppopgi, earning ourselves some free ones, window shopped around Jinyoung’s favourite places and even went for a spree on street snacks such as the famous egg bread and freshly squeezed lemonade cider. Lastly, we had also gone to an arcade to try out their variety of games and  _ attempted _ to win the many prizes from the claw machines (to no avail). Despite us ending the day with empty hands, it was the company and the memories that truly mattered to me. 

This time, we talked a whole lot more and I soon started to find out about the more serious side of Jinyoung, especially when it came to his personal life. He revealed the reasons why we had taken art and how Minhyun had helped him to realise his potential and passion for the Arts, which followed shortly after. And it turns out that it was not an easy journey for him too, having to deal with his “mother’s” death and Minhyun’s (surprising) phase of depression. 

As I got to know a little bit more about him, it was safe to say that his story was a little similar to my own, except that he was not exposed to such a violent, bitter and cold environment. In retrospect, I could not help but feel a slight tinge of jealousy well up within me. Nevertheless, I did not reveal too much about myself and my personal life, simply because I did not want to scare Jinyoung away and neither did I want him to worry about me. 

_ He deserves better so don’t be selfish Jihoon. He has a heart of gold and has clearly seen enough of the world to know how fucked up it really is. Don’t add onto it; it’s not the time to do so yet and besides, he doesn’t need to know either.  _

15 minutes had passed since we left the area where we were just at, and both of our faces lit up as we noticed the familiar sign of the convenience store shining brightly at the top of the building with its green, white and red neon lights. 

“Here we are,” Jinyoung said excitedly, pulling me to walk at an even faster pace, “This was one of my favourite places to go to and it’s a real pity that Minhyun hyung can’t be with us today. Once again, the meal’s on me and feel free to pick out whatever you want. They have a huge range of foods here from instant noodles to fried chicken and even churros, so take your pick and feel free to choose whatever you wish.” 

********

“Ahh… That was a good meal. Did you like it hyung?” Jinyoung sighed as he dabbed his mouth gently with a napkin, and I nodded in response while chewing on the scrumptious fried chicken that Jinyoung had recommended.

As always, we were completely stuffed with instant noodles, fried chicken, cider and finally, caramel ice cream bars for dessert. I knew that I had a huge appetite, but I would never expect Jinyoung to have one either. He was tall and lean, but he ate nearly as much as me, which came as a huge surprise. Perhaps it was because he was technically a growing boy (and he was younger than me) so it probably explained the reasons why as to why his appetite was considered to be “enormous”. 

We sat in silence for a little while as I chewed off the remaining fried chicken, but Jinyoung soon broke the silence with a familiar smile and his soothing voice, thanking me for the day out. Of course, I reciprocated the gesture and shot back another smile, before actually expressing my thanks in words after I had swallowed my food.

Jinyoung then took a glance at his watch, before his eyes widened in surprise and he looked at me, before saying in a panicked tone, “Hyung, it’s already 7.15pm. Don’t you need to be home by 7.30pm?” 

My eyes widened at that statement too, and Jinyoung jumped out of his seat immediately to pack his things while I gathered the trash and disposed of them into the nearest dustbin that I saw. Once done, Jinyoung grabbed my hand once again and nearly ran, but I stopped him, saying that it would be even more problematic if one of us happened to throw up in the park. 

He laughed heartily at the comment and shook his head, making a comment that he never expected me to be strangely funny. I tried to process those words in my head, but still laughed anyway, and that was when he placed an arm around my shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze. Unfortunately, that was also the spot in which I had an ugly yellow bruise, causing me to wince at the pain that shot through my entire being.

“Hyung… You alright?” 

“O-oh y-yeah… I’m fine. Don’t worry about me…” 

My voice happened to trail off, but that was when I noticed Jinyoung’s brows furrow, and he probably did not buy anything that I had just said. I looked away though, playing it off with the most natural laughter I could muster, continuing on our way to the bus stop. 

********

And once again, this was something that was nothing new or spectacular- running home from the bus stop. This time, Jinyoung had accompanied me home to the bus stop, but I stopped him from following me any further.

To put it into perspective, if my neighbourhood was already dangerous in the day, it was going to be even worse at night. Also, there was simply no need for him to, and hence I came up with all sorts of reasons why he did not need to follow me such as the fact that Minhyun was probably worried for him. However, it was all because I wanted to protect him. God knows what would happen on this very night and in my neighbourhood, it was safe to say that happenings were shrouded in uncertainty, doubt and unpleasant surprises. 

After we said our goodbyes in a firm embrace, we then walked off into opposite directions, and that was when I took the opportunity to make a run for it into the darkness in order to get back to my neighbourhood. I was familiar with the area and there was simply no need for bright streetlights to see where I was going anyway. Truth be told, brighter lights would definitely be much better but I assumed that my survival instinct would not fail me if I truly needed it. 

I was not sure whether it was because of the sudden increase in frequency in which I found myself running home, but I noticed that I had become even fitter. I was able to control my breathing and felt less of an ache in my legs, but I continued on anyway, running up the staircase to the 9th floor where I stayed. 

So far, it was a quiet night, only with the pale yellow moon hanging in the sky with puffy clouds and the occasional sound of crickets creaking in the darkness. There did not seem to be any sign of danger whatsoever, and hence, I found myself heaving a subconscious sigh of relief when the thought crossed my mind. 

_ And once again, all I need to hope for now is that I reach home before Dad does.  _

I pushed against the door as quietly as I could, only to let out a squeaky and loud noise from the hinges that had not been greased for the longest time. I definitely cringed at the noise, but froze, taking a moment to scan my surroundings. 

However, despite the silence, I heard the sound of books being thrown on the floor and I noticed that my room door had been opened a little, with a little light piercing the darkness as much as it possibly could in that one small area outside. 

With that, I tried to tiptoe as lightly as I could across the seemingly creaky floorboards, but as soon as I got closer to my room, my heart rate had started to increase at an exponential rate and my palms began to break into cold sweat with a shiver running down my spine. Just with the movement of the light, I could tell that there was someone in my room. 

_ Oh no. _

I mustered as much courage as I could at that point and took a deep breath silently, ready to defend myself if I needed to. Unfortunately, when I pushed the door a little more, I saw the familiar back of someone that I knew and it was another one of those nights of pain, tears, blood and suffering all over again. 


	9. Of White Lies, Hidden Truths and Broken Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! ^^ Once again, I have never written a chapter this fast ever and it is also one of my longest chapters ever in this story, reaching close to 10,000 words. :') I have read all your comments and tried my best to reply to every single one of you, and I would just like to say that I am so happy to be able to have such avid readers and supporters. :) Thank you for all the kind comments that you guys have given me and no words can describe how grateful I am for all of you. :) 
> 
> I must add that this chapter does take quite a turn but nevertheless, I hope you guys would enjoy it all the same. :) Perhaps I can safely say that this story is indeed coming to an end and it's been quite an emotional ride. :) My holidays are ending so the updates from now onwards would be a little slow, but do continue looking forward to the final instalments of this story! ^^ Thank you! 
> 
> P.S. This chapter does get a little gory at one point. Just a warning for you guys. :')

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

Once again, I woke up with a rude shock, getting up immediately and found myself closing my eyes immediately due to the sunlight that shone in my eyes. Unfortunately, I had taken note of the sharp pain when I tried to open my eyes again, and soon realised that one of them could not be fully opened.

My whole body was aching as I struggled to get up from the floor and I sat there confused for a moment, nearly forgetting what had happened the night before. I scanned my surroundings and realised that I was still in my room, until my gaze landed on something that looked like a broken vase on the floor. Indeed, my mind was still hazy with sleep, and it did not help that I was still technically “blind” in one eye. Nevertheless, I mustered the strength to drag myself closer to the broken vase, eyes widening when I realised what it truly was.

It was not any ordinary vase because it was Jinyoung’s vase that he had given to me. I looked around the area, and realised that all the notes that I had written in there were all strewn on the floor while the vase laid in smithereens. When I had held it for the very first time, it was clearly sturdy and less fragile than all the pottery pieces I had seen my friends make back in high school. Why did it lie like that then?

It was impossible to fix back, and even when Jinyoung had claimed that he did not “spend much time” on it, it was definitely something that he poured thought, emotion and effort into. Now, it was impossible to fix back and all I could do was pick up the pieces one by one, as carefully as I could.

And that was when the memories of last night flooded back, which explained my aching head, body (especially my ankle) and the swollen eye that could barely open.

All I had done last night was to walk into my room, curious as to why anybody would be in it while the rest of the lights were turned off. I was sure that it was a burglar since my father never came home so early, but I did notice that there was no forced entry into the house and nothing else was put out of place. The shabby apartment was still as neat as it could possibly have been, but it was probably possible that I could have forgotten to lock the door as well.

Who knows?

That was until I saw the familiar figure when I picked up the courage to open the door and it was none other than my father. It was clear that he was raging on the inside and seeing red; his shoulders were rising and falling in slow but rhythmic frequencies and his veins were starting to become more prominent at the back of his neck and especially his arms.

I almost ran, to be honest, but when I saw what he had in his hand, it rendered me standing rooted to the ground with shock taking over my entire being. There was Jinyoung’s vase in one hand and slips of paper in the other and knowing him, there was a high chance that one of these things had to go and there was no way it was going to happen. I would not let it.

Suddenly, my father made a sharp turn, snapping his head back and looking at me with a crazed gaze and a twisted smile on his face, before he stomped up to me and grabbed my collar so tight that I ended up choking under his grasp.

“Park Jihoon. I’ve warned you before. Do you think that you can run away so easily? It’s such a pity that your own mother and brother left you behind, probably to die with me and rot in the depths of hell after everything I have done. You have been nothing to me, only sitting around at home and wasting time. Now, what do I know? My son’s gay? Does that explain what this gift is doing here?”

“A-appa please. Don’t destroy it please. You can hit me all you want, but just don’t touch the gift. Please, let it go.” I choked out, taking short and shallow breaths to last a little longer in my father’s hold.

“Let it go? I’ve been too nice to you. All I do is hit you, burn you, cut you and yet, you are still here, despite the fact that I wish you were dead together with that whore and that coward. Perhaps I’ve been too lenient with you and maybe it’s time to crush you internally. I don’t wish to have a disgusting faggot like you living in this house.”

With that, he threw me against the floor like a rag doll, and I landed squarely on my back with a sharp pain running through my entire being. Obviously, I had winced at the pain, but I was picked up again with my father ripping off my eye patch, smirking and hitting me all over again. I fell over, losing all the strength in my legs, and he kicked me in the torso repeatedly without any mercy. At some point, I swore I saw white, but my vision would return back to normal once I got used to it.

There I lay, not having enough strength within me to get up anymore. It hurt to breathe and all I could do was lie facing the wall of my room, trying my best to stabilise my vision. Given his poor and deteriorating health, I could only smile bitterly to myself because it simply meant that it was over. God knows how much time had passed since I had come home, but that did not matter anymore. As long as my father stopped, I knew I would be okay. Sure, it was even more painful than yesterday because I had already been beaten to a pulp last night but he was clearly too tired to continue.

“Stupid boy. You are the most useless human being who was purely a mistake. Even Sungwoon could do better than you and the world would probably be better off without you. You still have the audacity to like boys huh, you disgusting, putrid waste of space? Why did I not kill you the moment you were left behind? HUH?”

And that was when I heard the crack of porcelain thrown against the wall, but I was too tired to move and just remained stationary in my position. It hurt to cry but there I was, feeling the tears and emotions well up inside me and I soon tasted the saltiness of my tears.

I heard the door of my room close with a loud bang, but I still did not move anyway, curling myself tighter into a foetus position instead. Black specks were already appearing in my vision at that point, but I stopped fighting against myself. For once, I let the darkness take over me and I found myself knocked out cold almost immediately.

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

As agreed during our last meeting, Jihoon and I started to meet up more often. It almost became a daily affair that we would meet up at the cafe, seek refuge in the comforts of my home on the soft mattress after some hours of perfecting our artistic skills or just lying on the grass in the middle of the Hangang Park with all sorts of conversations under the sun.

However, I had started to notice that Jihoon seemed to be in a shape worse than before. He had plasters on his face, chin and even his eyebrow, with an eye covered in an eye patch. His limp started to get even more obvious at times, and there were also days when his wrist would be wrapped in a tight bandage. Sometimes, I would ask him what had happened and he would laugh it off, saying that he either fell on the road, was extremely clumsy or ended up spraining his wrist for whatever reason. As the frequency increased in which I saw him in such a state, it began to worry me on the inside. I tried to keep the thoughts away because it was true that I was not something I should be nosy about.

Unfortunately, I started to notice a change in his behaviour eventually. He was more cautious, kept his guard up and also kept a little further of a distance between us. With that, of course, came an increase in the number of bandages and visible plasters which seemed to decorate his face every single day. He was always wearing long sleeves anyway and only he would know what he was truly hiding.

Nevertheless, it was clear that the both of us tried our best to keep our relationship cordial and close. In fact, I was sure he noticed the changes too, even those that he was doing on his accord. I had become a little more suspicious and he always looked as if I would find out something that he does not want me to, and hence, we tried our best to put the thoughts of pain, doubt and negativity behind as we focused on the moment. He was still great company anyway and we were soon back to our normal selves after a while; sharing good food, drinking good coffee and just basking in each other’s presence as a source of comfort and strength.

For the sake of my own health, I had also begun to let Doctor Kang know of my worries and doubts when it came to Jihoon, and all she would do is nod while taking down notes; something that she always does for every single session in order to keep track of my progress. I let her know of the changes in his behaviour and how he seemed to walk around with an invisible wall that he had metaphorically built on his own. When she heard that, it was clear that she was worried for me too; it was written all over her face.

“Have you asked him anything lately or even asked him what happened and how he sustained all those injuries?”

“Y-yes?” I would reply, as if it was more of a question rather than a statement, “But I think he’s lying to me because there is no way he could have simply fallen on the road or pavement that often to sustain such serious injuries.”

“I see,” and that was when she thought for a while, “I understand why you would be worried for him. However, you have to understand that this is his life too, Jinyoung-ah. The both of you are close, yes, but it is clear that there is something he might not want you to find out about him. Unless he tells you, I think it’ll be right for you to stop worrying for now, especially since you have made significant improvements since you first came in.”

I sighed at the response as worries continued to flood my mind, and I paid no attention to the fact that Doctor Kang was still sitting next to me with an arm around my shoulder to give me a gentle, yet assuring, squeeze.

“I know it’s hard, Jinyoung-ah. And I know that it must be confusing for you too, especially when you have known him for so-called ages. In fact, all you do is talk about him.” she chuckled, but regained her composure and continued, “However, just be patient. The truth will reveal itself. Until then, just keep being the great friend that you are. He clearly treasures you so you should do the same, even when there are many unanswered questions. Sometimes, you just need to reach out and just keep him company, like you always do.”

Suddenly, I found myself overwhelmed by sniffles and tears were starting to drip down onto my acid washed jeans, but I was soon met with a tissue dabbing my eyes gently to wipe away the tears.

“I’m sorry for being so emotional… It’s just that… I feel like I’m not helping him enough. He’s done a lot for me personally, but doesn’t he hurt on the inside too?”

Doctor Kang said nothing, only giving me a motherly hug and rubbing small circles into my back as I cried and her coat was probably drenched with my tears now. Hence, she got the nurse to prepare some hot chocolate in an attempt to calm me down. In the meantime, she kept me in her warm embrace, stroking my hair every so often and this was exactly like Minhyun would do.

Indeed, it did take a while for me to regain my composure, but Doctor Kang did not leave my side, only giving me encouraging smiles as she wiped the remaining tears that streamed down my face. The hot chocolate did help me calm my nerves a little, giving me a sense of calm and warmth, easing the tension in my shoulders.

“Take it easy, Jinyoung-ah. Deep breaths. You’ve been getting better and better, so don’t let it go to waste now. I’m proud of you, and I’m sure Minhyun is even more proud. Does he know of your troubles?”

I shook my head and she sighed, explaining that even though she promised to be by my side through this phase of depression, I had to rely on Minhyun too. And besides, family always came first when it came to such intimate and personal problems. The psychologist always knew what was going through people’s minds and understood how the person would feel in various situations, but their methods were the orthodox. Sometimes, there are certain things which are out of their control, and only family members would know, simply because they have known one for a longer time.

“But I’m afraid of how he would react. Minhyun hyung’s someone who cares about others a lot and I’m worried that he’ll intrude Jihoonie hyung’s privacy in the process. And besides, he has plenty of other things to worry about now. It won’t be good for him to have another issue on his plate.”

When Doctor Kang heard that, she was a little surprised but nodded in understanding, until she realised that she was already running late for her medical conference.

“Oh no, I’m late. I’m sorry Jinyoung-sshi, but I really need to rush off now or my superior’s going to serve my head on the silver platter.” She said in alarm, rushing over to her desk to tidy it up and grab whatever she would need.

“It was a great session Jinyounggie and I’m glad that you have opened up to me more. I’ll see you…. perhaps next week instead? Don’t worry, you are getting better and just remember that while I would always be on your side, Minhyunnie will be too. He has been my patient before, and I know what he’s like. Trust him and I promise you that things will get better okay?”

With one final hug, she bolted out the door, running down the corridor with the sound of her clicking heels. I stood there for a moment to take a look at the scenery outside her office and immediately felt like I had a large weight that had been lifted from my shoulders. It had been hard keeping it within myself for so long, especially after seeing how stressed Minhyun was for his upcoming project. When he was not cooking or cleaning, he was in his room for the rest of the time Skyping Yoojung for ideas and working on the project to do his part.

It would be too selfish to tell him at this stage, isn’t it?

I found myself out of the hospital and closed my eyes for a moment as I took in another deep breath of the fresh summer breeze that blew against my face, walking off with a lifted and relieved spirit once again.

********

The days soon turned into weeks, and I realised that Jihoon was only changing for the worse. His eye bags (as seen from his eye that was not covered with the eyepatch) became even more prominent and even his features were even more sunken now with his obvious cheekbones and sharp jawline. His demeanour had gotten slightly better, and it was nearly back to the good old days for a short while. We shared genuine smiles, laughter and the casual arms around each other, or even going so far as to share a tight and warm embrace.

His art had gotten significantly better too as I looked through his diary, and even had to search up more stuff from my textbooks and notes for him to attempt. In fact, according to Minhyun, if he were to simply hone his skills and learn a little more, he could well be accepted into Yonsei’s Art Programme even without sitting for his CSATs.

People thought that I would get jealous because of that, but I was far from it. Instead, once again, I was proud of the fact that I had actually gotten someone interested in the Arts, especially in this modern day and pragmatic context. Based on my observations alone, it was clear that Jihoon loved it because he was still a relatively quiet boy who did not really share his emotions and feelings through words very often. Hence, he saw art as a way to articulate his thoughts and even a possible escape from reality.

There were times when I had looked through certain pages of his diary and he would take it back from me pretty forcefully, before skipping a few pages and handing it to me again with a sheepish smile. Yet, I could still sense the fact that he was hiding something from me. Furthermore, there were also times when he would end up falling asleep while doing his work, and I motioned for him to sleep on the bed instead, tucking him in to keep him warm and making sure that he would be comfortable.

However, it was also noteworthy to mention that Jihoon had terrible and pretty wild sleeping habits which rendered him kicking off the blankets, ending up with pillows surrounding him (with some on the floor anyway) and sprawled across my queen sized bed. It was adorable, especially when he had his mouth wide open as he let out little snores, but there were also times when I had to blink; making sure that I was not seeing things or imagining too negatively.

Jihoon had always made it a point to tuck in his shirt, but there were days when his shirt would gradually slip out of his pants and reveal the lower half of his torso. And that was when I had noticed things that I did not expect.

There was a long scar across his stomach, below his bellybutton, and multiple disgustingly yellow and purple bruises all over. There were days when I would also study his face  (not too obvious of course) to see if there was anything strange and true enough, those same bruises appeared at the side of his head and it was clearly too huge to cover with an eye patch alone. This probably explained why there were days when he would switch sides with me when it came to working on the same work bench, so that his eye patch was away from me; out of sight and hence, out of mind.

I started to notice that he would wake up sweating with deep and heavy breaths, as if he had a nightmare in the middle of his nap. Only the Almighty knows what was going through his head, or even his daily life, but I would always make it a point to fetch him a warm cup of instant Earl Grey tea to ease his nerves. The tension was high on his shoulders, and sometimes, it looked as if he had woken up from death (which scared me a little, if I were to be completely honest). As the warmth spread throughout his body as he touched the warm cup that I presented him, it was clear that he found an instant remedy to calm himself down from whatever he had imagined.

Trust me, as a friend, I tried to ask him what was bothering him, or at least get him to describe the dream for me. Unfortunately, I was always met with an unwilling response as he usually played it off with the fact that for him, nightmares were completely normal if he did not get enough sleep the previous night. Also, it was clear from his body language too that he wanted me to stop asking him so many questions, assuring me to his very best that he was okay and well.

Hence, I had to take it as that. Perhaps time would tell but for now, just like Doctor Kang had advised, all I had to do now was to be by his side, even when there was nothing I could do.

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

As time went by, my nightmares became more and more frequent. In retrospect, even when I was simply daydreaming, horrifying images would cross my mind, and even that got me to jump out of my skin a little.

It was true that I was highly susceptible to nightmares when I had lost precious sleep and that had been happening ever since I was a child. Now, there was just too much pain to be able to sleep comfortably, because every inch of my body ached with my father’s beatings. Only God would know why he had become so much more violent, even hitting me without saying a word at all.

It was as if I became a punching bag; an object for his relief, and it seemed to have been forgotten that I was only human. There was only so much pain that I could take before my body was ready to give way. And besides, I only had 206 bones in my body and surprisingly, none of them had actually given way yet. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, since I clearly did not have enough to seek proper medical treatment. Sadly, it was also a curse, since it gave my father an even bigger reason to continue with his violent tactics.

That was not the end ever since that fateful night. He had found all the money and the little savings that I had kept in my room safely in my lower drawers underneath a stash of random bits and bops. It was probably the least suspecting place, but he found it anyway, and left me with nothing. Apart from the meals that Minhyun had prepared (when I did go over to the house), there was nothing else left to eat and all I could do was to satisfy my hunger (or even thirst) with large amounts of water.

Sometimes, I would be lucky enough to have Minhyun prepare some leftovers or the nice street stall lady who did not mind providing some free meals when I helped her to mend her stall. Then again, I was a growing boy and at the stage of puberty, hunger was always at its peak, but I had no choice because it would be another week left for Sungwoon’s new allowance to come in.

As time went by, even I had started to notice the change in my own being. My clothes got looser and certain features of mine became even more prominent such as my jawline, cheekbones and my pelvic bone. Sure, it sounded like a dream for most, but it was a nightmare for me because I was no longer happy with the image that I had. My eye bags were even darker and it could possibly be explained with the frequent nightmares and overwhelming aches.

Afraid of what Jinyoung might think, I found myself becoming more cautious, quiet and even felt like I was building a wall between myself and him. He was bound to find out sooner or later, but like I had mentioned before, it was the last thing on my mind to divert the stress of my situation to him. Who would be so cruel to actually open up to another who has already gone through enough in his life? I was sure he had already suspected something by this point, but I wanted to keep it that way.

_If he knew nothing, it would be okay._

Hence, I gave it my all to revert back to the old, bright me to throw off the suspicion, and it was tiring, to say the least. I also dozed off more often at Jinyoung’s house and soon found myself tucked into his soft, comfortable bed. To me, it was almost like a safe haven for me to take refuge in. Furthermore, with the trusting nature in the house, it felt as if I was well protected and safe, away from the harsh reality that I faced every single day.

That did not mean that my nightmares did not come. It still did; with vivid images and horrific scenarios that one could never (and would not want to) imagine. Most times, I would wake up with a start, taking in deep breaths and telling myself that it was not real. It will never happen, I said. Not here and not now.

When Jinyoung saw that, he would immediately ask if I was alright, wiping the sweat off my forehead with a clean white towel and giving my hand an encouraging squeeze. He was quiet, and only went down to make me some tea, before coming back with a tray containing 2 white and minimalistic cups and a teapot.

Indeed, I was definitely thankful for his presence and his ability to give one comfort, but this was until he got curious, asking me what had happened and believed that if I told him what my dream was about, it could make me feel better. Then again, that was not something I wished to do, and hence brushed it off with a different subject of conversation while hoping that he would not revert back to it. He got the message and never went back, but it was written all over his face; doubt, confusion and knowing that I was probably hiding something from him.

There were days when the both of us would lay in bed together, with his arms wrapped around my torso as I cried myself to sleep or if I had woken up from another of those nightmares again. I could not help it because guilt just took over my mind as I found myself gradually sinking deeper and deeper into my thoughts. He would stroke my hair as I sniffled or hold me together physically as a form of assurance that I would be okay.

“Hyung… I don’t know whether it would apply here but according to my mother, she always said that a hug makes a person all better, because it is the only gesture of love in which words are not needed. I don’t know what hardships you go through now, but with this, I hope it will make you feel better. You are safe here in my arms and nothing will get to you now.”

No matter how many times he said it, it sure did get me every time with tears threatening to spill out any moment. It had been weeks since his handmade vase had broken because of me, and I did not tell him, choosing to carry the thought in my mind and in my heart instead. He was a nice boy, I know, but with the amount of effort that he had truly put in, it was impossible to predict how he would react to the news. Shock? Horror? Laughter? Anger? Trust me, I did not want to assume at this point. I lost sleep over it as I stared at the fragments of it every single night, wondering how and why I could not even protect such a simple and thoughtful gift.

I could not lose this friendship, no matter how much it hurt on the inside. It was too hard to let go of, because I knew that Jinyoung was going to be the reason why it was already so much better than it was before.

He was my remedy. Whenever I saw him (and Minhyun), it was as if the clouds had opened up to reveal a rainbow. And like they always say, “No cloud is so dark that light cannot get through”. That was Minhyun and Jinyoung. They took away the pain and suffering for a moment, both inside and out, hence, I was not willing to risk it.

Truthfully, at this point, there is no way I could stop Jinyoung’s curious mind from wandering but there was only one thing I wished for.

If he has to find out, may it be at a time when it is not too soon. Please, whoever is listening, hear my prayer. I cannot lose him too.

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

The days had passed relatively quickly, and it was still the same old routine. There were days when Jihoon would show up clean, healed of his previous injuries that he tried so hard to hide, only to be littered with even more injuries the next day.

Sometimes, when I could not handle it anymore, I would stop him from his attempt at digital art to sit him down on my bed and fetch the first aid box and an ice pack from the freezer to numb the pain. He tried to hide it first, putting up a fight with me as he tried to pull down the hem of his pants, but I fought back and it only revealed angry red and swollen skin with some of it peeling off gradually. In a nutshell, it was pretty gross to see how badly his feet had been hurt and this probably explained why he was limping so much without letting the wounds breathe.

I was no expert, but I knew enough from the experiences in the kitchen, all thanks to Minhyun. I, personally, was a complete klutz myself and never failed to burn or spill something in the kitchen. If I were to be completely honest and objective, I was surprised that I had not stabbed myself with a knife or scissors by accident yet. However, due to the many times when Minhyun had to tend to my wounds, I could remember every single step clearly and this was now the time to put it into practice.

Jihoon winced a little as I did the first step, which was to apply a cloth soaked in cold water on his feet and hence I did it slowly, stopping every now and then for him to give the cue to continue. There was no way I could hold his hand, and so I passed him a pillow for him to relieve the pain. I began to rub it gently with a smoother cloth, getting rid of all the excess skin that dangled everywhere so that it would not interfere with the healing process. For his skin to be that red of a colour, it was clear that it must have been something with an extremely high temperature, compared with days of hiding and masking the pain.

Lastly, I applied the ointment for burns and massaged Jihoon’s feet (with sanitised hands) and by this point, he had already fallen asleep once again. It was hard to tell whether it was because he was in way too much pain or he was just way too comfortable on the bed, but it was a huge relief to me because it meant that there was way less resistance as to tending his wounds and injuries. I left it at that, letting the skin to breathe while tucking him into bed again by covering his body with the comforter but exposed his feet.

I returned to my artwork for a while, but I could not help but fulfill my curiosity this time around. Jihoon was an extremely heavy sleeper, but I approached him stealthily anyway and lifted the hem of his shirt, letting out a quiet gasp at my findings. His body was littered with cuts and bruises of various shapes and sizes and the same went for his back. In fact, it was probably even worse with lines covered in scabs, and I deduced that it was probably from the traditional canes, which my biological parents used to discipline me with.

I was shocked (which was probably an understatement) and angry at the same time, but I could not help the fact that all the emotions of hurt and sadness soon came to take over my entire being. What was he hiding? How long has he been suffering? Why didn’t he tell me anything? Aren’t we supposed to be best friends?? What are we really? How long was he going to keep up with this act? Is he going to tell me eventually?

And that was when he shifted in his sleep, grabbing the pillow blindly and thank the heavens for my fast reflexes, because I was soon found back to my desk, as if I had not been exploring before and finding out these ugly truths on my own. He did not wake up though, and I heaved a sigh of relief, but that sight was clearly something that I would never forget. It was too horrifying and traumatic to see, what more about the fact that Jihoon, the sunshine of a boy who saved my life, is going through it in reality? He did not deserve this and in fact, no one should.

Once again, I spoke with Doctor Kang about the matter and she nodded her head in acknowledgement, but her expression was one filled with worry. Based on the cases that she has worked with in the past, it could be a case of either bullying or domestic abuse. There was no other way around it, and knowing him, it was possible to eliminate bullying because he did not go to school anymore. Unfortunately, wasn’t domestic violence… an extremely serious issue then? Why does he choose to suffer in silence then?

_There are many reasons, Jinyounggie, why people choose to suffer in silence. Most of them believe it’s because their abusers are family members, hence reporting them to the law is a scary and courageous move. Sadly, some would not be able to overcome the guilt after that, and it would consume them slowly later on. Therefore, they would soon start to believe that by keeping quiet, it will benefit everyone around them, even if it hurts them physically and psychologically. It’s almost like the story of Omelas; if society wants to be happy, one would have to take all the pain for the betterment of the society._

Those were the words of Doctor Kang, and I believed her, simply because she was an experienced psychologist who had devoted her life to study PTSD and Depression especially. There was no way she could be wrong and knowing Jihoon, he was one who hated being surrounded by negativity, preferring to avoid it whenever he could. It was clear how he approached the certain sensitive topics that we talked about, because his life was full of that. Who knew how his abuser treated him? In what other ways possible? The physical was a given, but what about mentally? Emotionally?

At this point, I could only wish for Jihoon to open up to me sooner. Truthfully this time.

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

As the nightmares got even more vivid and frequent, I started thinking that it must be telling me something. It brought me back to the time when I had woke up one fateful morning, only to find out for myself that Sungwoon was taking all the beatings from my father, who turned violent ever since our mother disappeared “in search for a better life”.

I was right that morning when I questioned why I could not sleep and there were only so many reasons; one of them being the fact that something bad was going to happen. Unfortunately, it did come true and there was no way I wanted a repeat of that.

_No fucking way._

My father became increasingly violent as the days went by, and there were many days when I had narrowly escaped death. For example, instead of earning myself multiple stab wounds, I earned multiple slashes (but shallow) instead, barely grazing with the knife that my father wielded. Sometimes, I ended up out of the house and running to the safe haven that Sungwoon and I shared, praying to all the Gods that my crazed father would not follow me here.

I would stay there for a few hours, sometimes until the sun rose, before going back home to tend to my wounds on my own and catching some form of sleep before I met up with Jinyoung at his favourite cafe in Sinchon-dong. Perhaps this was the reason why my dark eye circles were getting worse and worse and why I fell asleep at Jinyoung’s house more often.

Nevertheless, I could never get my father’s words out of my head.

_Park Jihoon, I know more about you than you can ever imagine so don’t you fucking dare think you can play this game with me any longer. If I find that boy, I will kill him before you can even think of running away with him. If he’s going to be the reason why you run away from me eventually, I shall be the one to end it then and there. You don’t deserve it, you pathetic and useless son of a bitch. In fact, I wish you had never been born. Keep your father’s hands clean, will you?_

Only the Almighty would know whether that was more than a threat or not and truth be told, I knew my father was a stubborn and opinionated man, thinking that whatever he did was correct and there was no other way around it. That, combined with the fact that he had access to illegal substances and crates of alcohol, it was highly likely that he was probably involved in some shady business with the resident mafia. They were the only ones I knew who would be able to have access to all these goods and if my father had access to them too, it meant that he was associated with them somehow.

I could have stopped him if I wanted to, but that would only be if I was a clueless child with no knowledge of the harsh realities of life. My father was too deep into it and there was no stopping him now, unless I had a death wish. And that also meant that he was bound to find Jinyoung anyway. Who knows? This mafia might be small here, but who knows how many people they have planted around the country? Yes, it did sound far-fetched but there was no denying it that it was a possibility.

If they found Jinyoung, he would be dead immediately, without a doubt, and I could not let that happen. Is this how I repay someone who has been so nice to me over the past couple of months? Definitely not.

He was back in school now, but still made it a point to meet me after his classes, or even in the art studio of his school. Luckily, he was always there to accompany me anyway, and that meant that there was less commotion as to who I really was. I did get a couple of strange stares of curiosity and confusion, but I was soon associated with the identity of “Jinyoung’s buddy”. Sometimes, the girls would squeal and Jinyoung would only give a sheepish smile, before putting a protective arm around my waist to prevent me from getting mobbed by the bunch of fangirls.

He became busier with his hectic schedules, and that meant that I had sunk deeper and deeper into my thoughts in my times of solitude, listening to my inner voices more as they told me what to do. I treasured the friendship, I really did, but there was something within me that did not sit too well. The closer I was to him, the higher the level of danger. My father was adamant to find him (he had mentioned it too many times) and by now, I knew that he was not joking around this time. And besides, he will do anything to see me crumble anyway, leaving with a wicked and twisted smirk on his face.

Hence, I did not really have a choice this time. I needed to let go of the friendship, break apart from it if I could. I had to run away. If Jinyoung were to remain safe, I needed to disappear from his sight. It was going to hurt the both of us, but when I saw it in the perspective of seeing the bigger picture of things, it was for the best.

The day finally came when I had another series of nightmares. It was an image of Minhyun caught in my father’s hold, together with the rest of 5 other strange men pinning him against the wall as they continued to hit him and kick him in the torso. They strangled him at one point and continued to beat the crap out of him, leaving him with bruises, blood trickling down his temple, chapped lips and possible broken bones with the sound of fractured bones.

Next, I found him thrown to the ground, unable to get up and I tried to scream for him to get up and run, but I was unable to hear myself either. Panic rose within me eventually and I tried my best to get to him before my father and his lackeys could, but that was when I discovered that I was being bound to an old rickety chair with thick, brown ropes.

_Get up Jinyoung. You need to get up. Run, escape and don’t look back._

But it was too late.

My father had him in his hold again, holding his chin up to face him, while his lackeys held onto Jinyoung’s limbs so that he could not run away. The former took out something from his pocket and it seemed to glisten in the moonlight as he waved it around, contemplating his next move. Jinyoung was too weak to fight back now, as I could tell from his hanging head and heavy breaths. There was no way he could escape. I tried to get out of the rope’s grasp, but they did not budge and I soon realised that the more I fought, the tighter they became.

It was hard to breathe now but I did not stop trying to push Jinyoung with my words; give him some sort of adrenaline to fight back but he clearly did not hear me. Tears were threatening to spill out at this point and I could swear that my throat was getting hoarse from all the shouting and screaming.

I saw my father turn Jinyoung’s head from side to side roughly, as if Jinyoung was a ragged doll and he soon placed the blade at Jinyoung’s throat. Flashing me a smirk, he traced Jinyoung’s throat slowly at first, pushing in the blade deeper towards the end, and swept the blade across the latter’s neck. I was silent now, too shocked to process what had just happened, and Jinyoung was just convulsing with crimson red blood spilling everywhere from his wound. He tried to hold onto it, but all I could hear was of him choking on his own blood, dying shortly after.

My father walked towards me menacingly now with the bloody blade, which still had Jinyoung’s blood dripping from it, before saying, “You are next.”

And with that, I woke up with a start, soon realising that the sheets and pillow were damp with my sweat. My entire body was sticky and despite the air-conditioning in Jinyoung’s room, it still felt incredibly warm. Jinyoung was nowhere to be found but the door was ajar, and I could hear sounds of cups clinking together and the “ding” of an electric kettle, signifying that the boiling had been done.

_It’s not real. It’s not real. Jihoon, it’s not real._

I buried my head in my hands and ruffled my hair with them roughly, trying my best to keep the image out of my head. My hands were clammy and I had clearly broken out into cold sweat, followed by a shiver down my spine. It was either from the cold or the anxiety that still stayed within me but then again, I could not even differentiate my feelings anymore. Sometimes, I thought I was happy, but it turns out that I was just concealing it because I thought that things could not get any worse. Hence, that just meant anxiety. What now?

“Hey…” Jinyoung said, with a tray in his hand filled with cookies and drinks, “You were really out of it this time around hyung. You kept mumbling in your sleep, and your voice did get louder at one point. Tears started flowing down your cheek and I tried to wake you up, but you shook me off and honestly, that did scare me a little.”

_Oh shit, he noticed._

He then proceeded to sit by my bedside, not before fetching me another of those soft and rose scented towels, and poured me a cup of tea. This time, instead of a brown liquid that I was familiar with, it was a pale yellow coloured liquid.

“This is chrysanthemum tea, hyung,” Jinyoung explained, “Yoojung noona gave it to Minhyun hyung the other day when she came back from China. She said that it was a calming tea since it was noncaffeinated, and it could make one feel better in an instant.”

I put the cup to my lips with quivering hands, taking in the warm liquid, and indeed, Yoojung was right. I felt the tension in my neck and shoulders loosen and a state of calm washed over me again. I wanted to flash an assuring smile at Jinyoung, but I was only met with an aura of seriousness and tension coming from him. “Confused” was an understatement but the tension grew thicker as I continued to drink; so thick that one could possibly slice it with a knife.

“Hyung, what’s been bothering you lately? You’ve been going from bad to worse and… I w-worry for you hyung. You can trust me.”

I flashed a grimace and replied, “It’s n-nothing. Don’t worry about it---”

“It’s always the same excuse, hyung!” He said, standing up as his speaking volume started to rise, “Are you lying to me now? I’ve seen everything and I’ve connected the dots. You are not clumsy, I’ve seen how the way you walk and you don’t fall very often. And besides, who the hell gets scars on the back of his leg for falling on the sidewalk?”

He was exasperated now, and it was clear that he was trying his best to keep his level-headedness. He took in deep, slow breaths but stared at me with a disappointed, yet sad, gaze.

“What else do you know?” I asked, noticing the fact that I was about to get defensive any moment now.

“I-I saw your bruises, your scars, the cuts that mar your body. I also noticed the burnt marks, the one that I helped you to treat, and all the scars that line your body too. What are you hiding hyung?”

“I’m not hiding anything---”

“YES YOU ARE. YOU ARE. GOD KNOWS WHY YOU HIDE THEM FOR,” He screamed, but paused, before continuing, “You are such a great person hyung, who would dare to do this to you? It’s clear you’ve been through a lot of this but aren’t you going to seek help?”

He was crying now and said in choked up sobs, “Hyung, you’ve changed so much and do I dare say now that you are the one who saved my life? You went from an 18-year-old boy who could fend for himself well and possibly defend himself from the harshness of the world. You were strong and independent; someone whom I felt I could depend on back then. Now? You’ve lost so much weight, your body’s beaten to a pulp and your nightmares get more and more frequent. How much more are you going to take?”

“So what do you care? Even if I’m hiding something, what can you do about it?” I replied, not meeting his gaze anymore, but I did find myself clenching my fists with my fingernails digging into my skin.

“Hyung, I can’t help if you if you don’t tell me anything. Why can’t you just tell me? You’ve saved me once, let me save you now---”

“No,” I said, sounding sterner than before, “You don’t fucking understand. If you want to save me, the most you can do is shut the fuck up right now and pretend that there’s nothing wrong with me. This problem of mine is more complex than you think. All I did was to distract you off the rooftop, this isn’t like that. Nothing you say or do would get me out of this goddamn nightmare. I didn’t ask for your help in the first place, so stop putting your finger into other people’s pie.”

“HYUNG,” Jinyoung screamed back, “I didn’t ask for your goddamn help either and yet, you still helped me get out of that precarious position. YOU are the one who doesn’t understand. This is hard, but aren’t we friends? Or are we more than that? Whatever the case, isn’t this what friends should be doing? Why can’t you just let me help you? I know it’s hard, but why do you have to go through it all on your own?”

At that point, I could not handle it any longer.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP JINYOUNG.”

When he heard that, he was stunned beyond words and silence took over the once loud and serious environment. It was an air of solemnity now and eerie silence. In fact, it was so quiet that all you could hear were the breaths that the both of us were taking and the whirring of the aircon in the room.

“You have no fucking idea what it’s like,” I continued, “You have lived such a perfect life so what the fuck would you know? I didn’t ask for anything like that, and unless you want to die, this is a problem that I have to overcome on my own. It’s my own problems, MY OWN, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

With that, I took my things, throwing them into my haversack and was ready to walk out the door, until I felt a hand grab onto my wrist. Also, I heard the sniffles coming from Jinyoung behind me and he muttered out a few words that I could barely make out through his sobs.

“Hyung… Please, make me understand then.”

_Jihoon, don’t do it._

“Really? Are you crying now? Is that all you can do now? Behave like you actually care when all you think about is how much you pity me?”

“N-no… Hyung please, I never meant it that way---”

 _Fuck._ _Jihoon, stop hurting the poor boy._

“I’ve had enough of your bullshit. I’m leaving. Open the gate for me and don’t you fucking dare come after me. Trust me when I say that this is for your own good. Let go of me because now, I’m going to let you go. Be free, forget me and… just forget whatever we had.”

“Hyung… That’s not….”

“Let me go,” I warned, and slowly but surely, Jinyoung did actually let go of his firm hold. He pressed a button from his room, and I could hear the sound of the metal gate being unlocked.

“Fine. Goodbye then.”

And those were his last words, before he slammed the door in my face. When I saw that, I wanted to scream and knock on the door again, telling him that I was sorry and I never meant any of those words I said.

But it was too late now. The doorknob clicked, showing that it had been locked and I knew that I had hurt him way too much to take back all the words that I had screamed out without any thought and care for Jinyoung’s feelings. Therefore, I had no choice but to take a long walk down the staircase, shoving my feet into my shoes and whispering an “I’m sorry” before closing the main door behind me.

I tried my best to blink back the tears as I walked down more steps before I reached the gate, and nearly wanted to crumple on my knees then and there. I trudged on, telling myself that if I wanted to keep Jinyoung safe, I needed to do this… for his own safety and Minhyun’s as well.

Soon, I was already out of the neighbourhood, walking in a dazed state with unfocused eyes. In fact, I felt like a zombie now, simply letting my body take over my movements and bumping into a few people along the way. They let out a long string of curses, telling me to watch where I was going, but I did not respond, until I bumped into a strong and burly teenager.

I tried to walk away from him but he grabbed my collar and shoved me against the cold metal gate of a random store that was closed for the day, knocking the wind out of me.

I thought I was going to be beaten now and was completely ready for it, until another boy from the group placed a hand on the attacker’s shoulder. He gave it a squeeze and it was probably a cue for him that the attacker should not do anything at this point, given the fact that he did shove me to the ground.

“Next time, you won’t be so lucky, pretty boy.” He said in a fierce and intimidating manner, spitting on me after that and the group was soon well on their way to wherever they needed to go.

I wanted to get up, but my legs felt like lead and it was as if my limbs had grown roots to the ground. I had no strength to stand up anymore. Sure, there were judgmental gazes from the public and the occasional whispers but I paid no attention to them.

Regretful and angry tears flowed out now and I tried to wipe them away with my sleeve, but to no avail. The tears just kept flowing and soon, I was able to taste the saltiness and the bitterness of them. Later, my ears were soon drowned out by someone’s loud wailing and it made all the other sounds around me disappear. Traffic soon became silent and whispers turned into sounds of nothingness. Their lips were moving though; there was just no sound being uttered out.

Little did I know that the one wailing his lungs out until his throat started to hurt was me sitting there pathetically on the sidewalk outside a closed convenience store; tired and alone. 


	10. Without You By My Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! ^^ It's been a week since I last updated this story and school has been tough getting used to all over again, especially with the academic rigour that comes along with it. TT.TT From this point in the story onwards, I might be taking things a little slower than usual? It's just a thought though, but then again, it all depends on the number of "writer's blocks" I get because I did get quite a bit when I wrote this. :( Hence, I would like to apologise for the chapter, especially if it did not live up to its expectations this time around. :( Nevertheless, I wish all of you a happy reading experience and keep looking forward to the rest of the chapters coming your way very soon!

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

Indeed, that was probably one of the most traumatic experiences that I had to go through in my entire life. The first was when I had been kicked out of my own home; the second was when Mrs Hwang passed away; and finally, letting go of my best friend that I had so carelessly lost in a snap. 

If only I did not let my emotions get the better of me. 

If only I did not shout at him the moment I found out that he was using the same excuses and lies to cover himself up. 

If only I had been more understanding and less curious to the fact that he did not want to share his story. 

If only… I just did not do what I did. 

When he told me to let him go, God knows why I did it. I was surprised I gave up the fight of getting Jihoon to open up to me, only releasing his arm after trying to tell myself that I had done what I was supposed to do and finally, letting him go with a curt goodbye. My eyes were still filled with tears, but I put up an iron front, slamming the door in his face; so hard that the “bang” echoed throughout the house. 

_ Thank god Minhyun’s not home.  _

I proceeded to lock it by clicking on the doorknob and he probably expected me to return to my artwork with a straight face, as if our very first major argument had not taken place at all. In fact, the expectation was highly likely to be that I would treat it as if it was a normal day. All we had was a little argument and dispute over our different opinions. You know, nothing too much in general. Perhaps it was the stress of school, or maybe we just needed a break from each other given our currently conflicting schedules. 

No, those were not it. They were simply not it. If I were to say all of the above was true, it would have been the biggest lie that I had ever committed in the past 17 years. 

I could still see Jihoon’s shadow from the gap below the door and it was clear that he was still out there, but I did not budge. I was not going to open it and apologise, because I knew deep inside that if I was going to keep silent, he would probably continue to hurt even more on the inside; something which I did not want. Sometimes, all people needed was a gentle reminder (not in this case, unfortunately) that there was someone out there willing to care for them. And that it was perfectly okay for them to fully trust and fall back on the person when they are truly in need. 

This, however, was obviously not the case.

I stood there frozen for a few moments, hand on the doorknob, hesitating whether I should really open the door for him or not. All I probably needed now was to give Jihoon a simple apology for raising my voice and especially for jumping to conclusions, which might not be true. Maybe I was overreacting, or just being way too overprotective for our own sakes. Nevertheless, it still nagged me that my hunch was correct, because there was no other way around the issue that Jihoon was probably facing. 

I had seen enough to know that whatever he had been trying to tell me with regards to the reasoning behind all his nightmares, bruises and injuries, they were all lies; ways to cover up the true story. Indeed, he probably thought that I would just brush it off, and I tried my very best to for his own sake. Unfortunately, I could not deny that it did sit at the back of my mind constantly, which then explained why I talked to Doctor Kang about the matter. I could not talk to Minhyun, afraid he would overreact and it was obvious that I could not speak to Jihoon, so she was the only person left to get rid of my worries for a while. 

At that point, my hand was still on the doorknob, wondering whether I should open the door or not and just envelop Jihoon in an embrace, telling him that I was sorry, but the shadow shifted and it was clear that he had walked off, down the stairs and finally, out of the house. 

And that was truly when I felt as if the world had come crashing down on me. I had lost all the strength in my legs, leaning against the door, only to find myself on the floor shortly after with my knees to my chin. The tears began to cascade down my cheek almost immediately and I buried my face in my hands, sobbing softly as I thought back to what had just happened. 

It was too late now. Jihoon was gone. And knowing him, it was highly unlikely that he would come back. I had crossed the line, I knew that I did, and yet, I still did it anyway. 

_ How stupid can you get, Bae Jinyoung? You know that this boy had so much more to tell. You knew he was in pain, somehow, and yet, you still hurt him. You tried to save him, you really did, but look what you have done.  _

When Minhyun came home, he came back with a smiling face and I greeted him with the best smile that I could plaster on my face. Once again, he got an A on the latest project, and the same went for Yoojung. He was so excited to tell me about the project, apologising at the same time that he had no time to tell me. As I continued to listen to his account, I started to phase out of the conversation and soon noticed that I was no longer listening to him anymore. I was just staring into thin air, nodding like a robot. 

“Jinyoung…? Jinyounggie? You alright?” 

I snapped out of my reverie at that, but the dam of emotions broke once again, and I remembered crying in Minhyun’s arms. He was clearly surprised, but wrapped his arms around me firmly and held me tight. He did not ask why I was so emotional all of a sudden (or at least not yet) and just stroked my hair while the tears of mine soaked his shirt in a matter of minutes.

We stayed like that for a while and I was soon left with nothing but just quick and shallow breaths, still grabbing onto Minhyun’s shirt tightly. He still held onto me anyway, never letting go a single bit, and tried his best to keep me calm. 

“It’s okay, Jinyoung. Everything’s okay. I’m here now. Breathe, collect yourself and I’ll prepare you some tea okay--”

“H-hyung… Don’t go, p-please??”

“I’m not going anywhere, Baejin,” He said, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze, “I’m just going to make you some Earl Grey and heat up a chocolate chip cookie for you. I’ll still be here and if you want, you can sit in the kitchen if you are still in doubt.” 

And so I did, deciding to sit on the bar stools in the kitchen island for once. Nobody knows why he had them when we hardly had guests around, but it just happened to make the kitchen space warmer and friendlier to be in. There I was, watching Minhyun preparing two cups of Earl Grey in the old fashioned way with a strainer and the tea leaves, before placing them in a glass teapot that had been a token of appreciation from a glass art festival 2 years ago. 

Then, he proceeded to place a tea candle in the support and placed the teapot on top, ensuring that the tea would always be kept warm. He took out a cookie from the fridge and placed it in the toaster for a minute, before taking it out and laying it gently on a saucer plate. Still, it was funny how Minhyun had an eye for culinary arts, but was too scared to actually do something with the talent. He preferred to keep it close to home and besides, he already had the visual art talent to fall back on.

“Here you go,” he said in a gentle and fatherly tone, taking the teapot off the support just so that he could pour the tea into 2 matching glass cups. 

“Now… Would you tell me what happened? It’s been awhile since… you got such a breakdown.” 

“I-I did something stupid hyung. I did not mean to, I swear, but… I let him go and he slipped through my fingers just like that.” 

“Who are you talking about? And besides, I’m pretty sure what you are about to tell me isn’t the fact that you killed someone.” He replied with a raised eyebrow and a genuine look of concern. 

I chuckled at that and shook my head, but my emotions were getting the best of me again, “No h-hyung. I did not kill anyone and besides, why would I?” 

“So what happened? I’m here to help you.” He said this with a smile and I knew that I could trust him. And besides, Minhyun was one trustworthy man and kept all secrets to himself. 

“I… I fought with J-Jihoon today… I didn’t mean to. I shouted at him for lying to me and for hiding things when we have already been friends for so long. He tried to defend himself, and I knew he was hurting, but my emotions took over me and soon, I said so many things that I regretted. Now… I can’t take them back anymore…” 

I looked up to see Minhyun’s reaction and it was clear that he was surprised by the sudden turn of events between Jihoon and I. To him, it was clear that he did not expect things to turn out this way. We were close and clearly loved each other’s company, why would we suddenly get to this point of arguing then? If I were Minhyun, even I would not be able to wrap my head around the matter, simply because there was no way it could have happened. 

“I saw bruises, hyung, and he had a long white scar across his stomach. His feet were angry red, burnt from god-knows-what was poured onto his feet. There were new cuts, scabs and scars all over his limbs.” 

He nodded and sipped his tea at the same time, and now, it was my turn to be surprised. Usually, he would be “overreacting”, asking why I did not call the police then or what was my next plan. This time, he was calm and composed, asking me to continue the story with his hand gestures. 

“You were busy hyung, so there was no way that I could talk to you about this matter. I’m sorry in advance, but I did speak to Doctor Kang. She mentioned that it might have been a case of either bullying or domestic violence, based on her past experiences with PTSD patients. I ruled out bullying, because there was no way, and only ended up with the hypothesis of domestic abuse…” 

“I see…” He said, sipping even more tea in the process, but I could tell from his knitted brows and the concentrated gaze that he was thinking how to respond. Truth be told, he was far from walking on eggshells with regards to my emotions. I was tired from crying now, and I was way too emotionally exhausted to show any form of breakdown at the moment. 

“How long has this been going on?” 

“I don’t know really… Perhaps 2-3 months? I did not find him suspicious in any way, but only got to know of it recently when he started losing weight and getting obviously terrifying nightmares when he took the occasional nap here.” 

“So… Was it true then, whatever you had hypothesised?” 

“I’m… not sure, hyung. He left before I could even say anything more, or even bother to make up with him after slamming the door in his face after his equally hurtful words. I wanted to apologise… but it was way too late to do so.” 

With that, Minhyun held me in another warm and comforting embrace again, rubbing small circles into my back before he said, “You did the right thing Jinyounggie. No, I am not angry with Jihoon and neither am I mad at you for doing such a reckless thing. Unfortunately, some just need to be brutally told that they do have something that they would need to admit, sooner or later.” 

“How is that the right thing, hyung? I hurt him.” 

“Sometimes, we cannot control whatever we say or do, simply because we are blinded by our own emotions. It’s really not your fault, Jinyounggie, and I’m sure you can see why too. And besides, when it comes to the things you love, sometimes, you’ve got to let them go. If they come back to you, it is meant to be. If they don’t, they never were.” 

********

Days had passed since I had last seen Jihoon, and it was normal for me not to keep in touch with him then, considering that Jihoon himself did not have a phone. Unfortunately, it felt strangely lonely, as if he had taken a piece of me with him. The atmosphere in my room felt colder, lonelier and stranger, as if someone was supposed to be there with me but isn’t.

Combined with the stress of the school’s hectic schedules, which could last from 8am-11pm at times, it came with the fact that I barely ate and barely slept. Thankfully, I had Minhyun watching over me this time around and even if it did take some extra effort on his part, he was always willing to bring the food up to me and ask that I eat for my own sake. He too emphasised that rest was extremely important, as one could not afford to be sleeping in class during such a crucial period when final exams were coming in a span of 5-6 weeks time. I would agree with him, but there were times when the thoughts got to me again; all I did was stare at the ceiling as the sun came up or cry myself to sleep and waking up with swollen eyes. 

When I could actually make it, I dropped by the cafe that Jihoon and I met up in every week and waited until 4pm and beyond. Of course, I was not going to waste my time there and I did bring my notes and materials to study while I waited, but I could not help but stare at the window occasionally to see if Jihoon would somehow pop by as usual. He could be a little late at times, but it was clear that he was not going to show up. I tried it again the following day, and the next, to the barista’s surprise, especially since I did not tend to stay there for long. They still say hello with their usual smiles and waves, but I was sure they were all wondering what had happened to my usual company. 

There were times when I would probably mistake someone for Jihoon because of the colourful fashion and his adorable height, but it clearly was not him. I had crossed the line too much and it was probably a given that we needed a break from each other after all our suppressed emotions that we tried so hard to hide, only to realise that it exploded at the wrong timing.

Sadly, there was nothing I could do to turn back time and take those words and emotions back. All had been said and all had been done. I tried to save him, I really did, but I guess there were just times when one would end up sinking too.

That was what happened to me and this was all that I could do. Was I waiting in vain? In fact, what was I truly waiting for? Was I waiting for him to run back into my arms? Show up at the cafe? Or was I waiting for the time when fate, if it wants to, would bring us back again? 

At this point, only time could tell what was truly in store for Jihoon and I. We had spent so much time together and made a whole bunch of memories; surely our friendship would not come to an end like this… right?

* * *

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

The days started to pass slower and the same went for the weeks as I preferred to stay at home and simply lie on my bed now. I did not have much money either after my father found most of my savings, and was lucky enough to fall back on at least 40,000 won for the next 2 full weeks before Sungwoon came back again with another 500,000 won for the next month. Hence, I ended up with a diet of instant noodles, Korean coffee treats from the street food stall owner just down the road and of course, the street food itself for my contributions. 

When I was not doing that, I was watching the days go by from whatever comfort and warmth I could find in my dismal room, drawing and scribbling away in the diary that Jinyoung had given me the previous time. There were no new tasks (because I have not met him since the argument) and so I continued to work on the skills that he had taught me before. However, I could not deny that whenever I picked up the book and opened it, there would be an apparent aching in my chest with the memories of that day coming back to me like a tidal wave. 

Similarly, it was as if a piece of me had been taken away because I soon felt like my life started to miss something significant from it. It was the longing for a friend; someone to confide in, someone to lean on when one is feeling down and most importantly, someone whom you could just spend time with in a simple cafe over a cup of coffee. One did not need to be anything exciting or extravagant, because it was the company that truly mattered. In fact, Jinyoung and I had probably reached a point in our friendship where we could just sit facing one another, smiling and staring the other all day with no words exchanged. 

And all of that changed because of one argument of pent up frustrations, tears, suppressed feeling and misunderstandings. 

There were nights when I could not fall asleep, even when I was in the safe haven known as my room. My father could not get me with the heavy bedside table right at the locked door, but I would still wake up with a heavy feeling in my heart and my mind. Call me selfish, but I did wonder whether Jinyoung was going through the same thing as I did; awake until the sun came up and getting so emotional at times that I would wake up with a drenched spot on my pillow from accidental shedded tears.

I missed him. I really did. In fact, how could anyone not miss the bright, positive and warm energy that the Hwang household exuded all the time, no matter how tired they were? Minhyun was in one of Korea’s top universities and Jinyoung was on his way to the top; it was unexpected, but they always made me feel welcomed, as if I was part of their little bubble even when I clearly did not blend in biologically. 

Then again, why should the physical aspects matter when it came to family anyway? It had already been established that it was the feeling that mattered, simply because I had experienced all that, even if it had only been a week or two since I got to know the both of them then. 

Now, it was not as if I had lost them, but it was clearly awkward to go back, especially after such an argument with equally hurtful words exchanged back and forth. I knew that Jinyoung had sensed something was not right (and I should have been smarter) a pretty while back, but his reaction was something that I definitely did not expect. He was someone who was relatively calm and composed, just like Minhyun, hence, I had never seen him cry and shout so much ever. 

Perhaps it was because of that which caused me to react the way I did. I increased my defence mechanism and pushed him away rashly without processing my thoughts and feelings clearly. I was so fixated on the fact that he had found out, expressed his inner frustrations and I, in response, did not know how to react. 

Occasionally, every Wednesday, there were times when I felt like I had lost control over my body. I would pack my bag, head out of the house in the best fashion that I could pull off and take the bus to the cafe that Jinyoung and I met up in every week, sometimes twice, sometimes thrice. My mind was blank at that point, and I would just stare out of the window blankly, taking in the change in the sights and sounds around me. 

When I alighted, I headed off to the direction of the cafe like a robot; expressionless and going purely by muscle memory. It was already a habit and like they always say, “Old habits die hard.” I suppose they were true by this point and I would arrive closer and closer to the cafe. At one moment, I would see it in the distance; at the next, I was right across the road and finally, I found myself right in front of the huge glass door, ready to open it and step foot into the cafe like I always would without any form of hesitation in my steps. 

For some strange reason, when I was about to open the door of the cafe, there would always be something stopping me. My hand would linger on the handle, before I retreated it back and resorted to lean against the wall at the entrance instead. 

_ No, I could not show up just like that.  _

There were many strange stares that I got from the public, whether it was from the patrons of the cafe, or simply passer-bys. I would grimace and give them a little nod, until a barista came out once to ask if I wanted to come in. 

“Good afternoon sir, would you… Oh? Aren’t you Jinyounggie’s friend? He’s inside if you are looking for him!” He would chirp, and this was the barista that we came to know as Yoon Jisung. He was a friendly and happy-go-lucky kind of guy, always facing his customers with a warm smile and fantastic service. In fact, it was as if he was made for the service industry. 

“A-ah…” I responded, but looked away, thinking hard of an excuse, “I-I was just waiting for another friend. He’ll be here soon so… i-it’s okay. Thank you. H-He’s not too familiar with this area so it would be better for me to stand out here and wait for him instead.” 

Luckily, he bought the idea and nodded, before waving me a goodbye and wishing me a good day ahead. I heaved a sigh of relief and proceeded to peek around the corner, only to be met with Jinyoung sitting by the usual booth seat. He had his earphones plugged in, oblivious to the world around him, and there he was, reading through his notes and writing them down onto a piece of paper. Indeed, he still looked good, even from afar. He had lost a bit of weight, but I suppose that it was normal, especially with the memories of how it used to be like when I was still schooling. 

God knows how long I had been staring at him and I was soon in my own little world too, but little did I know that he had actually looked up from his notes and made eye contact with me for a split second. When I noticed that, I sucked in a breath in shock and hid behind the wall once again. 

_ Please don’t come out. Just pretend like you didn’t see anything. Just… go back to whatever you were doing. It’s not the time now.  _

It was gruelling to wait, and I would snap my head back if I heard the door open and the familiar door bell that came along with it, but I thanked the heavens and my lucky stars that Jinyoung was not one of the patrons leaving the cafe. Hence, I looked back to where he was, convinced that he was back to his studies and true enough, he was.

At that point, I simply wanted to muster the courage to say hello, even if it was just a wave through the window, but I knew deep inside that it was not going to be so simple. Jinyoung was clearly a sensitive boy, and I did not exactly say the nicest things to him either that day. Keeping that in mind, I figured that it was just going to be better if I watched him afar for now, giving him the time that he needed to heal inside. Furthermore, if I did actually say hello, he might not even acknowledge me, especially when he was already so focused on his work. 

So there I stood like a hopeless fool outside the cafe, watching and waiting for the time when things would go back to what they once were before.

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

Perhaps it was just simply me missing Jihoon little by little and apart from being at the cafe every Wednesday, as usual, or even more, I soon found myself venturing in the area closest to his home once again. The area around sure brought a whole bunch of memories back; when I was going through the motion of committing suicide, hoping to bump into Jihoon again after that, seeing the posters of Minhyun’s exhibition on the walls and the banners on the lampposts as well as simply spending time with Jihoon in the convenience stores or street food stalls. 

Only the Almighty knows why I was here at this very moment and even I questioned what I was doing in the area. Firstly, there was not many places to go or visit, or even most amenities in the first place. This town was simply catered to the working adults and the youth, which only explained why this quaint and quiet little town was more active in the night time with pubs and bars opening their doors once the sun sets. In the day, there were only those places which I had mentioned above and the occasional boutiques with clothes and shoes, as well as shops selling antiques and ancient Korean artworks. For most of the time, they were run by the kindest people one could ever meet, always ready to greet one with a wide smile and positivity. According to Minhyun, he usually came to this area to look for inspirations and even consulted the store owners about his ideas so that he could have an opinion that would not only appeal to the artists themselves, but to the general public as well. 

_ Probably explains why he does so amazingly well in his major because he is able to relate to the ordinary people and bring about a bond between the old and the young, tradition and modernity. Indeed, Yonsei’s Visual Art prodigy and co-valedictorian.  _

“Jinyoung-goon!!” A familiar voice called out, and I turned around, only to be met with a familiar middle-aged woman wearing a bright smile on her face, and I waved back to her with the same expression. Sure, I was not having the best day, but it was impossible to smile when one saw her. 

“Wow… I’ve not seen you in a while. How is Minhyunnie? Is he doing well? I saw his exhibition posters a month or two ago and I hope it went well!” 

“O-oh, yes, it did, Mrs Lee. There was a huge turnout of people from his school and it was even held over a course of 2 days, which is rare for an artist in Yonsei itself. Furthermore, he’s been scoring As for his recent projects and assignments, so I guess one could say that he is doing perfectly fine.”

She chuckled at the comment, before brushing something off my shoulder in a gentle sweep, “Then how about you, young man? I heard you’ve been busy the last time Minhyun was here.” 

“Y-yes I have. I’ve been working on my digital art and pottery skills lately and I think I’m finally getting the hang of it in terms of the theories and concepts. It’s all thanks to Minhyun hyung, who helped me greatly in discovering the purpose and meaning, instead of just simply being good at it.” 

“I see… Well, that’s good to hear.” 

Suddenly, her face happened to light up, as if she had just remembered something and proceeded to take it out of her bag. It was a simple trinket, nothing too special, in a small brown paper bag and she handed it out to me. I took it of course, and looked inside, only to be met with a sight of a red velvet box in the bag. 

“What’s this, Mrs Lee?” 

“Ah… It was something that I wanted to give to your mother, Mrs Hwang, and it was something that she was eyeing for a very long time. Her husband had got it initially a long time ago, but after he passed away, I assume that he did not tell her about it, provided that it was supposed to be a surprise for one of their anniversaries. I have carried with me ever since, and I don’t know, something just tells me that it’s time for either you or Minhyun to pass it to her.” 

I nodded in acknowledgement and knowing, but I could not deny that there was a strange feeling within me; that it should be Minhyun instead of me holding onto this package. He was her biological son, and I just happened to be someone whom they took in later on in their lives. Sure, she had told me time and time again that it was as if Minhyun had a younger brother now, but blood was thicker than water. Surely it would have been better for Minhyun to have received it instead of me. 

However, I must have either been very obvious with my facial expressions, or she just had an extremely good sixth sense, but Mrs Lee did vocalise my thoughts. Sure, I was surprised, but she only gave me a reassuring smile, telling me that it was perfectly fine. She knew what kind of a woman Mrs Hwang was, and according to her, she was not very open with affectionate gestures, but she spoke proudly of both Minhyun and I. In fact, it was always as if the idea of her “sons” brightened up her day and kept her going, despite the occasional grief from the passing of Mr Hwang. 

“Oh, and I know this sounds like a little bit of an advertisement, but if you are in need of any flowers, my son, Lee Daehwi, has recently opened a little shop selling all types of flowers and gifts just down the road. All you need to do is walk straight, turn right and you will see it immediately. Truth be told, there is no way you can miss it.” 

And with that, she ran off with a quick goodbye, leaving me standing in the middle of the sidewalk with a name card in my hand. 

“Welcome to Flovers, the perfect shop for flower lovers!” 

_ Well, this definitely screams joy, happiness and positivity.  _

Soon, I found myself actually walking towards the flower shop, exploring the little nooks and crannies around Jihoon’s nearest neighbourhood at the same time. Indeed, this was truly where the hidden day life of the city was and it was almost like a great substitute for Insadong without all the hustle and bustle of the crowds. 

I found Mrs Lee’s store as a landmark and kept walking straight, turning right at the end of the road and I guess it was true when she said that the shop was impossible to miss. No, it was not huge but it sure did have an eye-catching appearance with the clean white roof and the beautiful flower arrangements that gave the front of the store its pop of colour. Indeed, it was easy to see that Daehwi, Mrs Lee’s son, was passionate about flower arrangement. Funny that I had expected a little bit more people in the store, but then again, it was newly opened and it was also in such an obscure corner of the street too. 

“Good afternoon and welcome to Flover, the perfect place for lovers and enthusiasts of flowers! My name is Lee Daehwi. How may I help you today?” A voice chirped, and I looked up to be met with a youthful and smiling teenager dressed in an orange turtleneck sweater and long overalls, paired together with a simple pair of white sneakers. He was slightly shorter than me, about Jihoon’s height, and skinny with ashy brown hair. In a nutshell, however, he was just the epitome of sunshine at that point. 

“H-hello… I was just wondering whether you could arrange a bouquet for me; appropriate for… my mother’s grave…? I’m just visiting today and I thought it would be nice to have some flowers. I hope you wouldn’t mind…”

“Oh,” he said, processing the information (even though I could tell that I did deflate his happy bubble a little), but he was quick to plaster a smile back on and nodded as he scanned the store to see what was available. 

“Sure, I can do one for you and you’re lucky because some fresh ones meant for… that occasion came in today. I assume you have no particular theme that you would like to convey? My customers’ wants will always be my first priority, and if you want to create something with an even deeper meaning, I can do it for you too!”

“It’s okay,” I replied with a smile, and he shot me an enthusiastic nod, before gathering the flowers from the various metal pots and glass fridges to make the bouquet. I had no idea what they represented, but looking at his selection, I knew that it was going to be simple but beautiful; just like how Mrs Hwang was on the inside and out. 

Daehwi had disappeared for a little while, but soon returned with a steaming cup of liquid and placed it on the white marble table that he had at a quaint corner of the store.

“Sir, I’m not sure what you liked so here’s a cup of green tea while you wait. I hope it’s okay for you.” And with that, I smiled and nodded as he gave me a full 90-degree bow, running back to the counter to put the flowers together. 

With the warm atmosphere, calming ambience and the fresh smell of flowers, this place was almost like a short getaway from the hustle and bustle of the typical Seoul city life. In fact, it was safe to say that it felt as if I was no longer in Korea and was instead in the alleyways of Italy. Furthermore, with the soft classical music which filled the relatively empty area, it helped me to unwind greatly when I took in a deep breath, feeling my shoulders ease as time went by. 

In the end, I suppose Minhyun was right when he said that I could fall asleep everywhere, no matter the situation, and there I was, head supported by my crossed arms as I took a light snooze. However, I was soon woken up by a gentle tap on my shoulder and another of Daehwi’s cheerful grins. 

“Sir, sorry to keep you waiting, but your bouquet is ready. I decided to go simple with it this time around and decided on a range of white, yellow and pink flowers to give it a little more colour than the usual baby breaths and lilies. Judging from my first impression of you, I suppose that you wanted to convey that you were sad because your mother passed away, but you were able to overcome all that and become a stronger person today. I hope you like it.” 

I was a little stunned by the colours, and one could easily mistake it for a bouquet that I was going to end up giving it to my significant other, a date or even just a bouquet to add some decoration to my home. In other words, it looked nothing like a mournful and mundane bouquet that I usually saw when I did decide to visit Mrs Hwang. Instead, it exuded life, positivity, joy and most importantly, hope; something which Mrs Hwang had instilled in Minhyun and I eventually.

_ These are the only things you need to live a fulfilling life _ . 

Those were Mrs Hwang’s words and she would remind us time and time again, whatever the situation. 

I proceeded to fish out a 50,000 won from my pocket, but the florist shook his head, saying that he would only charge me 20,000 won at most. Surprised, I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows and a shifting gaze, but he only explained that flowers were not meant to be expensive and the value behind it was what truly mattered. And with that, I left the store with a clearer mind and a lighter heart, amidst all that had happened over the past few weeks. 

However, when I was about to leave the shop, someone had stepped in too, bumping into my shoulder lightly on the way. I turned to look at him, but only noticed him wearing a baseball cap that shaded his facial features. Furthermore, it did not help that he was wearing a black facial mask, but I could not deny that he exuded vibes of familiarity. The contradictory colourful fashion was one and his physical build was another, but he did not turn around either way. Hence, I shrugged my shoulders and shook off the thoughts, until I found myself stopping in my tracks and standing rooted to the ground at the sound of his voice. 

“Hi sir! Welcome to Flover! How may I help you today?” 

“Uh… Do you happen to have flowers that convey the message of an apology and doesn’t die too quickly?” 


	11. And So We Meet Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I know that this is probably the shortest and most "disappointing" chapter ever but I would just like to apologise for the long wait. :( As you guys probably know, I am currently en route to sitting for what we call the "biggest" examination ever in our schooling years, so I have simply been busy trying my best to go through all my materials to make sure that I am ready for whatever challenges that await me in a mere 40-45 days time. :( 
> 
> On this note, I would also like to add that I will be going on a short hiatus for this fanfiction. Don't worry, I will still be writing it, but I will not be updating it until my examinations are over on the 29th of November. :') I know it sounds like a pretty long time, but I'll definitely be back before you know it. :) 
> 
> Also, thank you for all the love and support I have received over the past couple of months and it always makes my day to know that you guys have been keeping up with the story so actively and have loved every single chapter of it. :) No words can truly express how grateful I am for all of your kind comments and I do hope that you guys will continue to look forward to the rest of the story, even if it's going to take a little longer than usual with regards to the frequency of updates. :') 
> 
> Nevertheless, you guys can also find me on Tumblr (@all-about-wannaone) and Instagram (@nat_ventures_)! If you guys have any questions, don't be afraid to ask me anything and I'll try my best to reply to every single one of you. <3 
> 
> For now, I wish you all goodbye and I will see you again soon!
> 
> UPDATE: I apologise for the confusion about the identity of the barista omg T.T I got confused with another similar barista AU that I wrote for Jihoon and all of them were baristas in there. T.T The name has changed from "Sungwoon" to "Jisung"!

**[Jihoon’s POV]**

Accompanied with the fact that I hardly left the house now, my father’s violent tendencies had decreased significantly and this was probably due to me keeping my doors locked when he was home. There were times when he had threatened to break down the door, but I remained firm, refusing to open it and simply taking refuge in the closet until he was too exhausted to continue. Then, I would crawl out slowly before opening the door a little to check that my coasts were clear and it was only confirmed when I heard the main door slam; like it did every single day and night, no matter the tike.

Strangely, only the Almighty would know why I had decided to step out on this very day. Perhaps it was because of the weather with the clear blue skies and the sun high up there, accompanied by the cool summer breeze, or was it simply because I had started to grow the feeling of restriction and the discomfort of being cooped up in such a small area with nothing but an old wooden wardrobe, a queen sized bed and a study table? Nevertheless, I picked my clothes quickly this time around, deciding not to give any care about what I put together and headed out almost immediately.

I walked past all the dilapidated buildings, stopping in my tracks when I recognised a familiar sight; the building in which I had met Jinyoung for the first time. Back then, he was clearly ready to end his life at some point, but got distracted eventually (by me) and clearly forgot about those thoughts. Sure, I did not see him face-to-face anymore, satisfied with watching from a distance, but he had looked perfectly fine these past few weeks. He had his head buried in his books, earphones plugged into his ears and a cup of cold vanilla latte keeping him company as he studied. No matter how long he took, I would always find myself sitting on the convenience store’s patio opposite the cafe.

Believe me, I preferred to view my actions as “looking out”, rather than “stalking”. I swear, I was not a creep and in fact, I had no intention at all to be one anyway.

For most of the time, he would be seen studying with an obviously high level of concentration, but there were also times when he needed a rest and some form of leisure from the stresses of school and examinations. At that, he would either be taking more power naps than usual, or show up at the cafe empty handed with nothing but a piece of classical literature, such as "Little Women" or "Jane Eyre". 

Whenever I saw him, there was still an aching in my heart, no doubt, and a tinge of regret, but I still managed to convince myself at the end of the day that this was probably for the better. It was mean to say this, but if Jinyoung was an ordinary human being, he would be glad sooner or later that I had taken (or at least attempted to) a leave from his life. He would be less distracted, more relaxed and less… burdened? Whatever the case, I was sure that it would be beneficial for the both of us in the long run.

I cared too much for him, and this is why I need to let him go.

As I continued walking past the buildings, favourite hangout spots and into the busier streets, I started to notice posters pasted on the walls, promoting a flower shop by the name of “Flover”. According to the poster, it was run by a young teenager named Lee Daehwi, who claimed to have a passion for anything related to the flora, fauna and botany; nature in general. To me, it was a little strange with it being tucked away in a street which was lined with bars, nightclubs and dingy restaurants, but judging by the colours of the poster, I figured that it screamed joy, happiness, relaxation and positivity.

_Perhaps it will be a good place to go to get a clear head and attempt to find some inner peace._

And so I made my way, with a piping hot and fresh cup of ddeokbokki, given out of kindness from Ms Jung, the middle-aged store owner whom I helped if I could. She had seen me walking by her store, and shot me another motherly smile, motioning me to come over to her store. I thanked her profusely, but she only shook her head, saying that she had a feeling I had not eaten anything yet. When I thought about it, together with Minhyun’s anecdotes about Mrs Hwang’s kindness, it was somewhat like the qualities I found in Ms Jung. And in all honesty, I was thankful.

The journey seemed to take ages to me, and I had finally arrived. Indeed, this place was impossible to miss, especially in a relative ghost town as compared to Sinchon-dong. The town was more active at night anyway, but this store stood out and I did feel as if it should not be here in the first place.

It was a simple store with its front decorated with an array of fresh flower arrangements, with species of different shapes, sizes and colours. Furthermore, it was also accompanied by a few wreaths congratulating the opening of the store and a white roof with an apparent vintage dining set at the front of the store. The glass reached from floor to the ceiling, giving it enough natural lighting to produce a quaint, tranquil and calming store. From afar, I could see the florist, Lee Daehwi, behind the counter arranging flowers and a customer sitting inside with his hand supporting his head as he slept away.

The customer did look familiar from the back, but I did not pay much attention to it anyway and examined his fashion instead. He had light brown hair, a lean figure and was wearing a striped short sleeved collared shirt combined with basic Stan Smith sneakers and black skinny jeans.

When Daehwi was finished, he proceeded to the customer, gave him a gentle tap on the shoulder to wake him up and was soon observed to be explaining a few things to the customer. The latter nearly handed out a 50,000 won note, but Daehwi rejected it with a smile and the customer then handed him 2 notes in smaller denominations. I wanted to be alone in the store and hence I waited for the customer to stand up before making my way across the road.

Unfortunately, I was a little too clumsy that I had actually bumped into the customer’s shoulder on the way out, immediately turning to face him, only to realise that I had just bumped into Jinyoung. My eyes widened in shock a little, but I composed myself quickly and muttered a soft and quick apology before I made my way in to look at the flowers in the store.

There was no way I was turning around now. No way.

_Thank God I decided to wear a black facial mask and a cap today. Like they always say, always be prepared._

“Hello! Welcome to Flover! My name is Lee Daehwi, the store owner, how may I help you today?” An enthusiastic voice said behind me, but I did not turn around, instead choosing to wait for the florist to walk towards me instead.

“U-uh…” I stammered, not knowing what I was even looking for in the first place. I had not come into this store with the intention of buying any flowers, and I obviously had no clue that there could be these many flowers in a store ever. Sure, there was the typical lilies, hibiscus, baby’s breath and roses but there were so many others that I had never seen before. Furthermore, all of them looked alive and well, and I wondered why there was nobody else here in the first place because of the high quality of products.

Only God would know why this was the first thing that came to my mind, but I asked anyway, “Do you have something that represents the idea of an apology and doesn’t die too quickly?”

“Hmm…” The store owner hummed, whipping out a tablet to check the flowers that he had in stock and looking around the store at the same time. And that was when I heard the sound of a doorbell. I turned around, and realised that Jinyoung had gone on his way. Truth be told, my heart did sink a little and regret soon took over my mind to a certain extent, but I was soon brought back to reality when Daehwi nodded and told me to wait patiently for his creation.

“I forgot to ask the previous customer what he wanted so I served him green tea with tea leaves imported directly from Jeju Island. How about you sir, what would you like to have? It’s free!”

I thought for a bit and answered calmly with a tiny smile on my face, “Do you happen to have Earl Grey tea?”

The florist nodded with a wide grin from ear to ear, before explaining that the tea leaves were imported as well and assured me that I had made an excellent choice. And he came back faster than I had expected, still with the wide grin on his face.

“Here you go sir, Earl Grey tea. I’m pretty sure you will enjoy it because it is my personal favourite as well. However, I would just like to say that your gift might take a little longer than usual. I hope you can wait…”

I only nodded with a small smile and Daehwi returned it with his smile turning 10 times brighter and his eyes turning into crescent moons, running back to the counter while grabbing some flowers from the pots and fridges on the way. I was not sure what he was doing, but from the sounds, he was cutting the stalks of the flowers and possibly piecing them together in another form.

With that, I waited, taking in the smell of fresh flowers and feeling the tension in my shoulders ease. I closed my eyes for a while to calm myself as I sipped on the tea, feeling the warmth from the drink spread through my entire being. Sure, it was warm enough outside but it was the tea that warmed my insides the best; and it was something that I truly needed at this point. I had just seen Jinyoung, and I could still feel my heart palpitating against my chest; slow but evident, accompanied by some form of discomfort and ache. Surely the weather was not going to be the one to comfort that, only things like these could put my insides at ease.

20 minutes in and Daehwi returned with a smile, clearly proud of his creation, and presented me with two things- a bookmark backed up with brown paper and glued to it was a bunch of small flowers and leaves, whereas the other item was a photo frame bordering a box, which contained a mini garden, as if it was made into a 3-dimensional scenery. Indeed, I was in awe with widened eyes and a hanging jaw, because it looked that beautiful. I was confident that the receiver would love it and that was because it was going to be Jinyoung anyway.

“I hope you like it sir. Sorry for making you wait for so long! Not only is it my first time mending my own store but it is my first time coming up with whatever spare materials I had to craft something like this. I seek your understanding in this manner.”

“N-no…” I replied, shaking my head the moment Daehwi bowed, “It’s beautiful and I love it. I really appreciate it. Unfortunately… I don’t really have a lot of money. Sorry for n-not letting you know earlier either…”

Daehwi chuckled when he heard that, and gave me a reassuring pat on my back, telling me that he was not here for the money but it was solely for his passion, especially when it came to personalised gifts.

“Sir, please. Don’t look at me like that. Trust me, I am perfectly okay.” He assured, but I shoved 15,000 won into his hand anyway, and that was all I had left at the moment. Once again, he was about to refuse, but I shook my head and balled up his opened hands with the money into a fist.

“Keep it. It’s truly what a customer should do, and besides, if people do spot you giving free gifts, there might be a chance when people would come here solely for their advantage and leave nothing for you. You are a young boy, and… I don’t wish for that to happen to you.”

There was a glimpse of a sad smile that I caught as Daehwi looked at the money and placed it into his pocket, realising that I was completely serious. And I really was. He was only a young entrepreneur and as far as I knew, him running a business like that would definitely get him places, but at the same time, it was hard to see it that way from someone who has lived in a relatively cruel world his whole life.

“T-thank you sir. I won’t be able to thank you enough. I’m glad you like your gift.” He finally said, cutting the awkwardness between the two of us.

“Thank you too for the gift,” I replied with my usual smile, “I will get going now and I wish you all the best to your flowery road of success.”

He laughed heartily at the statement, and shook his head, before waving me off with an enthusiastic goodbye. With that, I left the store feeling refreshed, free and for a very rare moment, I had finally understood what the state of being at peace really meant.

* * *

**[Jinyoung’s POV]**

Somehow, after I had visited Mrs Hwang for the first time in ages, it was as if I became an improved version of myself; someone whom I have always wanted to become.

Trust me, being diagnosed with depression was no easy feat to overcome, and there were many days when I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into the deep sea of negative thoughts. It could range from simply feeling down, questioning one’s self-worth or even doubting your purpose in this world, figuring that the world would probably be a better place if one disappeared. In short, it was a true mess really, and it was chaos in one’s own mind.

However, when I had reached Mrs Hwang’s grave, I felt as if a sense of calm and comfort had finally washed over me. I took a seat by her gravestone, after placing the flowers that Daehwi had so painstakingly put together, and began to release all my pent up frustrations, thoughts and feelings. I even told her about Jihoon; how I had met him, the memories we shared and finally ended with our argument. I went on to explain how I truly felt, and the stares from the other visitors did not bother me at all. I just kept talking, ignoring all my surroundings and just focused on my “time” with Mrs Hwang.

As I spoke, I felt the weight on my shoulders and chest lighten and it was almost equivalent to how I felt when either Mrs Hwang or Minhyun were around, being the supportive and positive beings like they always were in my relatively dull and mundane life. Call me crazy, but I could almost believe that Mrs Hwang was right there in that moment with me, listening to all the things that I could not have told her when I was younger and her comforting me at the end of it. I felt brighter, happier and, for the first time, free.

“Sorry Mrs Hwang for not visiting you earlier but I promise to come by more often, and I will be sure to bring Minhyun with me too. Thank you for listening to me today and I hope that it was not too much for you to do so. Minhyun’s doing extremely well now and I’m… surviving high school as of now. I wish you the best of health, Mrs Hwang, and wherever you may be, may it be a good place to seek eternal happiness.”

Those were my last words before I left the graveyard, greeting the caretaker on the way with a polite bow and a small smile. For most of the time, he hardly smiled at anyone who walked past, and it would definitely make one wonder how a man who had so many frustrations on his mind could even seek solace in a place like this, but he actually did smile for once and even nodded to acknowledge my presence.

Indeed, I guess one could say that it was truly a good day that I had experienced for once.

Things were getting better, and I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, I knew that the thought of Jihoon still resided deep within my heart and mind. There were days when I simply wanted to look for him, give him a hug and apologise for all the words that I said without thinking a second thought. Then again, he was a sensitive boy and had probably seen too much of the hatred and harshness in this world to forgive me so easily. It was clear that he had already experienced that in his own home, and yet, I just had to make it worse. In fact, I could safely say that if I were to meet Jihoon again, I was sure that I would end up feeling as if I was treading on eggshells

Hence, I soon resorted to letting time and fate take its course. Just like Minhyun had said, there was only so much I could do at this point, and he had also mentioned about the importance of times when two parties let go of each other in order to find themselves in the storm. If they were really meant to meet again, then it would all be due to uncontrollable factors like fate and time. Many weeks had passed and there was no sign of him anywhere, no matter how frequently I went to the cafe, the rooftop in one of Sinchon-dong’s many alleys and our favourite spot in the Hangang River, underneath the Angsana tree. Many passersby wondered what I was doing alone in such an area, but I never paid any attention to their judgement, ever.

As time went by, perhaps life had other plans up its sleeve.

At one point, I started to notice a strange figure, who stood in the front corner of the cafe. He was always looking in my direction, as if he was watching me intently, and for some strange reason too. Unfortunately, the bottom half of his face was covered with a black facial mask and his features were further concealed with a black baseball cap. Sure, there were times he was a little careless but for most of the days, his reflexes were too quick for me and I ended up missing that one perfect glance to look at his face. He was either seen reading a book, sketching on napkins or simply watching the clouds and cars pass by.

It was a little strange and terrifying at first, and there were times when I ensured that I had a friend, whose name was Yoon Jaechan, to keep me company from the moment I left the house to go to school until I came home, no matter how late it was. Indeed, I was beyond grateful to have made such an understanding and lifelong friend. Sometimes, if he was unable to make it, I would ask Minhyun and, as expected, he was more than willing to follow me all the way to school, stay in the library and accompany me to the cafes in the area, just to make sure that I felt safe with numbers. In addition, there were times when Yoojung came together with him for urgent group project discussions and that was a time for me to get to know her better.

She was a bright and friendly girl with loads of energy, and it was clear that she shared a similar passion in the Arts as well. Apart from majoring in the Visual Art aspect, she was also involved in the school’s renowned vocal ensemble, and was well on her way to achieving her second degree in business management. To me, she complimented Minhyun’s reserved personality well and somehow, I could tell that Minhyun now saw her more than just a friend and a project partner.

For example, when she had simply made a statement that she was cold, he took off his army green parka immediately without a word, adjusting it for her to wear comfortably. When she wanted food, he would get up and ask her with a kind smile on what she wanted so that he could get it for her, and that led to adorable bickering sessions between the two on how much they already owed each other. When she was typing away on her laptop in utmost concentration, he would steal a glance or two occasionally and smile the smallest of smiles.

Truth be told, I was relieved to see that Minhyun had someone in his life to keep him happy now, especially after all the trying times that he had experienced as a teenager. From that, I suppose they were right when they said that God always had bigger plans for every individual. Of course, it does not take place immediately for the majority, but all one had to do was to be patient and it was a given; just like the two of them.

Unfortunately, neither Minhyun or Jaechan were able to accompany me this time around to the cafe. Minhyun apologised profusely when he said that he would need to remain in the studio to improve on his pottery piece, but assured me otherwise that he would be there in a jiffy if I felt as if my safety was threatened. On the other hand, Jaechan casually dropped me a text message, saying that he had to attend an impromptu dance practice in preparations for the upcoming winter recital that he had chosen to participate in. In addition, it was also Wednesday; the day when Jihoon and I usually met at 4pm every week. Perhaps it was a coincidence, but that was also the day when the stranger was always seen at the exact same corner and at the exact same time. 

He was never late, never early... He was just simply on time. 

Now, there he was again, sitting at the exact same corner in the outdoors and sketching on the brown paper napkins with a ballpoint pen and a 2B pencil in hand, just like what I happened to observe in the previous times.

However, unlike his usual monochrome outfits (and sometimes with a slight pop of colour), his fashion was extremely colourful this time around and the long sleeved rainbow tie-dyed shirt was just impossible to miss. Despite how hipster they looked, appealing to the fashionable youths of today's day and age, I did not witness anyone wearing them, even when I was walking in the crowded streets of Gangnam, Myeongdong or Apgujueong over the weekend for some retail therapy.

There was only one person that I knew with that shirt.

In a state of subconsciousness, I began to study him closely now and soon, I had begun to connect the dots; bells ringing in my head indicating that my hunches were correct. He was the same height as Jihoon, had the same build, coincidentally wore the same clothes and had the same white sneakers on. In a nutshell, these were the clothes which he had worn on the very first day I had met him on the rooftop.

I started to notice the baristas walking by too, so that they could clean up the tables and prepare for new customers coming in by keeping the place spick and span. Hence, I waved to one of them that I was familiar with and asked in a hushed manner, “Hyung, who’s that sitting out there?”

“Who?” Jisung asked, and his eyes seem to light up in recognition, “Oh, that’s one of our regular customers. He just prefers to sit outside, so we moved a table out especially for him. There were times when we had asked him to come in, especially when it could be either freezing out there with the cool autumn breeze or scorching hot, but he would always refuse, just asking for a paper and a pen.”

“In fact,” Jisung continued, “He was an old regular here too. He always arrived every Wednesday at 2pm and I always remembered serving him a cup of iced chocolate. God knows how long he waits here for, but he always said that he was waiting for someone and he always waved my company off, saying that he would be okay on his own.”

“Ahh… Thank you hyung. I… really appreciate it.” I replied, forcing a smile on my face as my brain processed all the information that Jisung had just told me.

_That was Jihoon. There was no denying it any longer._

Perhaps I was staring at him a little too long, or he had noticed that I had met his gaze, and he seemed to get all jumpy, packing his things into his bag and walking away briskly in the opposite direction of the cafe. In fact, he did not spare a second glance and continued on his way, as if he was in a hurry.

_No Jinyoung, this is not the time to lose him now. You are given this one chance, so don’t you dare lose it._

“Hyung!!”

“Yes, Jinyoung-sshi? How may I help you?” Jisung asked, with two hands full of cups and plates stacked on two huge circular trays.

“Could you help me to watch my belongings while I go out for a while? I… just need some fresh air.”

“Sure, after I put all these back for the dishwasher to take care of. Don’t worry, your stuff will still be here when you come back.” Jisung smiled and nodded, indicating that I could leave feeling safe and secured. 

Not wanting to disturb the rest of the customers, I walked slowly at first, but soon began to run the moment the doors closed behind me. Jihoon walked fast, but there was no way he could have walked so far while I was trying to ensure that my belongings were taken care of. Therefore, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, bumping into some people occasionally, but I paid them no attention, only looking left and right to look for the fashion terrorist of a boy.

_Shit… Where could he have possibly gone anyway?_

I peeked into the stores that were open, such as the convenience stores and some random boutiques which lined the street, seeing no hint of Jihoon and I kept running along. I was not the fittest of the lot, but I had to keep my pace. Suddenly, it was as if my sixth sense was at work, and I found myself turning into a little alleyway lined with huge green dustbins in between two red-bricked buildings. The stench from the rubbish was extremely putrid and there were plenty of potholes here too, filled to the brim with cloudy water; a likely mix of dirt and rain.

_Minhyun would probably stay away from this place at all cost, but I have to keep going. There was no way I could have brought myself here for no reason… right?_

And there I saw it, the sighting of a rainbow coloured sleeve and I took in a deep breath, walking slower now towards the familiar figure. I staggered my way through, shaking my head to ensure that I was still walking in a straight line after all that sprinting.

“Never thought you would find me here.” That familiar deep and melodic voice spoke.

“Hyung… I’m sorry. I know you’ve been hurting,” I took in a deep breath once again to ease my huffs and puffs, continuing, “I’m sorry I could not find you earlier, or more like I did not have the courage to.”

“I missed you really,” Jihoon said, and I smiled in relief, before pulling him into a gentle hug.

Strangely, he did not reciprocate it this time around, and only pushed me away gently, before looking up at me with solemnity and sadness in his eyes. After a few moments of silence shrouded in mystery and tension, he finally broke it by making a statement that made my hair stand straight on its roots almost instinctively.

“I suppose it’s time for you to know a little more about me. The things that I’ve not been able to tell you, the reasons why I try so hard to hide them... But... you have, no, you need to promise me one thing.”

“And what is it?” I asked, keeping his two hands in my palms as I rubbed small circles into former's hands with my fingers, probably to provide him with some comfort and confidence for whatever that he was going to tell me.

“Promise me that you will not run away, unless I tell you to. In the event that I do tell you, you had better be gone in a jiffy, because I do not want anything, anything at all, to happen to you.”

I paused for a moment, but only shot back with the most comforting smile I could probably wear on my at that point in time. There was no denying that fear started to brew in the depths of my heart, but it was clearly not the time to show it to him now. 

Hence, if I wanted to find out a little bit more about him, I had to keep my word, and so I did. 

“Okay. I… promise.”


End file.
